Posts Tagged ‘transgender’

Weird Dude Dreams

September 26th, 2018 Comments off

rayne selfie

All of these bad selfies I’ve been using in posts are a cop out. I need to get back into photography. Maybe some day.

Quick note: Our theme seems to be having occasional trouble in Safari. I can’t figure out what’s causing it. It’s a super old theme, and we’ll be updating to something more modern and less of a pain in the ass to maintain, but for now, M’s buried, and he does all my theme work, so it might be a while. If you’re having theme issues, please drop me a line at and let me know what browser you’re using, and then try another browser. Thanks! Sorry for the inconvenience.

I’ve been having a lot of really weird dreams involving me being a dude.

A lot. Of really weird dreams.

There was this one where I was on testosterone. That was a while ago, so that’s all I really remember about it (and if I’m to be honest, I only really remember it because I was running a Twitter search for a conversation I participated in about whether or not “cis” is a slur, and that was one of the tweets that came up).

There was one where I was a trans man, but I couldn’t afford to transition. I had come out, and my family had disowned me, so I moved in with my friend and her husband (who, weirdly, lived in the house I spent my teen years in), and her husband was a complete piece of shit who kept doing fucked up shit to me because “you’re too pretty to be a dude.” Read more…

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How to Handle Transgender Name Changes as a Cisgender Person

May 3rd, 2017 Comments off

When I was in 9th grade, I met a boy. THE boy.

Or, you know, so I thought in 9th grade…and then 10th grade…and then part of 11th grade…and then I rarely spoke to him because his girlfriend was crazy jealous of me and showed up at my parents’ house with friends and baseball bats and threatened to beat me to death if I did, and it was easier for him if I stayed away because when we got caught talking, she’d threaten suicide. ANYway…

He was the boy that got away. The one I would always (I thought in high school) love more than anyone else. And probably the biggest point of contention between me and my ex (besides the abuse) even though most of the time, I didn’t even see or talk to him because of the aforementioned girlfriend.

I’m not in love with him anymore, obviously, but I think about him occasionally. Did he ever reach his life goal of owning a McDonalds? Did he get away from the aforementioned abusive girl he dated on and off throughout high school? Does he still hang out with the people we used to hang out with? Did he ever put together that jazz band he wanted?

But most of all, I think about his name. Read more…

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I don’t know what to say.

January 20th, 2016 Comments off

This isn’t going to be a long post. I actually had something else planned for today, but then YouTube sent me down a rabbit hole that made me sad and angry and confused…I’m not sure what I want to say, or even that I should say anything. I just feel like I need to. Maybe that’s my privilege speaking. I dunno.

So, in my “Suggestions For You” box on YT, there was a video entitled “Why I’m Detransitioning.”

After staring at the thumbnail for a couple minutes, wondering why YT was suggesting this for me, I clicked. I needed to see. To understand.

Ultimately, it’s none of my business. And maybe I don’t actually need to understand because I’m not trans. But I’m inquisitive, and I like to understand people, and so I watched the video. And then I watched it again. And again.

In it, a transwoman talks about how hard transitioning is, particularly for people who don’t live or work in accepting areas. From “passing”, to the financial burden due to surgeries and court costs, to problems that arise with employment, to making changes to government-issued identification, to societal views, to acceptance from their family and friends…transitioning is hard af. On top of body dysmorphia, and any mental health issues that come with that, transitioning can be crippling. Read more…

Should taxpayers pay for gender reassignment surgery?

June 11th, 2011 5 comments

There’s a subject on which I’m completely torn, and I don’t talk about it because I’m not really sure whether or not I have the right to talk about it, and I can’t tell you how utterly stupid that is. Because they are the minority and they need the support of the majority. Without the support of the majority, the movement raised in support of equality will fizzle and die. Yet, parts of this group continue to tell those of us not within the parameters they deem worthy that we have no right to an opinion, and certainly shouldn’t be trying to force our opinion, whatever that may be, upon those of us who don’t share our position in life. Whatever that means.

I get the notion of privilege, and the idea that I’m more privileged than a black woman simply because of the color of my skin disgusts me, but I won’t pretend I don’t see it every day when I’m mingling among the masses we call society. It’s apparent in the way people of every color trust me more than sometimes people of their own race or nationality. It’s noticeable in the ease with which people slip into conversation with me, and aren’t uncomfortable if I stand too close, and don’t mind leaving me with their prized possessions while they do something in another room. Read more…

But… I thought… – On National Coming Out Day

October 11th, 2010 6 comments

Click me to find out where to buy sheets of stickers just like me!

From the sheer numbers of congratulatory comments I’ve seen on Twitter, and the articles themselves, I’m probably, once again, making myself some enemies.  And honestly, I’m not even sure how to put this without coming across extremely offensive.  But here goes nothing.

Today’s National Coming Out Day.  I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it.  I support equal rights for gay people, and fully support a person’s right to be open about their sexuality.  Of course I do.  I’m bisexual, occasionally polyamorous, and have chosen to be a sex slave.  I love having the right to be who I am, and would give just about anything for everyone to be, at the very least, tolerant, if not accepting.  And I realize that coming out is huge for those who haven’t always been comfortable doing so.  But pretty much all of my friends are out.  I’m not sure I have many at all whose families don’t know their sexual orientation.  And I didn’t think it was necessary to begin a circle jerk of pats on the back for something we’ve already done, but others find just the consideration abhorrent, much less the actual act.  Read more…

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That’s discrimination! -or- Two words I’m sick of hearing.

July 15th, 2010 13 comments

My First Bitch:

Don’t you ever get bored of being offended? I mean, really.  I haven’t even completed the first paragraph of my post yet, and I’m willing to bet you’re already offended.  Doesn’t that seem kinda… silly? It’s gotta be stressful.  And exhausting!

I think the best phrase my parents taught me was “So what?” Which is usually followed by “That’s his problem.” As in, “Johnny just said you have a fat ass!” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah!” ~shrug~ “So what? That’s his problem.”

You should try it.  Go ahead.  Do it right now.  Here… I’ll help you out by reiterating my first paragraph:

Rayne says you get offended too easily and too often. So what? That’s her problem!

See how easy that is?  Read more…

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