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Posts Tagged ‘glossary’

Kinktionary: Paraphilia

January 25th, 2017 Comments off

A paraphilia is an unhealthy obsession with an object, behavior, or sexual act, usually involving another person’s psychological or physical distress. Often socially unacceptable behavior or “sexual deviance” are categorized as paraphilias. Some paraphilias can be vary dangerous, while others are deemed unacceptable based on society’s ever changing moral code. Though many resources have not updated their definitions (like Merriam-Webster, for example), masochism and sadism are no longer considered paraphilas by those in the mental health field. Some things that are still included are cannibalism, sexual assault, pedophilia, snuff, and bestiality.

Paraphilias are not to be confused with fetishes.

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Kinktionary: Fetish

January 18th, 2017 Comments off

The Shoes Come Off on elaisted.com

In the vanilla world, though most have a cursory knowledge of the kink realm, the word “fetish” is often used tongue-in-cheek to describe something a person is really into. Not necessarily sexual things. I’ve heard people say they have a fetish for a color, or a fetish for a certain kind of coffee, or a fetish for a game.

Merriam-Webster defines “fetish” thusly:

  • an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
  • an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

However, a fetish isn’t always necessary for sexual gratification. Many foot fetishists, for example, can achieve orgasm and enjoy sex without including their partner’s feet. The sex is just that much better if the fetish is included.

A fetish is different from a paraphilia in that fetishes can be healthy, and paraphilias are not.

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Kinktionary: Puppy Play

January 11th, 2017 Comments off

Puppy play is when one party (or multiple parties) act and sometimes dress as a dog. During a puppy play scene, the couple (or multiple parties) may role play obedience school, doggie games like fetch, puppy training, potty training, and the like. Usually, the puppy is kept collared and leashed whether or not they’re dressed as a dog. Often, the puppy is allowed only to communicate in puppy sounds, like barks and whines.

Some couples arrange puppy play dates for their “pets.” And there are even puppy play park parties where groups of people into puppy play get together and the human puppies can engage in play with other human puppies.

Some folks won’t have sex with their partners while they are in puppy mode because they feel it is akin to bestiality. Some believe that when their partners are in puppy mode, they cannot actually give consent. Others believe it’s only role play, and incorporate puppy play into their sexuality.

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Kinktionary: Sub Frenzy

January 4th, 2017 Comments off

Sub frenzy is described as a desperate desire to be in the thick of BDSM interactions; particularly ones in which the person experiencing sub frenzy is the bottom. It’s most commonly experienced by submissive people who are new to BDSM, or haven’t been involved in BDSM activity for a while.

Sub frenzy can inspire unsafe behaviors, and has been known to cause a new submissive to jump into the deep end before they know how to swim. It is an excitement similar to New Relationship Energy, in that a submissive who has just discovered submission, and felt that click we all feel when we find something that suits us perfectly, wants to do all of the submissive things right the fuck now, kthxbai.

Sub frenzy is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can occasionally cause submissives to go overboard with trying new things, or make them appear overly eager. The best way to combat sub frenzy is to pace oneself.

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Kinktionary: Free Man

February 25th, 2016 Comments off

imagesFree man is a Gorean term for a man who is not enslaved. In the Gor books, Gor is 100% a man’s world, putting free men right smack at the top of it (beneath the Priest Kings, of course).

Slaves, regardless of gender, are expected to defer to all free men in all things, whether or not the slaves are owned by the men with whom they interact. For example, if a slave is running an errand for her owner, and a free man stops her to have his way with her, the slave has no recourse but to explain what happened and beg for her master’s mercy if she’s late in returning.

Free women are also expected to defer to free men, but their deference is different from the deference of slaves. Where as a slave is expected to follow a free man’s orders, a free woman is not. She is, however, expected to defer to a free man’s opinions and decisions.

Because of this culture, the most shameful thing a free man can do is allow himself to become enslaved. Most free men would rather die in battle than be enslaved by their conquerers because death is more honorable than being a slave.

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Kinktionary: Kajirus

February 18th, 2016 Comments off

92933-coverA kajirus is a male slave on Gor.

Male slaves are a rare find in the Gorean series. This may be due to the patriarchal culture which places male slaves below even the beasts of Gor because they’ve allowed themselves to become slaves. Men on Gor are supposed to be strong and their will unbreakable. It would be less shameful, on Gor, to die in battle than to be forced into slavery.

In the books, male slaves on Gor are usually enslaved by their conquerers in war, or as punishment for committing a crime against their city. They are usually used for hard labor, though some are employed as house servants, and some (very few) act as pleasure slaves to Free Women. It is rare to find a male slave who was abducted from Earth.

Male slaves are much more prevalent in Gorean role-play circles than they are in the books. In real life, male Gorean slaves are predominantly pleasure slaves.

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