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Posts Tagged ‘dominant’

Officially Looking

September 19th, 2017 3 comments

…for a play partner who wants to play with both of us. Not a relationship, mind (at least, not yet), but maybe a friendship with some sexy benefits.

This is not as easy as it sounds. I’ve been going through the local profiles on FetLife and most of the members are dudes or straight girls. If they’re not dudes or straight girls, they’re switches, or monogamous, or really young, or little.

Nothing makes you feel as old as realizing you really don’t have the temperament to fuck most1 people who are 15 years younger than you2.

I’m not even 40 yet. Read more…

Categories: rayne Tags:

Unpacking

August 22nd, 2017 No comments

I don’t handle confrontation well. Or communicating my wants/needs/emotions. This is not a secret.

I talk very logically about good communication in BDSM relationships all the time, but when it comes down to applying that in my own life, I often come up wanting.

It’s partly how I was raised. Growing up, my mother would try to get me to talk it out, but when she didn’t have the answers I was looking for, I’d get frustrated and shut down. My father’s response to any negative emotion was “walk it off.”

“Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, Rayne,” he’d say. “You’re giving everyone all they need to mess with you.”

And I took it to heart and started doing my best to keep everything bottled inside.

I was already a good candidate for borderline personality disorder (BPD). Add in the stilted emotional development, and I was a shoe-in. Read more…

Categories: rayne Tags:

NS(K)Q: Q70 – How do I know?

January 23rd, 2017 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 70:

I do a lot of dating site dating. It’s just as much of a clusterfuck as you can imagine. It’s like people on dating sites think other dating site users are just sex dolls waiting around to pleasure them. And the dick pics! Ohhh the dick pics. Don’t these boys know that if we want to look at their dicks, we’ll ask? Anyway…this is how I found BDSM. One of the profiles I was looking at mentioned it, and I googled it, and now I’m really intrigued. But I don’t know what, exactly, I’m intrigued by. Like, do I want to be a domme or a sub? Do I want to be spanked or do the spanking? I DON’T KNOW!!! So that’s my question. How do I know?

The simple answer is trial and error. Read more…

NS(K)Q: Q69 – Disappearing Mistress

January 16th, 2017 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 69:

Recently, my mistress and I went from d/s to m/s. I’ve never been a slave before, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Problem is, now that I’m a “slave,” she just up and disappears for weeks without giving me any indication of where she’s going, or how long she’ll be gone. Or she’ll tell me she’s going to the store, and show back up at my house three days later. She doesn’t call, or take/return my calls while she’s gone. Is this normal? Because I don’t know if I can be a slave if this is normal.

No, this is not normal.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship.

Imma say it again for the people in the back.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship. Read more…

NS(K)Q: Q68 – Passionate Disagreements

January 9th, 2017 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 68:

So the other day, my owner and I had a huge fight. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s painful. This time, I can’t bring myself to back down. Something happened outside of our relationship that caused some issues for me, and I wanted to stand up for myself, but he wouldn’t let me. I’m angry, and hurt, and I feel like he doesn’t care about what happens to me. How do you handle things like this? Am I overreacting?

That’s rough. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, right now.

Without knowing the whole situation, I can’t really say whether or not you’re overreacting. I mean, if the something that happened is something small, like someone accidentally stepped on your toe and didn’t cause any damage, then yeah…you’re overreacting a little bit. But if it’s something big, like being disrespected, or discriminated against, or abused in some way, then I feel like you’re not overreacting at all. Read more…

#SunnySunday Rope and 17 Minutes

January 8th, 2017 Comments off

M wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so he took a long bath. While he was in the tub, I set my timer, put Halestorm on shuffle, and got on the elliptical.

When my fifteen minutes were up, my feet were sore, but not like they usually are, so I decided to go to the end of the song. Ended up putting me at 17 minutes. Probably a little over, because the song was three minutes and 37 seconds long, and it came on at about 14 minutes. So tomorrow the timer gets set to 17 minutes. Maybe I’ll make this goal after all.

When M got out of the bath, he ordered me into the shower, and told me to put on some makeup when I got out.

This makeup thing is really weird, but I’m having fun. He’s never cared if I wore makeup before. Red lipstick and nail polish now and again, but that’s it. Now that I have a bunch of makeup, thanks to a friend who sent me a giant box of makeup around Christmas, it’s, like, a thing.

“Go put on some makeup so I can ruin it.”

I know this is a known fetish, as fetishes go, it’s just not one he’s really expressed before.

I know wearing makeup is considered “looking one’s best” in some circles, but I don’t really buy into that. Never really have. Plus, I don’t feel like I look my best when I’m wearing makeup. Not all the time, anyway. Sometimes it looks downright awful.

Turns out, that’s because I have no idea how to put it on. Imagine that.

ANYway…rope!

He’s ALSO been tying me up more. This is not really a thing he’s ever done much of. Mostly, it’s been leather (or Vondage, as the case may be) bondage. Cuffs and locks.

I really like rope. Really, really. Like, a lot. Is making me soooo happy. =D

When you open a gift from a friend and know instantly that they get you.

A photo posted by Rayne Millaray (@rayne_millaray) on

Categories: #SunnySunday Tags: