Posts Tagged ‘masochism’

Kinktionary: Paraphilia

January 25th, 2017 Comments off

A paraphilia is an unhealthy obsession with an object, behavior, or sexual act, usually involving another person’s psychological or physical distress. Often socially unacceptable behavior or “sexual deviance” are categorized as paraphilias. Some paraphilias can be vary dangerous, while others are deemed unacceptable based on society’s ever changing moral code. Though many resources have not updated their definitions (like Merriam-Webster, for example), masochism and sadism are no longer considered paraphilas by those in the mental health field. Some things that are still included are cannibalism, sexual assault, pedophilia, snuff, and bestiality.

Paraphilias are not to be confused with fetishes.

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Kinktionary: Flogger

March 3rd, 2016 1 comment

FloggerComparisonDue to their versatility, floggers are probably the most popular whips among sadists and masochists alike. Often referred to as a “cat of nine tails,” a flogger is a whip that usually has a rigid handle and at least nine “tails” or “falls” that are used to whip the bottom of the scene.

Generally speaking, floggers fall on the lower end of the pain spectrum, usually producing a more thuddy sensation. Of course, this depends on the material they’re made of, the weight and width of the falls, and whether the tips are cut at an angle or straight across. A rubber flogger with angled tips will sting like the dickens, whereas a leather flogger with blunt tips will feel more like a percussion massage.

How a flogger feels also depends a great deal on the person doing the whipping. A more experienced top will be better able to control their aim and the strength of the blow, which can enhance the way a flogger is feels to the bottom a great deal. Read more…

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Kinktionary: Pain Slut

July 31st, 2015 Comments off

I couldn't find an image that conveyed 'pain slut', so you get an old picture of my bruised ass. =D

I couldn’t find an image that conveyed ‘pain slut’, so you get an old picture of my bruised ass. =D

A pain slut, put simply, is someone who derives sexual pleasure from pain inflicted on their person. The level of pain a self-identified ‘pain slut’ enjoys varies person to person, but generally speaking, to be considered a pain slut by others, one must fall a little more on the extreme side.

A pain slut can identify with any gender (or no gender), sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc.), or kinky persuasion (top, bottom, switch, etc.).

Self-identifying as a pain slut is not an invitation for pain to be inflicted on the person by anyone at any time. As with all things kinky and sexual, one must first gain a person’s consent before causing them pain in a BDSM setting.

See: Masochism.

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Kinktionary: Masochism

February 20th, 2015 Comments off


You can find the vid to go with this image at

One of the words referenced in the acronym “BDSM“.

Masochism is gaining pleasure, sexual or otherwise, from having pain inflicted on your person. Masochism has many levels, some of which are unhealthy. However, masochism by itself is no longer considered a mental defect by the medical community, and was omitted from The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Masochism, as it pertains to BDSM, is the enjoyment of having pain inflicted on your body with your full knowledge and consent, and sometimes your direction. A masochist may enjoy physical or emotional pain, or both. They usually derive some sort of sexual gratification from the act, but they don’t always.

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NS(K)Q: Q47 – Dominant Guilt

January 30th, 2015 4 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 47:

My girlfriend and I have been together over four years. Coming into the relationship, we knew that we had each been in D/s relationships previously, and actively practiced our kinks. As time went on, I’ve begun to feel even more submissive to her but she has been less dominant. She says that she still enjoys it but finds it hard to dominate or release her sadist nature because she “loves me too much and feels like she’s hurting me after a scene”. When she does let her Dom/Sadist nature out, it’s FANTASTIC until her second thoughts kick in. What can I do to help her get past this, to see that she’s not hurting me but giving me exactly what I need?

Your girlfriend’s reaction is not an uncommon one. From very young ages, we’re taught not to hurt those we love intentionally, so it’s only natural to feel a bit guilty after hurting our romantic partner…and enjoying it.

There are lots of things you can do to help her get through this. Here’s just a few to get you started: Read more…

I hate that fucking paddle.

January 6th, 2015 4 comments

We’ve got this paddle from MauiKink. It’s a really awesome paddle. Sturdy, well made, beautiful.

And I fucking hate it.

I didn’t always, just like I didn’t always have a practically virginal ass.

When it first arrived on our doorstep, I was pretty much in love. Either my pain tolerance was higher back then, or Master was nicer. I’m thinking it’s probably the former. M’s always been a bastard.

This weekend, Master shoved me over the side of the bed, and then picked up the Frat Bat. By the second wallop, I was ready to snatch it from his hands and show him what it felt like. I reared up off the bed, fisted my hands in the comforter, tried with everything in me not to move my ass.

At least half the reason he usually ties me up when he beats me is I’ve never been all that good at mental bondage.

The sex was amazing. The paddle sucked.

In the morning, he rolled over and said, “You were a good girl last night.”

I smiled. We kissed and cuddled for a few minutes. And then I said, “I hate that fucking paddle.”

He smiled. We kissed and cuddled some more. And he said, “Then I guess I just have to use it till you love it. You will, you know.”


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