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Posts Tagged ‘pipedream products’

How The Kathleen Hale Stalking Situation Affects Sex Bloggers

October 24th, 2014 7 comments

Ian Sane / Flickr

Ian Sane / Flickr

I was going to ignore Kathleen Hale’s Guardian piece because it doesn’t affect me. I don’t do many book reviews (though I’m working on three, right now), I don’t often read young adult novels, and now that I know Kathleen Hale is a psycho, I’ll never read or review one of her books, so I have nothing to worry about, right?

You’d think so, except…we haven’t had an issue exactly like this (that I’m aware) in the adult reviewing community, but a few companies have come damn close.

A representative from Pipedream once attacked an EdenFantasys reviewer (I think on the EdenFantasys website, but I can’t remember) for giving their product a critical review. EdenFantasys response (against recommendations made by its community-members-turned-staff) was to instruct reviewers to be more objective in reviews of toys they didn’t like. A few years later, GoodVibes has taken the same stance, calling critical reviews “sex negative” because they don’t take into consideration other people’s bodies, which, to me, sounds more like “your experience only matters if it makes us money” than concern for a person who doesn’t cum like a critical reviewer, but that’s just me.

Shiri Zinn has threatened and harassed reviewers and non-reviewers for multiple reasons, most of which include (but are not limited to) making critical comments and/or writing critical reviews about her shitty Cupcake Vibrator. She’s managed to talk such a big game that even mainstream publications that reviewed the toy (which shall remain nameless) “kept it classy” in their reviews, and avoided words like “orgasm” and “masturbation” to pander to Shiri’s “brand” of…chaste female stimulation. With a cupcake. I’m really not sure how this makes sense to anyone. Read more…

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Product Review: Fetish Fantasy Zipper Head Hood by Pipedream Products

July 16th, 2010 3 comments

Ooo, what’s that?

This is the Fetish Fantasy Zipper Head Hood by Pipedream Products.  And oh my, did it scare the bejesus out of me when I requested it.

What’d it come in?

See that box in the picture? Yeah, that’s what it came in.

How’s it made?

Y’all, I measured my head for this one.  And I have a pretty big head.  It’s 23″ around at the brow line.

You have to all measure your heads, now, so I can compare and see if my head’s really as massive as I think. ~nods~

On the real, though, this mask is actually decently sized.  It’s made of black lycra with a metal zipper at the mouth and metal snaps to hold the blindfold on.  It’s about eleven (I typed “elvan” first) inches at its widest point, and about thirteen inches from top to bottom.  And it has two eye holes underneath the blindfold that are stitched together in the middle.  Read more…

Product Review: Portable Pleasures Petz Platypus by Pipedream Products

August 13th, 2009 Comments off
Click photos for larger view!

Click photos for larger view!

I know you’re dying to know.  Of all the sex toys in the world, why did I choose a platypus? Well, here it is:

M’s a goofy bastard.  No, really.  One of the silliest things He does is make a duck face and say, “I’m a duck-billed Melenpus.  Quack.”  Then He’ll try to kiss me with His duck lips.  A lot of squealing ensues and it’s usually all out war for about ten minutes.

It’s a sentimental thing.  Plus, how can you say no to those heart-shaped eyes?

The Portable Pleasures Petz Platypus came with a clear blue, platypus-shaped jelly sleeve, a separate waterproof plastic bullet, strawberry flavored lube and toy cleaner.  It’s packaged in a handled plastic box sporting all four of the Petz on bright pink 4PPackagingcardboard.

I figure I can carry it with me to the beach in its little box and people will think it’s a toy for my kid.  Course, they’ll be wondering where my kid is.

First things first, I tasted the lube and rubbed it between my fingers.  I don’t know if any of you ever ate those Squeeze Pop lollipops, but the lube tastes like one of those.  And the consistency isn’t much different.  Sticky sweet.  Good for a blow job, or maybe lip gloss, but penetration? Not so much.

4PAllThe toy cleaner seems to work nicely, but I’m not fond of the packaging.  It’s a plastic tube with a twist off top you push back in to close and it leaks.  Not so much that it’s a problem just laying there.  But I’d be careful to store it somewhere the lid won’t be knocked out and it won’t get squished.

And speaking of cleaning, the toy cleaner this comes with is perfect for washing this toy down.  Or you can use a little liquid antibacterial soap and water.  No bleach/water solution or silicone lube for this guy, though.  Sorry toy sharers.

4PSizingM loaded the batteries into the bullet and turned the dial.  “You can see it spin!” He exclaimed as the bullet leaped to life.  Sure enough, the shaft of the bullet is clear blue plastic and you can see how it works inside.

Without the jelly sleeve, the bullet is quieter than the WWV and Old Faithful.  While, oddly enough, it’s a little louder inside the sleeve, I still found it to be quieter than the other two.

It’s tiny.  About 2 1/2″ long.  A lot smaller than I was expecting it to be.  I don’t always carry 4PFrontViewa bag, but  I could slide the bullet in my pocket and none would be the wiser.  The sleeve I’d wear on my finger and pretend it’s a finger puppet.  I’m just odd enough to pull it off.

The toy is the perfect size to tease both the clit and the opening of your vagina simultaneously.  Obviously, it’s not much good for penetration, being so small, but the vibrator teasing along the inner labia is divine.

I’m learning, more and more, that I am just not suited to start on high when it comes to adult toys. But I ended up there with the platypus.  And if I’d have had time and the inclination, the first time I tried it, I have no doubt that it would have been my first ever set of one-after-another orgasms.  For some reason, instead of going straight into oversensitivity afterward, I was ready to cum again.

4PSideViewWould I recommend this toy? No. Not now, not ever. Jelly is porous and often contains chemicals that can cause chemical burns, cancer, infections. And mine melted into a puddle of goo. At the time, I was still storing all my toys in the same box, so I was super glad I stored it in a Ziploc. It would have ruined everything I owned otherwise.

Edited March 15th, 2016