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Posts Tagged ‘bdsm’

Officially Looking

September 19th, 2017 3 comments

…for a play partner who wants to play with both of us. Not a relationship, mind (at least, not yet), but maybe a friendship with some sexy benefits.

This is not as easy as it sounds. I’ve been going through the local profiles on FetLife and most of the members are dudes or straight girls. If they’re not dudes or straight girls, they’re switches, or monogamous, or really young, or little.

Nothing makes you feel as old as realizing you really don’t have the temperament to fuck most1 people who are 15 years younger than you2.

I’m not even 40 yet. Read more…

Categories: rayne Tags:

Unpacking

August 22nd, 2017 No comments

I don’t handle confrontation well. Or communicating my wants/needs/emotions. This is not a secret.

I talk very logically about good communication in BDSM relationships all the time, but when it comes down to applying that in my own life, I often come up wanting.

It’s partly how I was raised. Growing up, my mother would try to get me to talk it out, but when she didn’t have the answers I was looking for, I’d get frustrated and shut down. My father’s response to any negative emotion was “walk it off.”

“Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, Rayne,” he’d say. “You’re giving everyone all they need to mess with you.”

And I took it to heart and started doing my best to keep everything bottled inside.

I was already a good candidate for borderline personality disorder (BPD). Add in the stilted emotional development, and I was a shoe-in. Read more…

Born again butt virgin?

July 6th, 2017 No comments

It started the same basic way sex between us usually starts. He sent me to the bedroom to get naked and get on the bed.

If you asked what position we use most, the answer would have to be doggy style. I get on my hands and knees with my ass and feet hanging off the edge of the bed, and he stands behind me, legs between my feet, and pounds on my pussy so hard I’m really surprised our flimsy (15 year old) frame hasn’t snapped.

He slammed into me, and fucked me like that for a while. The stomachache I’d been nursing for two or three days disappeared behind the haze of good sex. The pain of spending too much time on my hands and knees the day before was a distant memory. All I was focused on, could focus on was his cock.

Then he spread my ass so he could stare at my asshole. I tried not to tense, tried to hide my fear, but he knew it was there. I could tell by the way his body reacted to the way my body reacted. Read more…

Categories: Play Time, rayne Tags:

Sometimes, it’s not nice to be nice.

June 16th, 2017 Comments off

So I’ve been really slacking on the house. And on writing. And though I’ve been doing everything I can to be a good slave otherwise, slacking on the chores and writing is making me feel hella guilty.

Even more so because Master is being so damn nice about it.

He’s started doing this thing where he tries to point out that something needs done or isn’t being done as often/well as it should be in the nicest way possible. The other day, he was actually trying to say that something I’d done, that I hadn’t done in a while, looked really good, and he was appreciative. But he was trying to say it without making me feel bad for the time that I’d let it fall by the wayside.

And then, yesterday, I decided to pick up the bedroom and vacuum because he bought a new vacuum, and I wanted to use it. The old one is made for indoor/outdoor carpet and hard floors, and really doesn’t do much of anything on the carpet in this house. He didn’t really believe me when I told him that, but then this happened (Instagram post showing a small section of carpet that was just vacuumed and the full canister from the vacuum to exhibit just how bad the old vacuum is), so he believes me now. ANYway, I got really frustrated with myself because the bedroom was a disaster, and he basically started making excuses. I mean, they were true, but they were excuses just the same.

So, finally, I said, “Nah, dude, I’m fucking up.” Don’t try to make me feel better about fucking up. You’re the boss. It’s okay to just say, “Yo, you’re fucking up. Straighten up.” Yes, it will make me feel shitty, but…I mean…I did it to myself. Right? Right.

It’s sweet that he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but it’s completely unproductive. If there’s one thing that hasn’t changed in all of our 15 years (besides the fact that I’ll love him until my dying breath), it’s that I need boundaries and repercussions when I push them. Without them, I just keep pushing. As a friend use to say, you can’t submit in a vacuum. If he doesn’t care, what’s the point?

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. 💜

Categories: rayne Tags:

Kinktionary: Paraphilia

January 25th, 2017 Comments off

A paraphilia is an unhealthy obsession with an object, behavior, or sexual act, usually involving another person’s psychological or physical distress. Often socially unacceptable behavior or “sexual deviance” are categorized as paraphilias. Some paraphilias can be vary dangerous, while others are deemed unacceptable based on society’s ever changing moral code. Though many resources have not updated their definitions (like Merriam-Webster, for example), masochism and sadism are no longer considered paraphilas by those in the mental health field. Some things that are still included are cannibalism, sexual assault, pedophilia, snuff, and bestiality.

Paraphilias are not to be confused with fetishes.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

NS(K)Q: Q70 – How do I know?

January 23rd, 2017 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 70:

I do a lot of dating site dating. It’s just as much of a clusterfuck as you can imagine. It’s like people on dating sites think other dating site users are just sex dolls waiting around to pleasure them. And the dick pics! Ohhh the dick pics. Don’t these boys know that if we want to look at their dicks, we’ll ask? Anyway…this is how I found BDSM. One of the profiles I was looking at mentioned it, and I googled it, and now I’m really intrigued. But I don’t know what, exactly, I’m intrigued by. Like, do I want to be a domme or a sub? Do I want to be spanked or do the spanking? I DON’T KNOW!!! So that’s my question. How do I know?

The simple answer is trial and error. Read more…