Last Saturday

June 30th, 2017 Comments off

When we moved here, we left our grill by the road at the old place because it was super greasy, so we didn’t want it in the U-Haul, or our car. Plus, parts of it were rusting out, and the burner cover basically disintegrated when we tried to take it out to clean it. I’m pretty sure the neighbors we liked grabbed it despite the fact that it was falling apart. M says K probably just got some scrap metal and rebuilt the parts that were rusting. He’s probably right. K’s that kind of guy.

So on Friday, we bought a new grill. We actually bought it before Friday, and drove into another Middle of Nowhere town to pick it up at the store on Friday because they have this sweet discount if you do that. And the grill was on sale. After the pick up discount and sale price, we spent $20 more than we did on our last grill, and $20 less for the grill cover than we did for the last one, and they are both a hundred times better than the old grill and cover. I love it when that happens. It happens to us a lot because we wait FOR-E-VER to replace things, so by the time we do, everything is manufactured better for less money.

When we got home, we put the grill together. It took over an hour because some of the screw holes weren’t lined up correctly, and the parts weren’t all labeled. It was frustrating, but we threw teamwork at it, and got it done. Then I threw together some really amazing blue cheese burgers, and he cooked burgers on the grill for the first time in nine and a half months.

I’d say I may never go out for burgers again, but beef of any sort is rarely ever cheaper than $4-5/lb out here, so we’ve cut back our beef intake by a lot. It’s weird how much cheaper food is in the city. You’d think it would be cheaper in the country because, theoretically, it doesn’t have to go as far.

We didn’t stay out long, Friday night, because I am a freakin mosquito magnet, and I have a tendency to dig my skin off when I get bitten.

On Saturday, he really, REALLY wanted to kill zombies. Read more…

Sometimes, it’s not nice to be nice.

June 16th, 2017 Comments off

So I’ve been really slacking on the house. And on writing. And though I’ve been doing everything I can to be a good slave otherwise, slacking on the chores and writing is making me feel hella guilty.

Even more so because Master is being so damn nice about it.

He’s started doing this thing where he tries to point out that something needs done or isn’t being done as often/well as it should be in the nicest way possible. The other day, he was actually trying to say that something I’d done, that I hadn’t done in a while, looked really good, and he was appreciative. But he was trying to say it without making me feel bad for the time that I’d let it fall by the wayside.

And then, yesterday, I decided to pick up the bedroom and vacuum because he bought a new vacuum, and I wanted to use it. The old one is made for indoor/outdoor carpet and hard floors, and really doesn’t do much of anything on the carpet in this house. He didn’t really believe me when I told him that, but then this happened (Instagram post showing a small section of carpet that was just vacuumed and the full canister from the vacuum to exhibit just how bad the old vacuum is), so he believes me now. ANYway, I got really frustrated with myself because the bedroom was a disaster, and he basically started making excuses. I mean, they were true, but they were excuses just the same.

So, finally, I said, “Nah, dude, I’m fucking up.” Don’t try to make me feel better about fucking up. You’re the boss. It’s okay to just say, “Yo, you’re fucking up. Straighten up.” Yes, it will make me feel shitty, but…I mean…I did it to myself. Right? Right.

It’s sweet that he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but it’s completely unproductive. If there’s one thing that hasn’t changed in all of our 15 years (besides the fact that I’ll love him until my dying breath), it’s that I need boundaries and repercussions when I push them. Without them, I just keep pushing. As a friend use to say, you can’t submit in a vacuum. If he doesn’t care, what’s the point?

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. 💜

Categories: rayne Tags:

How to Handle Transgender Name Changes as a Cisgender Person

May 3rd, 2017 Comments off

When I was in 9th grade, I met a boy. THE boy.

Or, you know, so I thought in 9th grade…and then 10th grade…and then part of 11th grade…and then I rarely spoke to him because his girlfriend was crazy jealous of me and showed up at my parents’ house with friends and baseball bats and threatened to beat me to death if I did, and it was easier for him if I stayed away because when we got caught talking, she’d threaten suicide. ANYway…

He was the boy that got away. The one I would always (I thought in high school) love more than anyone else. And probably the biggest point of contention between me and my ex (besides the abuse) even though most of the time, I didn’t even see or talk to him because of the aforementioned girlfriend.

I’m not in love with him anymore, obviously, but I think about him occasionally. Did he ever reach his life goal of owning a McDonalds? Did he get away from the aforementioned abusive girl he dated on and off throughout high school? Does he still hang out with the people we used to hang out with? Did he ever put together that jazz band he wanted?

But most of all, I think about his name. Read more…

Categories: rayne Tags:

And off we go…

February 1st, 2017 Comments off

I pretty much failed at my January goals. I’m not even a little bit upset about it, which tells me a lot about my relationship with this site that I wasn’t ready to face until now.

Not making 30 minutes on the elliptical wasn’t completely my fault, so I’m not going to beat myself up over it. The elliptical broke and it took us a week or so to get it to work again. And then we got sick, so we stopped doing it while we got better. I’m not upset about it. Shit happens. It was an optimistic goal, anyway. When I made it, I didn’t realize just how out of shape I’d gotten.

I’m not giving up. In fact, I’m feeling better, so I’m going to get on the elliptical later today, and hope to get back to my three days on, one day off schedule this month. I have a purpose, now, that I didn’t have in the beginning of January. I realized that climbing the hills on the local DEC land is making me feel way shittier than it should, and so I’m hoping that by Spring, I’ll be in better shape, and feel good after a hike, like I used to. I can’t wait to get back into nature. Read more…

Categories: Site News Tags:

#SunnySunday #TrumpRegrets #VotersRemorse

January 29th, 2017 Comments off

These three Twitter accounts are giving me life right now:

Handle: @Trump_Regrets
Bio: Retweeting everyone who regrets voting for Trump. DM if you want your tweet taken off.
Joined: November 2016

Handle: @trumpbigregrets
Bio: Bigly regret voting for @realDonaldTrump? Looking for a little schadenfreude? Follow, retweet & maybe offer some hugs. #trumpregrets #trumpgrets #VotersRemorse
Joined: December 2016

Handle: @realTrumpgrets
Bio: I regret voting for Trump. Now all I can do is fight back against his lies. He said he would drain the swamp, not overflow it!
Joined: December 2013

Pinned tweet:

Review: Partner Plus by Satisfyer

January 27th, 2017 Comments off

Ooo, what’s that?

That, right there, is the Satisfyer Partner Plus. And functional as it is, it’s also my cue to give up on this type of partner toy.

How’s it made?

It’s made of silicone, and is shaped like a U. It has about 2.75 inches of insertable length, and is about 1.5 inches at its widest point. It has one button to control the settings, which go high, medium, low, and then cycle through 7 patterns. It does not remember the last setting you used. But it is waterproof and rechargeable via a magnetic USB charger. Read more…