Posts Tagged ‘punishment’

Obey or Leave: When the Dynamic Changes

September 3rd, 2011 3 comments

I always forget how cathartic it is to wash a sink full of dishes by hand. Or how good it feels when I look around my kitchen and see it clean when I’m finished.

As I stand at the sink, I go over everything good, bad and indifferent that has happened recently and figure out how I feel about it.

“It seems like you don’t want to be a slave anymore.” and “You don’t do anything slavelike anymore.” have been heard more than a few times. I’m kinda having a hard time with it. The fact that this is something that happens once every few months or so, and never completely goes away makes it incredibly hard on both of us. The fact that it happens less and less frequently is little comfort. Read more…

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30 Days of Kink: First Kinky Experience

December 6th, 2010 2 comments

30 Days of KinkFor the rest of this series, and links to others who have participated, click here.

Full prompt: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

I don’t really remember my first (or second, or third) kinky experience, which is probably good, since it was sort of forced on me by my ex long before I ever had a name for this thing we do.  I hear forced (or coerced) kink can occasionally turn people off to the whole thing, and I’m really glad it didn’t have that affect on me.

I’ve probably written about my first kinky experience with M before, and I really don’t have a whole lot to say about it except it was hot, and it was painful, and my enjoyment far outweighed my regret for having done something to deserve being spanked.  And it was more than apparent that I was too much of a masochist to be spanked with a belt as punishment.  The tears streaking down my cheeks were chased away by embarrassed giggles and wet thighs.  And the spanking was followed with a blow job.  I think.  Maybe a bit of vaginal penetration, too.  That was eight years ago, man!

There’s something about the first experience, though, that sets the whole tone for the rest of your kinky career.  For example, M held back, but only barely.  There was no warm-up, since it was supposed to be punishment.  He just came out of the gate swinging, and I counted to fifteen, or fifty, or whatever it was, and when He was done, He was all “You need to suck my cock, now.  I’d fuck you, but that was supposed to be punishment.  Maybe next time, I can beat you for fun.” So maybe there wasn’t vaginal penetration, after all. Hmm…

NS(K)Q: Q2 – In regards to punishment…

November 10th, 2010 1 comment

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 2:

I don’t like to punish my submissive because it hurts her, and I don’t want to hurt her. But I do need some form of corrective training for her. I’m not really sure what I want her to do for me, other than submit to me sexually. And I’m sort of lacking in the idea department. Am I a shitty dom?

No. You’re new, and you haven’t figured out what interests you yet. We were all there, once.

There aren’t any cemented rules on how to be a dominant or submissive. The general consensus on the one requirement for each is only that you should enjoy having control, or giving it up, respectively, but even that is up for debate, these days. So stop combing the worldwide web, and the alternative lifestyles section of your local public library for directions, and start experimenting with whatever sounds like it might be up your alley. It’s great to learn new techniques, but why waste time learning something you might never be interested in? Read more…

Sometimes, the approach makes all the difference.

October 12th, 2010 Comments off

Awhile back… A few years, at least.  M and I were on completely different pages when it came to pain play.

Not in the “one of us wanted it, one of us didn’t” sense.  Or even that we were interested in different levels of extremes.

Somewhere along the line, I got my wires crossed.  No matter what was going on, every time M wanted to play with me, I thought I was being punished.  I used to blame Him.  His approach was off, or He’d punished me with pain so often that I’d come to believe that was its only purpose.

I don’t think there was blame to lay.  I think at the time the pain play was hurting my feelings.  Especially when emotional sadism was involved.  This is purely speculation, though.  I never really took the time to analyze it.  Read more…

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And we’ll have fun, fun, fun…

September 13th, 2010 Comments off

…till Daddy pours the whiskey down the drain.

Ever since I was little, I’ve had a mean streak.  Not to be confused with my “sadistic tendencies”.  They’re completely different.

It’s mostly vindictive.  I don’t like hurting people emotionally.  Especially people I care about.  So, when my mean streak rears her ugly head, there’s usually a cause.

But sometimes…  Read more…

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Punishment and an Ominous Chain

August 17th, 2010 4 comments

I got in trouble today.  Apparently, there is such a thing as “too much joking around”.  Who knew?

I shouldn’t be so glib.  I did learn a valuable lesson today, even if, on the surface, it sounds a little silly.  But my way of dealing with just about everything is tomfoolery and jokes.

What happened:

M grabs my boobs a lot.  Like… a lot, a lot.

I mean, I’ve always had oversensitive nipples, but since I’ve been with Him, they’re like… permanently hard, and the breeze makes me want to cum in my panties.  That I’m not wearing.  ANYway… Read more…