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Ida’s Diary

October 13th, 2015 3 comments

Today I saw this: An Interview with Ida of ‘Ida’s Diary’, a New Film About Borderline Personality Disorder. I watched the short and it was a serious “aha!” moment. I started crying because seeing someone else going through and explaining things similar to what I deal with felt like having my heart ripped out and held before my eyes.

I haven’t seen the entire film, but I plan to rectify that as soon as possible.

I have so many things I want to say, but I’ve reached the point in my mental cycle where words feel like knives. I want to bury my head in a game, crank Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz, or Rob Thomas’s The Great Unknown, or Halestorm’s Into the Wild Life in my headphones, and tune out the world. Their words don’t feel like knives. Their words feel like hands soothing the ache in my stomach that I first noticed when I was four.

I avoid talking about my mental illness. With most everyone. And when it comes right down to it, it’s because…well, Ida said it herself. People don’t tell cancer patients to just pull themselves together. Read more…