Posts Tagged ‘random conversations’

Beware of sharp turns and falling debris!

July 7th, 2012 2 comments

When I was a kid, my aunt told me that my birth father sold me to my adoptive parents for five grand.

“He had a warrant, and he wanted a motorcycle,” she explained, her voice dripping with venom.

We’d had some stupid argument. She’s very used to getting her way with everyone because she becomes quite abusive (emotionally, usually, but I wouldn’t put it past her to become physically abusive, as well) if she doesn’t, so everyone gives in. She expected that or the fact that she was older than me to make me fold in the face of authority and come over to her side.  Read more…

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May 10th, 2012 2 comments


“You don’t want to know. I’m in the bathroom! YOU DON’T ASK ‘What?’ WHEN SOMEONE SAYS ‘HOLY CRAP!’ IN THE BATHROOM!!!”

“Well, I thought maybe you looked in the toilet and angels were singing, or something.”

“Yeah, I pooped Baby Jesus out my butt.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s blasphemy.”

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More randomness.

October 18th, 2011 Comments off

Me: Fucker!
Master: I would if she’d stop breathing!


Me (giggling as He tries to kiss me): I can’t take you seriously. You just told me I have to die before you’ll fuck me.

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