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Posts Tagged ‘personal’

Apparently, we’re not moving again.

June 12th, 2017 2 comments

Just an update on the moving sitch because I know you don’t all follow me on Twitter, and who goes back to an old post to look for edits? Not me! So it was kinda rude of me to expect you to do that. Sorry.

As it turns out, the landlord’s SIL did not get fired, and in fact, the new owner of the motel she works at is building her and her family a whole new house.

I don’t know if this is a thing everywhere, but out here in the country, in Central NY, a lot of the motels have a big house where the owner or manager lives with their family, and then a separate building that has all the rooms. I’m not sure of all the details, so my understanding of it is fuzzy at best, but I guess there was an old house next to the motel she worked at, and the new owner started tearing it down. Instead of talking to the new owner to ask what was going on, she freaked out, and started looking for a new place to live. And when she couldn’t find one within her budget, she went to her sister and asked if they could move here.

Fast forward a few months, and she finally goes to talk to the new owner, and he tells her that they’ve torn down the old house because they’re building a modernized house for her and her family; one that will be better suited to her children (who both have degenerative eye disorders) and her 80-year-old mother-in-law.

So basically, EVERYONE freaked out for no reason. Them, the landlords, us. Read more…

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Apparently, we’re moving again.

May 17th, 2017 Comments off

Edited at 9:15pm: Landlord just called. WE DON’T HAVE TO MOVE!

We were recently told we’re probably going to have to move. It probably serves me right for being so braggadocios about the location, but I’m not even sorry.

What I am is pissed. And sad. And stressed the fuck out.

The landlord told us two days before I went in for breast cancer screening, and a few days after we found out that M has gum disease so severe that the dentist is extremely concerned about his health, and needs $10,000 in oral surgery (our insurance covers $1,000). And the next day, our car broke.

Three or four months ago, I found a lump in my breast, and I ignored it because I’ve had lumps before, and they went away. This one didn’t go away. In fact, it got larger. Eventually, I told M, and tried to get an appointment to be seen, and that day was so fucking frustrating that I pretty much cried and screamed all day.

I lost count of how many doctors I called.

My primary care physician refused to see me for the lump until I had a physical done because my last one was in 2015, and she didn’t have any physical appointments open until May. I called her around the end of March. Because catching breast cancer early is so important, I really wanted to punch her in the face. Like, seriously. Like, I’ve never wanted to punch someone so bad in my life. I won’t be seeing that doctor again. Not even if she’s the only doctor left on the planet. Read more…

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If it weren’t for bad luck…

January 20th, 2017 1 comment

Last week was absolute hell. It extended into this week, and I 100% wanted to shoot someone.

Okay. That’s a lie. I never actually want to shoot someone. Or stab someone. Or punch someone (unless they punched me first). I should probably stop saying it.

It started with the propane/oil company. I called them on Thursday (1/5) to set up a tank fill because we were on 1/8 of a tank. I probably shouldn’t have waited that long, but we have 30 days to pay the bill, and we knew it would be a lot of money that we wouldn’t be able to pay until M got paid, so we wanted to make sure we’d have plenty of time.

When I called, the lady was all, “Oh, you need a fill soon! I’ll get that set up and we’ll be over in a couple of days.” Then the temperature dipped below 0 a couple of times over the weekend, and suddenly, it was Monday, and we were on E and they still hadn’t showed up. So I called again. And she started lecturing me about keeping a close eye on my tank like she hadn’t told me on Thursday that she would get someone out there immediately to fill it.

They offered to “try to fit you in” on Tuesday, and they managed, but by that time, the tank was empty, and we were trying to heat our house with space heaters. Read more…

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#JanuaryGoals An Update

January 6th, 2017 Comments off

This is probably not going to become a thing. I tried doing weekly updates once before, but they got redundant and annoying and blah. To me, anyway. No one else ever said as much.

But right now, I’m in a really good place mentally, and it’s a huge turn for me, and so I wanted to talk about where I’m at before the Monthly Monster drags me down into the bottomless pit of despair like it always does. I can already feel it tugging at the edges of my mind, trying to make me question myself, so I gotta make this fast!

Of the last 10 days, I’ve missed 4 days of exercise. All of them intentional.

I refuse to apologize for the first three because it was the last Friday of 2016, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day. My excuse is boooooooooooooooze. Plus, I wasn’t really planning on hitting it hard until the new year, anyway. New year, new start, and all that jazz.

I know a lot of people have been bashing the fuck out of the “new year, new start” crowd, lately, but I don’t give a fuck. It’s becoming a really helpful coping mechanism for me, especially in light of 2016 being such a shit year. I’ve made some bad decisions. I’ve done some fucked up shit. I don’t even know who all I hurt/owe apologies to.

But that was the old me. That was 2016 me. 2017 me will be better. Read more…

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Treading Water

December 8th, 2016 1 comment

From the summer of 2014 until 2016, I went through a bit of an existential crisis.

I hate admitting that. I hate everything about that.

I hate that it’s lasted so long. I hate that I feel like I lost myself somewhere. I hate that I for sure took it out on other people. I hate that I allowed it to make me even more flakey than I already am. I hate that I allowed it to make me retreat into myself with no explanation to any of the people (or companies) I care about.

I hate that I’m not 100% sure it’s over.

Over the past year, I’ve spent the majority of my time buried in politics and social justice (which you know if you follow me on Twitter). I’ve lost a lot of readers, and a lot of reach because so many people came to me strictly for sex and kink advice, and I have mostly stopped posting that literally everywhere you can find me.

And at first, I was mad about it.

I have never and will never be a one dimensional person. Read more…

Finding Happiness in the Differences

October 25th, 2016 Comments off

screen-shot-2016-10-25-at-2-24-11-pmAt the old place, everything was different. The power company, the garbage company, the appliances, the atmosphere. To quote my dad, years ago, when we moved from Schenectady to Scotia, “This place just has a whole different personality.”

It’s true.

While it is home to Union College (a school notorious for its wealthy students) and Proctors Theatre (a historic theater that offers off-broadway shows), Schenectady1 is not inhabited by many people with an income over $30,000 a year. The per capita income is estimated at $17.1 thousand, and the median household income is estimated at $37.4 thousand. Honestly, I think that’s generous. Most of the people I know who live there make far less than that.

With poverty, comes stress. With stress, comes a bad attitude. It’s normal. Expected, even. But when you live in a town full of bad attitudes, it’s hard to not let that bad attitude rub off on you. Especially if you already have issues with anger, anxiety, and depression, like I do. Read more…