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Posts Tagged ‘abuse’

NS(K)Q: Q68 – Passionate Disagreements

January 9th, 2017 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 68:

So the other day, my owner and I had a huge fight. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s painful. This time, I can’t bring myself to back down. Something happened outside of our relationship that caused some issues for me, and I wanted to stand up for myself, but he wouldn’t let me. I’m angry, and hurt, and I feel like he doesn’t care about what happens to me. How do you handle things like this? Am I overreacting?

That’s rough. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, right now.

Without knowing the whole situation, I can’t really say whether or not you’re overreacting. I mean, if the something that happened is something small, like someone accidentally stepped on your toe and didn’t cause any damage, then yeah…you’re overreacting a little bit. But if it’s something big, like being disrespected, or discriminated against, or abused in some way, then I feel like you’re not overreacting at all. Read more…

NS(K)Q: Q65 (part 2) – Can a M/s dynamic exist when consent is revoked? (TW)

April 29th, 2016 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 65 (part 2):

Original post here. Can a master/slave dynamic exist once the slave revokes consent?

I realized after I posted the last NS(K)Q that I didn’t answer one of the questions asked. Can a master/slave dynamic exist once the slave revokes consent?

In truth, the only real answer here is “it depends.”

There are all sorts of variables, and all sorts of definitions of what a “master/slave dynamic” really is. Whether or not the dynamic can continue to exist depends entirely on the people involved. Read more…

To The Dude Who Was Offended By My Lack Of Escort

January 12th, 2016 4 comments

So we stop at the gas station at the corner, and there’s a dude pumping gas on the other side of the pump I’m using. He’s between the ages of 30 and 35, with brown hair and eyes, and looks like your average 30-something white dude, right down to the silver sedan he’s gassing up. That dude was you.

I didn’t think much of it. There’s often dudes pumping gas on the other side of the pump I’m using. They mind their side. I mind mine. We are, after all, just there to purchase gas.

You locked eyes with me as I walked to the pump. No big deal. Strangers lock eyes with each other by mistake and on purpose all the time.

Then, you turned to your wife and said, “All these girls going to the store by themselves every day. When [daughter’s name] is old enough, if she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I will be taking her to the store. She’s not going to be running around this area on her own.”

And I stood there, stunned into silence. Read more…

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NS(K)Q: Q44 – I think my friend is being abused.

January 2nd, 2015 3 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 44:

So I read your response to the radical feminist who was considering reporting your owner. That’s just insane. I’ve been reading you a while, and it’s pretty clear to me that you’re happy, and healthy, and Melen is not, at all, abusive. But I know this other submissive, and she’s not happy, or healthy, and I’m pretty sure her dom is abusing her. I have no idea what to do. Advice?

This is a really difficult situation for everyone involved, and I’m sorry that you and your friend are going through it. I think part of the reason it’s so hard on the victim’s friends and family is precisely what you said; they have no idea what to do.

First, you need to know that it is not your responsibility to save your friend. Read more…

NS(K)Q: Q39 – What’s stopping me from reporting your “owner?”

November 5th, 2014 20 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 39:

I don’t believe in BDSM. You’ll never convince me that women actually like being beaten and controlled. In fact, I think all of you submissives need a good dose of feminism to wake you up and show you how you’re helping the patriarchy. What’s stopping me, or someone like me, from reporting your “owner” to the police?

~deep breath~

Where to begin…

First of all, let’s look at this “feminist” idea that women are too stupid to know they’re being manipulated, shall we?

Because you know that’s what you’re saying, right? Read more…

Still on the fence about E.L. James and her books?

July 25th, 2014 1 comment

50 Shades of Grey Cover ArtWe all know how I feel about this series and its subsequent sex toy line. If not, I’ll sum it up real quick for you.

The 50 Shades series promotes ABUSE, not BDSM, and should not, in any way, shape, or form, be used as a guide to putting the spice back in your bedroom as the author and publisher (and pretty much the whole god damned vanilla world) have suggested.

The sex toy line isn’t particularly harmful. It’s just cheap, and the vibrators suck. I’m a kink toy snob. Mostly because I like to own kink toys that are aesthetically pleasing, well made, and will last a good, long time. This line is not at all kink toy snob worthy. It’s kinda ugly, if truth be told.

Now that my opinion’s out of the way, let me move on to why I’m here. I originally formulated those opinions before knowing jack shit about the author and after only reading the first book. I’ve still only read the first book. I can’t find the give a damn to read the second and third. I probably will eventually, but it’s so much work. Reading should be fun. I spent the whole first book completely incredulous. Read more…

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