Posts Tagged ‘bisexual’

I’ve always wanted to call myself queer.

March 19th, 2014 7 comments

Photo of Rayne with a rainbow gradient The first time I heard the word “queer,” I fell in love. I was about six, and it was one of our spelling words for the week.

At the time, though the word was gaining ground as an insult to gay people, to a child’s brain it only had one meaning: weird.

I was definitely weird. When my friends were spending their time playing Hide and Go Seek, or using the empty plot next to my house for a barely-legal game of baseball (seriously, we changed all the rules because we could), I was often curled up in my imagination, watching the cheerleaders on Fear Street spew split pea soup, or pretending I was Jessica at Sweet Valley High, or sneaking looks into more adult authors that I wasn’t supposed to read, like Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I loved baseball and my friends, but when you love so many things, as I did, you have to divide your time wisely. I occasionally forgot there was a world outside my books.

I dressed all in black, all of the time, but rarely owned black shoes until I finally talked my dad into a semi-girly pair of combat boots from Payless. It wasn’t goth. I loved to watch the goths in high school during lunch. I loved how comfortable they were in their Victorian clothes and heavy makeup. I wished I had big enough cojones to do something that drastic with my wardrobe and makeup. Not necessarily goth, but something. Read more…

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Sexuality in Schenectady

September 20th, 2011 2 comments

“I am gay and this is where I stay. We have ALWAYS been a part of this community.”

That was on billboards and the sides of buses in Schenectady, New York for at least a year. There might be a few of each still sporting the message. The people in the pictures are mostly black men. The intent is to promote HIV awareness and LGBT acceptance among the black community. And it’s really not been all that well accepted.

A black friend of mine was standing on our porch one day when a public bus drove by with the picture on the side. He turned around and saw the sign, then shook his head in frustration. Read more…

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Should taxpayers pay for gender reassignment surgery?

June 11th, 2011 5 comments

There’s a subject on which I’m completely torn, and I don’t talk about it because I’m not really sure whether or not I have the right to talk about it, and I can’t tell you how utterly stupid that is. Because they are the minority and they need the support of the majority. Without the support of the majority, the movement raised in support of equality will fizzle and die. Yet, parts of this group continue to tell those of us not within the parameters they deem worthy that we have no right to an opinion, and certainly shouldn’t be trying to force our opinion, whatever that may be, upon those of us who don’t share our position in life. Whatever that means.

I get the notion of privilege, and the idea that I’m more privileged than a black woman simply because of the color of my skin disgusts me, but I won’t pretend I don’t see it every day when I’m mingling among the masses we call society. It’s apparent in the way people of every color trust me more than sometimes people of their own race or nationality. It’s noticeable in the ease with which people slip into conversation with me, and aren’t uncomfortable if I stand too close, and don’t mind leaving me with their prized possessions while they do something in another room. Read more…

But… I thought… – On National Coming Out Day

October 11th, 2010 6 comments

Click me to find out where to buy sheets of stickers just like me!

From the sheer numbers of congratulatory comments I’ve seen on Twitter, and the articles themselves, I’m probably, once again, making myself some enemies.  And honestly, I’m not even sure how to put this without coming across extremely offensive.  But here goes nothing.

Today’s National Coming Out Day.  I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it.  I support equal rights for gay people, and fully support a person’s right to be open about their sexuality.  Of course I do.  I’m bisexual, occasionally polyamorous, and have chosen to be a sex slave.  I love having the right to be who I am, and would give just about anything for everyone to be, at the very least, tolerant, if not accepting.  And I realize that coming out is huge for those who haven’t always been comfortable doing so.  But pretty much all of my friends are out.  I’m not sure I have many at all whose families don’t know their sexual orientation.  And I didn’t think it was necessary to begin a circle jerk of pats on the back for something we’ve already done, but others find just the consideration abhorrent, much less the actual act.  Read more…

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Coming Out

August 25th, 2009 Comments off

I just came out to my mom.  Sort of.  Halfway.  I told her I’m bisexual.  She told me she didn’t want to know anything else.

Not because she has a problem with me being bisexual.  She said it doesn’t change who I am.  That it’s mine and M’s business and not hers.  But because I told her I wasn’t yet willing to take the risk of her losing respect for M if I told her the rest of my sordid little secret.

She said that she wasn’t interested in hearing my secret if I wasn’t comfortable with telling her.  And she said that I know her well enough that I’m probably right.


It’s decided.  I will never intentionally tell my parents about me being a slave.  Ever.  Because it will not go over with them at all.

But what about you? Have you told your family? Your friends?

How’d they take it?

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