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Posts Tagged ‘bondage’

My Get Up and Go Got Up and Went

October 6th, 2017 1 comment

Motivation is a major problem for me. As in, I have 0 personal motivation to do anything. People look at my list of diagnoses (chronic clinical depression, severe anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder [BPD]), and go, “Well, duh,” but it’s really bothering me.

I’ve basically become a housewife. I don’t really work with/for anyone, anymore.

It’s partly because when I’m going through shit, I start dropping the ball, and instead of explaining myself to the people I work with, I mostly just stop talking to them. I’m sure they see me posting on social media, and think I’m fine, everything’s fine, I’m just blowing them off. But it’s not like that at all. In reality, I’m a mess, everything’s crazy1, and the only way I know how to cope is to retreat inside myself and shut everyone out but M. I know that’s crazy unprofessional, and I have no excuse besides mental illness. And in truth, I don’t think that should excuse my behavior. It wouldn’t in an actual work setting, so why should it anywhere else?

Of course, there are some exceptions, like the company I told I was going on hiatus right after their system changed. I lost my login info while on hiatus, so I asked them for help, and they told me they “forgot” how to get it, offered to direct me to a blogger, and then I never heard from them again outside of mass affiliate emails. It felt very much like I was being blown off, so I’ve since removed their banner from my sidebar. I haven’t removed their other links because I really liked working with them, and would love to again, but we’re in a serious money crunch, so if I’m going to promote sales again, it’s going to be for companies I can potentially make a commission from, and not one that won’t even help me figure out how to get into my affiliate account. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Read more…

Officially Looking

September 19th, 2017 4 comments

…for a play partner who wants to play with both of us. Not a relationship, mind (at least, not yet), but maybe a friendship with some sexy benefits.

This is not as easy as it sounds. I’ve been going through the local profiles on FetLife and most of the members are dudes or straight girls. If they’re not dudes or straight girls, they’re switches, or monogamous, or really young, or little.

Nothing makes you feel as old as realizing you really don’t have the temperament to fuck most1 people who are 15 years younger than you2.

I’m not even 40 yet. Read more…

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Kinktionary: Paraphilia

January 25th, 2017 Comments off

A paraphilia is an unhealthy obsession with an object, behavior, or sexual act, usually involving another person’s psychological or physical distress. Often socially unacceptable behavior or “sexual deviance” are categorized as paraphilias. Some paraphilias can be vary dangerous, while others are deemed unacceptable based on society’s ever changing moral code. Though many resources have not updated their definitions (like Merriam-Webster, for example), masochism and sadism are no longer considered paraphilas by those in the mental health field. Some things that are still included are cannibalism, sexual assault, pedophilia, snuff, and bestiality.

Paraphilias are not to be confused with fetishes.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

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NS(K)Q: Q70 – How do I know?

January 23rd, 2017 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 70:

I do a lot of dating site dating. It’s just as much of a clusterfuck as you can imagine. It’s like people on dating sites think other dating site users are just sex dolls waiting around to pleasure them. And the dick pics! Ohhh the dick pics. Don’t these boys know that if we want to look at their dicks, we’ll ask? Anyway…this is how I found BDSM. One of the profiles I was looking at mentioned it, and I googled it, and now I’m really intrigued. But I don’t know what, exactly, I’m intrigued by. Like, do I want to be a domme or a sub? Do I want to be spanked or do the spanking? I DON’T KNOW!!! So that’s my question. How do I know?

The simple answer is trial and error. Read more…

#SunnySunday Rope and 17 Minutes

January 8th, 2017 Comments off

M wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so he took a long bath. While he was in the tub, I set my timer, put Halestorm on shuffle, and got on the elliptical.

When my fifteen minutes were up, my feet were sore, but not like they usually are, so I decided to go to the end of the song. Ended up putting me at 17 minutes. Probably a little over, because the song was three minutes and 37 seconds long, and it came on at about 14 minutes. So tomorrow the timer gets set to 17 minutes. Maybe I’ll make this goal after all.

When M got out of the bath, he ordered me into the shower, and told me to put on some makeup when I got out.

This makeup thing is really weird, but I’m having fun. He’s never cared if I wore makeup before. Red lipstick and nail polish now and again, but that’s it. Now that I have a bunch of makeup, thanks to a friend who sent me a giant box of makeup around Christmas, it’s, like, a thing.

“Go put on some makeup so I can ruin it.”

I know this is a known fetish, as fetishes go, it’s just not one he’s really expressed before.

I know wearing makeup is considered “looking one’s best” in some circles, but I don’t really buy into that. Never really have. Plus, I don’t feel like I look my best when I’m wearing makeup. Not all the time, anyway. Sometimes it looks downright awful.

Turns out, that’s because I have no idea how to put it on. Imagine that.

ANYway…rope!

He’s ALSO been tying me up more. This is not really a thing he’s ever done much of. Mostly, it’s been leather (or Vondage, as the case may be) bondage. Cuffs and locks.

I really like rope. Really, really. Like, a lot. Is making me soooo happy. =D

When you open a gift from a friend and know instantly that they get you.

A photo posted by Rayne Millaray (@rayne_millaray) on

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Review Preview: Vondage by Stockroom.com

July 12th, 2016 Comments off

Screen Shot 2016-07-12 at 9.18.59 AMThis is not a review. I repeat: This is not a review! It’s a review preview! The review will come later. I promise.

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. Probably because I don’t remember ever being this impressed.

This is Vondage, a fully vegan bondage set by Stockroom.com. And I am absolutely gaga over the cuffs. So gaga that I just had to tell you all about them, rtfn.

I received the entire Vondage set (wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, collar, leash, hogtie strap, blindfold–sold separately) on July 6th, and I literally haven’t taken the cuffs off except to do things that involve my hands and food or harsh chemicals. Or if we’re leaving the house, cuz it’s shorts weather, and I’m pretty sure my neighbors would lose their shit if they saw me walking around in locking black leather-looking cuffs.

Aside from wearing them constantly, I haven’t used them enough, yet, to write a full out review, but I can say that, as a 24/7 bondage tool, Vondage is #1 on my list.

Yep. You read right. #1. Read more…

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