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But, You Said This Was Okay!

December 15th, 2009 4 comments

Being up with the storm outside sucks.  Really, it does.  I would love to sleep.  And in my insomnia mixed with fear of the storm, I was browsing Fetlife.  This is ALWAYS a smart idea at 12:45 in the morning.  I came across a thread that struck my fancy because of the fact that it is absolutely absurd.  The topic is sensitive and the play is acceptable in our circle, but the question that was posed was just ludicrous.

The topic involved a liability waiver for a rape scene.  The need for such a waiver would be to cover the play rapists ass in case the play victim loses his/her shit and decides to call rape on the “rapist.”  In the ideal world, this would be great.  Going to court and proving that you did not rape her because she signed a waiver saying that she consented to being raped will get you off without more than a slap on the wrist.

Wrong.

In the real world, this is what happens.  You take it too far.  Your partner absolutely loses his/her mind.  He/She says that everything is fine and upon leaving goes to the police and reports rape.  You are approached by the police and asked if this happened and if you raped him/her.  You say that you indeed did rape her because she signed a contract.  The police arrest you.  You go to court.  The judge sends you to jail and you get raped without a waiver by a big man named Bubba.

The fact is that even with a waiver, you aren’t safe in any instance.  If you pursue this type of play, or any play for that matter, in the world of BDSM, you should be highly familiar with your partner.  If you have any doubt in your mind to the mental capacity or state of your partner, you should use your common sense and not pursue play.  The only thing a waiver is going to do is give you a false sense of security that if something goes horribly wrong, your ass is safe.  It is not and never will be.

People need to use more common sense and not depend on paper and pen to say “hey, she signed her name in blood so this is okay!”  Wrong.

Moral of the story: Know your partner and if you have any doubts, do not pursue.

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