Posts Tagged ‘humiliation play’

NS(K)Q: Q43 – Humiliation Techniques for Beginners

December 18th, 2014 2 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 43:

I’ve recently entered into a d/s relationship, and I’m looking for some good humiliation techniques for beginners.

So this one’s a little difficult because when it comes to emotional sadomasochism (which, in a sense, is what humiliation play is), it’s hard to know what’s going to trigger a reaction we don’t want unless one or both of the people involved are experienced in humiliation play. This is just one of the many reasons that open, honest communication is so important in kink. Read more…

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 34 – What if I don’t like S&M?

September 23rd, 2014 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 34:

I’m really interested in being a dominant/submissive/switch. I have quite a few fetishes, but hurting someone/being hurt is not one of them. What if I don’t like S&M? Does that mean I can’t dominate/submit/switch?

Nope. And to be honest, dominating and submitting without S&M can be just as beautiful and require a great deal more creativity. Read more…

Melen’s Birthday Questions Answered! (Part 1)

October 17th, 2013 2 comments
M plays around with 3D graphic programs from time to time. This is one of the fractals he's made. Click to enlarge.

M plays around with 3D graphic programs from time to time. This is one of the fractals he’s made. Click to enlarge.

Here are some answers to some of the questions you asked Melen for his birthday giveaway!

Camryn asked:

Why do you believe women should be submissive to men?

This is a difficult question to answer. At least in the beginning, it was upbringing and religion. I was brought up that the man was the bread winner and that the woman handled the children and the house. Wives obeyed their husbands and all of that. Obviously, that isn’t very realistic these days, for many reasons, not the least of which is that many families (couples, or whatnot) can’t survive on only one paycheck.

I guess now it’s just part of my “kink”. I’m a heterosexual male, a bit of a sadist and control freak. So, for me, women being submissive fits into my view of life.

This question is deserving of an entire post, after much thought on how to present what I’m thinking. I will say this, tho. I don’t have a problem with male submissives. I do not think all men are dominant and all women are submissive. I have never had a problem with a woman as a boss, as long as she’s qualified. I have no issues with working with a woman as an equal, outside of the bedroom anyway.

As with most things, my opinion is constantly evolving. Read more…

Categories: Melen Tags:

30DoK: Define Your Kinky Self by Jade

January 17th, 2011 Comments off


Rayne’s been bugging everyone for a guest post defining their kinky selves for the writing project Thirty Days of Kink. Next up, Jade of Pieces of Jade.

From Jade’s Bio: I am what you see here…and yet so much more.  These are just pieces of me, of who I am and what I do.

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

As Scarlet Lotus says in her first 30 Days of Kink post, much of what I have been writing about all along in my blog has been about just that: discovering who I am in kink, musing on where I’ve been, talking about where I am now, exploring where I’m going. It’s been, and continues to be, a wild ride.

I’ve been practicing BDSM for about 10 years now, off and on, and in those years have learned much about myself and what makes me tick, and yet I am still learning, all the time, and it is still hard to pin just one label on myself. Read more…

Short and Simple

March 24th, 2010 2 comments

I need to destress.  That’s no joke.  I don’t even know what I’m stressed about.

I spend the better part of my days staring off into space.  Or clicking the Stumble button over and over.  And over.  Without even pausing to really see what I’m looking at.  I barely take half a second to read anything before flitting away to read something else.  I never, ever read anything all the way through.  If something doesn’t grab my attention somehow, I won’t even attempt to become interested.  And it all feels like avoidance.

Avoidance? What could I possibly be avoiding? I’ll get back to you on that, cause really, I have no clue.

M and I are rarely in sync these days.  When I’m in a good mood, He’s not, and vice versa.  The same goes for sex, pain play, humiliation play, temperature, tiredness, and so on.  It’s like someone scrambled one of us.  It’s probably because my period’s coming, and the last one was ridiculously mild.  I’m not allowed mild periods, and in the rare event that I get one, I pay for them dearly.

The cool thing for Him (and not so cool thing for me… sometimes) is that I don’t have to be in the same mood as Him for Him to do what He wants.  I bet it gets tiring, though, having to drag me, kicking and screaming, to whatever place He happens to be in.

All that’s from yesterday.  Yesterday I was in a shit mood.  Today started out good, but being tired and a little hungover is steadily killing that.  And it’s only 9:40.  It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

M decided the remedy to my shit mood, yesterday, was a beating and some sex.  Works for me! Maybe my steadily declining mood will get me bent over His desk today.  That would be hot.

I’ve not been in a writing mood.  Can you tell? There are probably a million and one reasons.  Right now, we’ll just leave it at “I’m not in a writing mood.”

Categories: Rayne Tags:

Tuesday Night – His Idea of Aftercare

September 17th, 2009 3 comments

I washed up and climbed in bed with Him when I could finally move again after cumming.  I’m not sure how long we were asleep or if He even fell asleep.  I was watching cop cars watch me in my dreams.

Suddenly, a fist in my hair yanked my head off the pillow and a voice thick with lust barked, “Get over here, cunt.” as He dragged my mouth to His cock.  Half-asleep, I sucked and licked and gobbled His cock as best I could.

He didn’t really fuck my mouth like He usually does.  Mostly, He just held my hair tightly in His hand and laid there.

And then He asked me if I wanted Him in my pussy.  Do women really say no to that question? If so, I’ll take yours, please and thanks.  They can come over here with M and me and we’ll have a right jolly old time.  Two holes filled is ever so better than one.  And three is over the moon.

I mean, I imagine.  The only way I’ve ever had two or three holes filled at once is with toys and M’s cock.  Which is definitely over the moon.

He came in my cunt and we washed up and went back to sleep.

Or… I did.  He apparently laid there and got horny.  Again.  Without even touching me.

I was snoring peacefully when again my face was lifted off the pillow by a fist in my hair.

“Turn your face this way, bitch.”

So I did.  And He came all over my face and in my hair.  Just like that.

“Go wash your face.”

My face? What about my HAIR?!

I tugged my cum-soaked hair into a ponytail, not even bothering to try to wash it out.  I knew that just washing that one section wouldn’t cut it for me, and if I even started fucking with it in the sink, I’d be begging to get in the shower in a matter of minutes.  And He’d say no cause He only had a couple hours to sleep before He had to start working.  And He’d revel in the fact that not only did He say no, but He had a reason for making me sleep with cum in my hair so I couldn’t really argue.

Easier to just snatch my cum-soaked hair into a ponytail than go through all that.

Not to mention He’d already gloated about me having to sleep with cum in my hair.

And told me more than once before my head finally hit the pillow again how He wished I had been facing Him so He didn’t have to wake me.  So I would wake up with some schmutz on my face and not know what it was.

Neither time was there any stimulation to my bits.  If one excludes the fact that being used as a sex toy is ridiculously hot for me.  And when He was finished, He just shoved me to the side.

That’s some major play on a girl’s psyche. 

Wait, what? You totally just came on my face and in my hair and I didn’t even get to see you jerk off? Wtf?

I was a little surprised.  And a lot turned on.  And even more humbled and humiliated.  Which was the point.

Why is it that when I know all these domination techniques – Have studied them, even! – He is still able to get to me? I dunno the answer to that.  All I know is, I hope it never changes.  I like that He’s able to get to me.