Posts Tagged ‘sex toys’

He tortured me with pleasure.

May 17th, 2015 Comments off

“Are you just enjoying your fingers on your clit more than anything tonight?”

He was watching me masturbate. Asking me questions. Making me crack open my skull and lay my fantasies bare for him.

Twice, he’d told me to put something in my cunt. Twice, I did as I was told. And twice, I’d eventually taken that something out, and gone back to massaging my clitoris.

“Well,” I said, stuffing down the mounting pleasure between my legs long enough to formulate a response. “Your fingers more than mine, but yes.”

My appetites go through phases. What kinds of stimulation I enjoy changes with the wind. One day, I won’t be able to get enough things inside of me fast enough or with enough force. The next, I don’t really want anything touching me that isn’t flesh. Right now, I’m all about fingers and lips and tongues and cocks. Silicone can’t compare. So thrusting my beloved Tantus in and out of my vagina was getting on my nerves.

Except when his fingers were working my clit. Read more…

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ToyWithMeTuesday: Shoot First, Focus Later

February 25th, 2014 Comments off


So, uh…yeah. I have no idea how this happened.


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Sex Toy Shaming and Bigoted Wise Cracks, FTW!

January 16th, 2014 4 comments



It started with a tweet. Erin Gloria Ryan, news editor for Jezebel, tweeted a “great last minute gift.”

It was, of course, a joke. Unless you work for a sex toy company, or have a personal relationship with your boss, you probably wouldn’t buy him a sex toy. But whereas it would be a “haha, funny” joke if *I* told it, because I’m all about sex toys for all genders, it turned into a very not funny joke when David Covucci, a writer for BroBible, requested some Tenga toys for review.

As is usually the case, I found out about the sitch from yet another tweet. Nerve published an article chastising Ryan for her characterization of men who use sex toys, and I followed links to the review. (He also talks about it in a podcast, here. It’s full of nervous laughter and back patting, and around 6:39, he reiterates that sex toy users are weird, and using sex toys is a weird thing to do. Apparently, sex toy users=Quagmire on Family Guy. By the time they segued into sports, I felt a little sick to my stomach. The things I do for you…)

The review begins:

Up until seven days ago, I’d never stuck my dick inside anything other than a woman. Thirty years of living good, the only contact my penis having outside of my own hand being that of another human.

Unfortunately, I can’t say that anymore.

Because last week, I received a bunch of plastic sex toys from Japan—toys meant to recreate the feelings of blowjobs and intercourse—and fucked the shit out of them.


I feel so much shame right now.

And by the end of the second sentence, I was refilling my cup of coffee and settling in for a sex-toy-related ragefest to end all sex-toy-related ragefests. Because if there’s one thing about society and sex toys that pisses me off, it’s the shame and ignorance surrounding them. A close running second is the douchebags (of all genders) who perpetuate and reinforce that shame and ignorance. Read more…

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The Best Motivator

December 17th, 2013 4 comments

IMG_2845-Earlier in the year, I wrote about how I need a punishment dynamic. The reason is simple. I’m not perfect, and Master and I are of the mind that breaking rules should have consequences, if only to teach the rule breaker a lesson. But if I’m to be honest, punishment is not what motivates me to perform to the best of my ability.

Punishment serves its purpose, of course. It gets the point across that the behavior I exhibited is wrong (as “wrong” behaviors go in our relationship), and should be corrected. It provides real consequences for actions that might not actually have consequences outside of the confines of our relationship. And it shows me that Master is paying attention, and will uphold the rules he’s given me, which, for me, is kind of a big deal.

I question authority in the best of times. When that authority seems not to care about their position, or allows me to steamroll them and just do whatever I want to, I will absolutely take advantage of them. Why not? They obviously don’t care about the rules. Why should I?

Not that I need Master to point out when I screw up. I know the second I do something wrong that I’ve stepped outside of the boundaries of my station in his life. Hell, I know as I’m doing it. But I’m an impulsive pain in the ass, and occasionally, no matter how hard I yank on the breaks, it’s already done, and the only thing there is to do about it is take the punishment. That’s life. I mean, how many times have you weighed your options, and made a life-affecting decision, only to realize how big of a mistake it was in the follow through? Read more…

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Permission to Exist for Him

October 11th, 2013 1 comment

LuckyI realize this blog hasn’t been the kinkiest thing in the world lately. In fact, in some cases, it’s been down right dreary. I’m working through some shit, and writing is the best way for me to do that. And since it’s my blog, I’ll cry if I want to. Or something.

Tuesday was, in a word, sucky. I was just be-bopping along, and suddenly I was slammed with this overwhelming feeling of worthlessness.

When it comes right down to it, there are physical reasons for this happening, but that’s little comfort when all you keep hearing in your head is “Why do you even exist? You don’t do anything good for anyone. Not even yourself. All you’ve ever done is ruin things.”

I spent some time in the bathroom, crying, telling the voices in my head to shut up, reminding myself that depression lies…

Finally, I got up, wiped my face, and…ripped apart the kitchen. Read more…

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I have to ask permission for lots of things, but you draw the line at masturbation?

September 11th, 2013 9 comments

All3One of the first things Master took away from me when he collared me was my right to choose when, where, and how to pleasure myself.

I probably asked him why. That’s what I do. Being a slave, I’m just supposed to accept whatever orders he gives me without question, but I am the original Why Child, and I question everything. I mean, I still do what I’m told, even without the answer. But I almost always ask. It’s just my way. #slaveryfail

I’m sure that when I asked him why, he responded with, “Because I can.” That’s his way.

It’s possible that later he explained it. I have a distant memory of a discussion about my pleasure belonging to him with the rest of me. I remember him saying a time or two that he wanted to be the one to give me pleasure, even if that meant telling me when I could pleasure myself. Read more…

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