No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 10 – Bedroom Submissive
Gandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.
Question 10:
I’m REALLY new to the whole BDSM thing and in fact, don’t know that I qualify as someone practicing or wanting to practice.
I’m married to an amazing husband and we have a phenomenal sex life – but I have an appetite that exceeds his when it comes to sex. Recently, we decided that as long as I told him about it, he was fine with me being with other people. As it happens, around the same time, friends of mine – who are married and amazing both made separate advances on me and I’ve begun relationships with both of them. The wife is a soft and wonderful lover just discovering what she likes and we have a good time finding out together. The husband though – oh, the husband.
The first time we were together without his wife, he was more aggressive than he was with her there – and I LOVED it. He told me later he’d never done anything like that before (mild spanking etc.) but was beyond excited that I liked it. I was ASTOUNDED by how much I liked it – and as time’s progressed, we’ve progressed in our adventurousness. I guess my (longwinded) question is: Can you be a submissive on occasion? Can you be a submissive to someone who is not your life partner and who you have no desire to be your life partner? Can you be submissive only in the bedroom but quite the opposite when out and about?
Yes.
There are all sorts of different types of kinky relationship builds. From the simplest monogamous couple who takes turns spanking and tormenting each other in the bedroom, to the most complex polyamorous family who has a very specific hierarchy for each specific relationship. Read more…