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Posts Tagged ‘masochist’

NS(K)Q: Q48 – Cumming Kills the Party

February 20th, 2015 1 comment

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 48:

I know you say there are no stupid questions, but I feel like this is a REALLY stupid question.

I’m the Dom, and I’ve been doing D/s with my wife (of several years) for several months now, and I always have the same problem.

I’m a sadist and I really love to work on her. I love bondage and humiliation and she gets off on both. The problem is that after I come, I turn into a peacenik; I just can’t bring myself to hit or hurt or command or demand. If my sub is in predicament when I come, I instinctively rip her out of it like I’m rescuing her from Snively Whiplash. It’s a real scene killer.

How do I keep the kink going post-orgasm? Writing it out like this makes it seem silly, but it really is starting to be an issue.

Actually, this is pretty common. For many (top or bottom), sadomasochistic fantasies are wholly driven by sexual desire. Once that sexual desire is fulfilled, many find they’re no longer interested, or are embarrassed or ashamed by their fantasies. Read more…

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Visiting a Pro Domme and public play

January 13th, 2012 2 comments

In the last month or so, I’ve had some experiences that have led me to do some thinking.  People in the lifestyle who know me, know that I currently see myself as a masochist.  I enjoy letting certain people inflict various types of pain on me.  I’m still in the process of figuring out just what I enjoy and don’t.  Since I’ve moved to Australia, thanks to being in smaller towns only, I’ve been unable to indulge my proclivities.  All that changed in December.

The first of the three experiences that relate together and to this article is watching a TV program.  I don’t recall the name, but it was a look at prostitution, as practiced in various places in the world.  The key points that I took from the program was that even in places where it is legal, the attitude towards women who work in the sex industry is pretty bad.  They’re viewed as somehow being lesser people, soiled, if you will.  In fact, it seemed like women who chose to do it legally were looked down on more so than those who found themselves in the profession by force or lack of options.  Read more…

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Obey or Leave: When the Dynamic Changes

September 3rd, 2011 3 comments

I always forget how cathartic it is to wash a sink full of dishes by hand. Or how good it feels when I look around my kitchen and see it clean when I’m finished.

As I stand at the sink, I go over everything good, bad and indifferent that has happened recently and figure out how I feel about it.

“It seems like you don’t want to be a slave anymore.” and “You don’t do anything slavelike anymore.” have been heard more than a few times. I’m kinda having a hard time with it. The fact that this is something that happens once every few months or so, and never completely goes away makes it incredibly hard on both of us. The fact that it happens less and less frequently is little comfort. Read more…

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Observations I’ve Made Based on M’s “Jokes”

May 18th, 2011 Comments off

This was actually written a couple weeks ago, and isn’t quite as relevant now as it was then. I’ve got a couple posts in the works that are more relevant to how things are going now. In the meantime, I thought something was better than nothing. Right?

When I get out of line, but it’s out of character with how I’ve been behaving lately, M has a tendency to make wisecracks about my behavior rather than reprimanding me. At least to start. If I don’t catch on, He reprimands. If I still don’t change my behavior, He punishes. These are some observations I’ve made about my behavior based on His “jokes”. Read more…

30DoK: Define Your Kinky Self by Jade

January 17th, 2011 Comments off

Jade

Rayne’s been bugging everyone for a guest post defining their kinky selves for the writing project Thirty Days of Kink. Next up, Jade of Pieces of Jade.

From Jade’s Bio: I am what you see here…and yet so much more.  These are just pieces of me, of who I am and what I do.

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

As Scarlet Lotus says in her first 30 Days of Kink post, much of what I have been writing about all along in my blog has been about just that: discovering who I am in kink, musing on where I’ve been, talking about where I am now, exploring where I’m going. It’s been, and continues to be, a wild ride.

I’ve been practicing BDSM for about 10 years now, off and on, and in those years have learned much about myself and what makes me tick, and yet I am still learning, all the time, and it is still hard to pin just one label on myself. Read more…

Saying Goodbye to 2010

December 31st, 2010 1 comment

I won’t ever be able to do last night justice. We fucked until 5am.

My thighs are swollen and various shades of red, purple, blue and black, and my jaw is sore. My clit hurts so bad that M’s tongue on it last night felt like teeth. And today, though it aches with desire, His fingers brushing against it feels like He brought the crop down on the tender flesh. My entire body is exhausted.

God, and now I want to cum. Read more…

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