Posts Tagged ‘domination’

Wisdom On A Bumper Sticker

May 20th, 2015 2 comments

Master doesn’t much care for activism.

I think I’ve said that before.

It’s not so much that he thinks no one should be an activist. It’s more that he is not at all interested in him being an activist, and he feels we have too much to lose if I’m an activist, and he doesn’t understand how people with families and incredibly happy lives can just flit off to protests, jeopardizing their careers, and their families, and (let’s face it) their lives. He doesn’t understand how any cause can be more important than all of that.

Of course, he’s also a straight, white, cisgender male who works in a corporate environment where he’s not required to leave the comfort of his own home unless he has to actually touch a machine, and there’s nothing affecting him specifically that he feels is a big enough deal to protest. That might change if he finds himself affected by the ageism that is ever present in the internet technology field, but for now, it is what it is.

He sees the problems with the world. He points them out to me on occasion, like the other day, when he was thoroughly disgusted by a cop who pepper sprayed a couple teens while they were handcuffed in a holding cell. But he doesn’t buy into the idea that activism is the rent we pay to live on Earth. And he looks at the arguments between activists on social media and in mainstream media and wonders how we’re gonna change things when all we’re doing is screaming in each other’s faces. Read more…

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Kinktionary: Domination

January 23rd, 2015 1 comment

found here - if you are or know the photographer, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

found here – if you are or know the photographer, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

One of the words referenced in the acronym “BDSM“.

To dominate is to rule, govern, or control. Domination, in the context of BDSM, is the consensual exertion of control over a person, usually (but not always) a submissive. The control can be service or sexually oriented, both, neither. It all depends on the desires of the people involved.

A person who likes to dominate other people can fall anywhere on the gender or sexuality spectrum. The level of domination a dominant is allowed to exert over a submissive varies from relationship to relationship, and sometimes from encounter to encounter. Domination may include sadistic play, or it may not. Domination may include bondage, or it may not. Ultimately, what it all boils down to is control, however that manifests for the people involved.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

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My Pleasure Is His Pleasure

January 5th, 2015 2 comments

20091004-IMG_1003I feel like I’m in training again.

I guess I sort of am. I mean, you don’t go years without doing something without losing a little bit of it, right?

One of Master’s go-to fantasies (that he’s only taken the opportunity to fulfill once) is placing me in the hands of an alpha for whom I have no respect. Someone he trusts to not go too far, but who I act as if I think I’m above because of their personality flaws.

That sounds really bad, but if you’ve roamed the kinky internet halls as often and as long as we have, you meet some seriously fucked up motherfuckers. I mean, that’s life in general, right? There are some people wandering the earth who are pretty much just dicks. And some of those people aren’t really dicks, they’ve just rubbed us the wrong way for some reason. Master gets off on the idea of making me submit to one of those people. Read more…

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NS(K)Q: Q43 – Humiliation Techniques for Beginners

December 18th, 2014 2 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 43:

I’ve recently entered into a d/s relationship, and I’m looking for some good humiliation techniques for beginners.

So this one’s a little difficult because when it comes to emotional sadomasochism (which, in a sense, is what humiliation play is), it’s hard to know what’s going to trigger a reaction we don’t want unless one or both of the people involved are experienced in humiliation play. This is just one of the many reasons that open, honest communication is so important in kink. Read more…

I want…

December 16th, 2014 5 comments

There’s this idea that consensual slaves don’t have wants or needs. Or, at the very least, if they do, they should just shut the fuck up about them. Because they’re the bottom, right? Slaves have given up their rights, and therefore, they’ve also given up their wants and needs.

But that’s just not how it works.

First of all, slaves are human. I don’t know any humans who are able to just check their brains and hearts at the door on a whim. Not even for someone they love.

Oh, they may be able to put them off for a while, but in the end, they eventually have to scratch those itches, or they’ll begin to resent the reason they can’t.

But besides that, this is consensual slavery. Say it with me now. Con-sen-su-al. That means the whole entire reason the slave is a slave is because it scratches an itch for them. It’s something they want.

I feel like with that statement I could mic drop and walk away, but the “slaves have wants” diatribe isn’t even why I came here. It’s just something that’s been on my mind as I’ve watched an old friend be very open with her readers about her relationship troubles, and read the smattering of absolutely disgusting responses mixed in with the well wishes and heartfelt advice, and it so nicely coincided with the real reason I want to write that I figured I’d shoehorn it in and use the real reason to make my point. Read more…

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Fat Acceptance: What It Is and Isn’t

November 10th, 2014 5 comments

I recently shut off comments on posts that were more than a year old. I’m kinda bummed about it because I really love my old posts, and love hearing from new readers as they get further in my archive. But when the number of people only commenting on 4-year-old posts that talk about me being fat (to tell me I’m too fat to be a slave and/or fat acceptance is wrong) or getting in trouble (to tell me they never get in trouble) began to outweigh the number of people telling me they’ve been helped by my old posts, I realized it was time to shut it down. But that doesn’t mean I can’t talk about it.

Some things you need to know before I start this rant:

  1. I’m still fat.
  2. I care even less about your opinion on my weight now than I did four years ago.
  3. I’m writing this to teach you what fat acceptance is and isn’t, not to defend my weight. (see point 2)
  4. Comments are moderated on this blog because our spam filter is mediocre at best. However, any comments left on this post berating me or someone else for being fat will be deleted. Keep the conversation on point. Period.

So four years ago, a post on Humbled Females that said fat women are slaves to food and not their owners (in other words, you can be too fat to be a slave) was brought to my attention, and I wrote about it. Read more…

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