Posts Tagged ‘sexual identity’

M feels that labeling myself “gay” erases him.

August 24th, 2014 13 comments

Recently, I’ve begun to refer to my sexuality as “gay”. It’s not so much how I identify as…

Okay, look. I feel weird calling myself bisexual.

Since I realized that a person’s genitalia and gender identification have nothing to do with whether or not I’m attracted to them, and since “bi” suggests being attracted to two genders, or having dual sexualities, “bisexual” doesn’t feel like it fits me. Besides that, there’s this irritating stigma surrounding bisexual women that says they’re “confused,” or claiming they’re bisexual because they want to be cool, or they’re greedy and unfaithful. I’m none of those things, and while distancing myself from a label because of social stigma may make me part of the problem, it’s still a thing I’m doing. I thought about calling myself “queer,” but it still feels like this weird special club I’m not invited to join, so I don’t.

In all honesty, I’ve been using “gay” because it’s easier than explaining “pansexual,” or telling the person I’m speaking to that genitalia and gender identification aren’t factors for me. It’s not that I care what they think. It’s that I’ve always preferred to keep interactions with other humans brief and to the point. Explaining my sexuality takes longer than just saying, “I’m gay.” Read more…

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