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Posts Tagged ‘novice kinksters’

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 10 – Bedroom Submissive

August 19th, 2013 2 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 10:

I’m REALLY new to the whole BDSM thing and in fact, don’t know that I qualify as someone practicing or wanting to practice.

I’m married to an amazing husband and we have a phenomenal sex life – but I have an appetite that exceeds his when it comes to sex. Recently, we decided that as long as I told him about it, he was fine with me being with other people. As it happens, around the same time, friends of mine – who are married and amazing both made separate advances on me and I’ve begun relationships with both of them. The wife is a soft and wonderful lover just discovering what she likes and we have a good time finding out together. The husband though – oh, the husband.

The first time we were together without his wife, he was more aggressive than he was with her there – and I LOVED it. He told me later he’d never done anything like that before (mild spanking etc.) but was beyond excited that I liked it. I was ASTOUNDED by how much I liked it – and as time’s progressed, we’ve progressed in our adventurousness. I guess my (longwinded) question is: Can you be a submissive on occasion? Can you be a submissive to someone who is not your life partner and who you have no desire to be your life partner? Can you be submissive only in the bedroom but quite the opposite when out and about?

Yes.

There are all sorts of different types of kinky relationship builds. From the simplest monogamous couple who takes turns spanking and tormenting each other in the bedroom, to the most complex polyamorous family who has a very specific hierarchy for each specific relationship. Read more…

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 9 – But that’s cheating!

August 12th, 2013 1 comment

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 9:

Isn’t “polyamory” just another word for cheating?

Well…

I guess that depends on how you look at it.

What do you mean?

Always with the questions, this one.

What polyamory is:

Polyamory is an agreed upon arrangement between partners that allows for including other people in the relationship in some way. Read more…

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 17 – Topping from the Bottom

August 8th, 2013 3 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 17:

Everyone’s always talking about “topping from the bottom”, and how a submissive should never do it. There are things I feel I need, but I’m afraid to ask for them because I don’t want to be a “bad submissive” and disappoint my top. What is topping from the bottom and how do I avoid it?

I get so tired of hearing this phrase. Mostly because the first time I heard it, it was from a bunch of catty submissive women on IRC sitting in a private room for “the elite” going on and on about this slave or that slave who isn’t really a slave because she tops from the bottom all the time. Read more…

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 7 – Difference of Opinion

August 5th, 2013 1 comment

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 7:

What if my significant other isn’t into BDSM?

Well… Now… That’s a right special kind of a pickle, isn’t it?

First.. are you sure your significant other isn’t into it? Or is it just that you assume they aren’t, and haven’t asked? Cause dude, seriously? If you haven’t even discussed it, you might be sadly mistaken. And there’s nothing worse than a misunderstanding based on assumptions.

Okay, there’s plenty worse, but they suck, just the same.

I know… I know! You think you know your SO ten ways from Sunday, and no one can tell you anything about them you don’t already know… Except them. So if you haven’t discussed it, do! You might just be surprised. Read more…

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 4 – Aging Slaves

July 29th, 2013 4 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 4:

Slaves, just like everyone else, get old. They get sick. If they give up everything, who takes care of them in these times? What if the relationship ends, or the owner dies? And here’s this slave, who hasn’t had a job in years, thrust back into society, and pretty much unhireable.

A lot of people scoff at these questions. I mean, people have survived break-ups and partner deaths since the beginning of time, and society has ways of dealing with aging humans. But let me be honest with you, and tell you that this is one of my biggest fears, and I’m not, by any means, a novice.

I’m thirty years old, and I’ve been rough on my body. I have persistent tendinitis in more than one joint. In the ones I don’t, I’ve got arthritis. I’m working on a good case of carpal tunnel syndrome, what with all the typing I do. My mental illnesses might get worse, not better, when I’m young enough to retire. (You like what I did there, huh?) Especially if I develop dementia, which runs in my family, along with type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and breast cancer. And I have a severe irrational fear of doctors and nurses and paramedics and… Notice that I do admit that I know it’s irrational. Knowing that is little comfort, and I’ll still suffer through tremendous amounts of pain, and illness, before finally giving in, and visiting a clinic. Read more…

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 15 – The Doctor

October 30th, 2011 1 comment

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 15:

Everyone knows that doctors and nurses are mandated reporters, and I’ve got a physical just around the corner. I thought these damn bruises would be healed by then, but it doesn’t look like they’re going away! What on Earth can I tell the doc without having to watch my S.O. be whisked out the door in cuffs?

Well, first things first: Don’t bring your S.O.

I know. If I suggested I go to the doctor without Master, He’d ask me if I have something to hide. You see, one of the first things he took from me when I gave Him complete ownership of me was my privacy. I don’t think I’ve been to a single appointment without Him.  Read more…