Gandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 58:

My wife and I have been talking about opening up our relationship. The idea is rather tempting. There’s nothing wrong with our relationship, currently, we just thought it might be fun to try swinging, and then, if we like that, maybe just opening it up fully. But I follow these people on Twitter who are in the middle of a divorce. They opened up their relationship, and it ended the relationship. Both of them insist that this is a positive thing. That they would have stayed in a miserable relationship forever if they hadn’t opened the relationship. But I’m not in a miserable relationship. I’m in a great relationship and I don’t want to ruin it.

So give it to me straight. How often does an open relationship kill a marriage? Should I just back out? I don’t want to ruin my wife’s fun, but I’d rather that than lose her. What should I do?

So obviously, I can’t give you specific statistics on how many marriages end in divorce because the couple decided to open their relationship. And if I could, I wouldn’t be able to tell you how many of those relationships were rock solid before they opened their relationship. Partly because people just aren’t that honest with themselves and each other, but also because those statistics just don’t exist. Read more…

Gandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 42:

I’ve been married for thirty years, give or take a few. You hear all these stereotypes about how men are insanely sexual creatures, some even needing multiple partners to sate their appetites, but my husband is just not. In the past ten years, we’ve had sex twice, and I initiated both times. We’ve talked about it till we’re blue in the face, and nothing’s ever changed. Masturbation’s just not fun anymore. I really long for the touch of another. And since reading your site, I’ve realized I’m really turned on by some of the things you get up to. But I think I’m more of a switch. I’m so confused, and kinda resentful, and I’ve got no idea where to go from here. I’ve begun to look elsewhere, and I’m wondering…should I be talking to my husband about this? Halp!

Uhm…yeah?

I’m not trying to be a dick, here, but if you’re in a relationship in which one person believes the relationship is monogamous, and you’re considering seeking attention elsewhere, the first person who knows that should always be your partner. No matter what. You owe him that much. Read more…