Posts Tagged ‘fetish’

Kinktionary: Paraphilia

January 25th, 2017 Comments off

A paraphilia is an unhealthy obsession with an object, behavior, or sexual act, usually involving another person’s psychological or physical distress. Often socially unacceptable behavior or “sexual deviance” are categorized as paraphilias. Some paraphilias can be vary dangerous, while others are deemed unacceptable based on society’s ever changing moral code. Though many resources have not updated their definitions (like Merriam-Webster, for example), masochism and sadism are no longer considered paraphilas by those in the mental health field. Some things that are still included are cannibalism, sexual assault, pedophilia, snuff, and bestiality.

Paraphilias are not to be confused with fetishes.

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NS(K)Q: Q70 – How do I know?

January 23rd, 2017 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 70:

I do a lot of dating site dating. It’s just as much of a clusterfuck as you can imagine. It’s like people on dating sites think other dating site users are just sex dolls waiting around to pleasure them. And the dick pics! Ohhh the dick pics. Don’t these boys know that if we want to look at their dicks, we’ll ask? Anyway…this is how I found BDSM. One of the profiles I was looking at mentioned it, and I googled it, and now I’m really intrigued. But I don’t know what, exactly, I’m intrigued by. Like, do I want to be a domme or a sub? Do I want to be spanked or do the spanking? I DON’T KNOW!!! So that’s my question. How do I know?

The simple answer is trial and error. Read more…

Kinktionary: Fetish

January 18th, 2017 Comments off

The Shoes Come Off on

In the vanilla world, though most have a cursory knowledge of the kink realm, the word “fetish” is often used tongue-in-cheek to describe something a person is really into. Not necessarily sexual things. I’ve heard people say they have a fetish for a color, or a fetish for a certain kind of coffee, or a fetish for a game.

Merriam-Webster defines “fetish” thusly:

  • an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
  • an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

However, a fetish isn’t always necessary for sexual gratification. Many foot fetishists, for example, can achieve orgasm and enjoy sex without including their partner’s feet. The sex is just that much better if the fetish is included.

A fetish is different from a paraphilia in that fetishes can be healthy, and paraphilias are not.

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Kinktionary: Puppy Play

January 11th, 2017 Comments off

Puppy play is when one party (or multiple parties) act and sometimes dress as a dog. During a puppy play scene, the couple (or multiple parties) may role play obedience school, doggie games like fetch, puppy training, potty training, and the like. Usually, the puppy is kept collared and leashed whether or not they’re dressed as a dog. Often, the puppy is allowed only to communicate in puppy sounds, like barks and whines.

Some couples arrange puppy play dates for their “pets.” And there are even puppy play park parties where groups of people into puppy play get together and the human puppies can engage in play with other human puppies.

Some folks won’t have sex with their partners while they are in puppy mode because they feel it is akin to bestiality. Some believe that when their partners are in puppy mode, they cannot actually give consent. Others believe it’s only role play, and incorporate puppy play into their sexuality.

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Kinktionary: Kink

May 12th, 2016 Comments off
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Webster defines “kink” as “unconventional sexual taste or behavior”; in other words, a fetish. That’s probably the most used definition, especially in mainstream media.

In the kink community, “kink” is also used as a sort of catch all for nontraditional sex practices, fetishes, and relationship dynamics. Some well known kinks include (but definitely are not limited too) a foot fetish, BDSM play, water sports, master/slave relationship dynamics, and spankings.

Though BDSM is a kink, not everyone who is kinky is into BDSM.

You can find a user-created list of fetishes here on Fetlife (requires login, free registration). Keep in mind, though, that there are quite a few fetishes there that were created tongue-in-cheek and some that are inside jokes.

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Kinktionary: Edging

May 6th, 2016 Comments off

Edging is a generally considered to be a masturbation technique used by men to achieve the “ultimate orgasm.” To edge, a man will bring himself close to orgasm, then deny himself over and over again, before finally allowing himself release. This is said to result in a much better orgasm than if a man were to climax the first time he feels able.

Men do not actually corner the market on edging, and edging is not only used during masturbation.

In BDSM, edging is a method of controlling a submissive by driving them into sexual frustration. The top will bring the bottom to the brink of orgasm through intercourse or manual stimulation (with or without a sex toy), then deny the bottom climax.

Some people believe that this form of sexual control increases a bottom’s submissive nature, and it makes sense. Exerting control over a bottom’s orgasm can cause the bottom to exhibit behaviors they know will please the top in order to receive the reward of getting off.

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