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NS(K)Q: Q37 – What advice would you give to a n00b?

October 21st, 2014 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 37:

I’m pretty new to this whole thing. I have no idea what anything means. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for, really. What advice do you have for a n00b like me?

Wow. I could write you a novel. But I’ll try to keep it short and simple.

1. Research. Whether you pick up some books on kink, or Google BDSM, make sure you know what you’re getting into.

That sounds so ominous, but diving headlong into bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism can get someone hurt if they don’t have a cursory knowledge of what they’re doing. Learn about the many known fetishes, relationship dynamics, labels, toys. Maybe watch some porn that shows people participating in things you think you’ll enjoy. Read more…

Pick me, Kink Academy! Please?

September 29th, 2010 2 comments

Part of the reason I’m sort of disappointed in M’s lack of interest in socializing with… well, anyone, really… is the learning experience.  Discussing different techniques, and trying new things, and sometimes things we’d never be able to try at home, and hands on experience, and… I mean, gosh! Doesn’t that just sound awesome?

I mean, yeah… M’s owned my ass for almost eight years.  We’ve got nine floggers, six paddles, two canes, two crops, a buggy whip, a strap, and a viper’s tongue.  Restraints, and hoods, and gags, and blindfolds.  Rope, and chains, and anal plugs, and clamps, and sex toys out the wazoo.

But you know what we don’t got? Skillz.  Read more…