Lone Voice
As I browse websites and blogs during my quiet times, I notice there are a lot of female s-types writing away that I can relate to. There seems to be a goodly number of them in power exchange relationships nearer to our end of the spectrum, who are intelligent, articulate, and secure in themselves and their relationships. They often seem to enjoy talking about how their life works, take time to explain it to others who have questions, who may be considering a similar way of life. I enjoy reading what they write, I enjoy seeing how their relationships work, I enjoy reading between the lines, seeing how they are being programmed or conditioned.
The men however, the ones in charge of these women, are generally less vocal. Most of the male d-types who write seem to fall into one of 3 camps.
The nervous newbie, “my girlfriend wants me to spank her” is often their first plea for help, and they get flooded with responses from the females across the spectrum from the bedroom funsters to the completely owned. The male responses, few as they are, come from the seriously “true”.
The seriously true fall into one of two camps, the service tops, the submission is a gift to me to be treasured, subs need love etc. Or the serious Gorean types, the micromanagers with no clear plan or imagination.
Finally there are the owners such as myself. Most of whom never post, perhaps a fear of being regularly labeled as misogynist abusers, or just a boredom of forever being so labeled. It could equally be that they are too busy “doing” to be “talking”. Either way, what of the male who wants to move along the bell curve, into the more complete end of ownership? Who does he turn to for words of wisdom? Sure there all those owned females are usually more than happy to talk where permitted, to offer advice, but what about alpha role models? Whilst I personally don’t agree with how many people use the label mentor these days, that doesn’t mean there is no place for a kind supportive word from someone on the same side of a power exchange.
I can see some merit to a response of “Everything she says with my authourity can be assumed to be approved by me, and from me by proxy”. It just doesn’t have quite the same impact though. There is a subtle but appreciable difference in words from the horses mouth, especially for those with less experience, less knowledge. Silence does not become us, are we not strong, proud of who and what we are? Yes our s-types can tell the world why we do things, but why should we not say our piece too in the interests of clarity?
It seems to be uniquely male too, female dominants at our end of the game are often happy to talk, debate, explain, yet most males just refuse to be drawn in. Is it that fear of being branded an abuser? A feeling that we may have to justify ourselves, explain something we think a basic concept?
So, If you are such a male and actually reading this, go somewhere, join in some discussions, you may not learn anything new, but perhaps you can teach someone else something. If you are the possession of such a person, encourage them to share, to help more people come to terms with themselves. There are millions of posts around the world from women wanting to submit and being encouraged, but for men who want to dominate, there is a scarcity of resources unless they fancy the epics of Gor, or to never have that totality of control they may desire.