cinnamon :
My question to you is, how do you feel about fear in an M/s relationship?
I fluctuate, sometimes, on how I feel about it, on the whole.
I mean, a lot of people will say, “If you’re afraid of your dominant, you’re being abused.” Matter of fact, I was told that very thing when I belonged to #submission on DALnet (IRC). Along with the, supposedly widely agreed upon, opinion that I was a sweet girl but I needed to get away from M. Lol.
I don’t buy into that BS. I mean, take Kaya and Carrie, for example. Fear makes them hot. Outwardly and inwardly. Like, I drool at the clips they share. Lol. They get off on it. It feeds them.
But me? I was raised to believe fear is weakness. So, I absolutely hate being afraid. Fear pisses me off and sends me into fight or flight. And when it comes to M, I can’t run anymore. So I fight. And I fight dirty.
Last time, I refused an order. More than once. I had a nice welt for that one for a while.
But I believe I should absolutely be afraid of the consequences of my actions. And if not afraid, then accepting at least.
I guess, in my mind, it’s not always a bad thing. I mean, it’s a great tool to control someone with. But… I’d rather willingly submit to someone because I respect him. Not because he’s made me so afraid of him that I have no choice.
I know we’ve sort of discussed this here, before. But what do you guys think?