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NS(K)Q: Q59 – She’s pushing my hard limits.

February 5th, 2016 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 59:

I have this one unusual hard limit. I bring it up with every single person I intend to have sex with, whether or not I expect kink to enter the equation. It’s really silly. Most people laugh when I mention it. But I am firm on it. I just can’t do it.

Recently, my relationship dynamic has gone from play partner to full-time submissive. I was very clear that my hard limits stayed the same, but my mistress keeps pushing. She says that if I’m to be hers, I need to trust her to push my boundaries. It’s making me uncomfortable. What should I do?

A hard limit is a hard limit is a hard limit. It doesn’t matter how silly other people think your hard limit is. All that matters is you don’t want to do it.

It’s frustrating to me that your mistress used the old “trust me to push your boundaries” line, because in a sense, she’s right. You should be able to trust her to push your boundaries. But that’s not on you. That’s on her. She has to be a trustworthy dominant if you’re going to trust her. Read more…