Apparently, we’re moving again.

May 17th, 2017 Comments off

Edited at 9:15pm: Landlord just called. WE DON’T HAVE TO MOVE!

We were recently told we’re probably going to have to move. It probably serves me right for being so braggadocios about the location, but I’m not even sorry.

What I am is pissed. And sad. And stressed the fuck out.

The landlord told us two days before I went in for breast cancer screening, and a few days after we found out that M has gum disease so severe that the dentist is extremely concerned about his health, and needs $10,000 in oral surgery (our insurance covers $1,000). And the next day, our car broke.

Three or four months ago, I found a lump in my breast, and I ignored it because I’ve had lumps before, and they went away. This one didn’t go away. In fact, it got larger. Eventually, I told M, and tried to get an appointment to be seen, and that day was so fucking frustrating that I pretty much cried and screamed all day.

I lost count of how many doctors I called.

My primary care physician refused to see me for the lump until I had a physical done because my last one was in 2015, and she didn’t have any physical appointments open until May. I called her around the end of March. Because catching breast cancer early is so important, I really wanted to punch her in the face. Like, seriously. Like, I’ve never wanted to punch someone so bad in my life. I won’t be seeing that doctor again. Not even if she’s the only doctor left on the planet. Read more…

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How to Handle Transgender Name Changes as a Cisgender Person

May 3rd, 2017 Comments off

When I was in 9th grade, I met a boy. THE boy.

Or, you know, so I thought in 9th grade…and then 10th grade…and then part of 11th grade…and then I rarely spoke to him because his girlfriend was crazy jealous of me and showed up at my parents’ house with friends and baseball bats and threatened to beat me to death if I did, and it was easier for him if I stayed away because when we got caught talking, she’d threaten suicide. ANYway…

He was the boy that got away. The one I would always (I thought in high school) love more than anyone else. And probably the biggest point of contention between me and my ex (besides the abuse) even though most of the time, I didn’t even see or talk to him because of the aforementioned girlfriend.

I’m not in love with him anymore, obviously, but I think about him occasionally. Did he ever reach his life goal of owning a McDonalds? Did he get away from the aforementioned abusive girl he dated on and off throughout high school? Does he still hang out with the people we used to hang out with? Did he ever put together that jazz band he wanted?

But most of all, I think about his name. Read more…

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And off we go…

February 1st, 2017 Comments off

I pretty much failed at my January goals. I’m not even a little bit upset about it, which tells me a lot about my relationship with this site that I wasn’t ready to face until now.

Not making 30 minutes on the elliptical wasn’t completely my fault, so I’m not going to beat myself up over it. The elliptical broke and it took us a week or so to get it to work again. And then we got sick, so we stopped doing it while we got better. I’m not upset about it. Shit happens. It was an optimistic goal, anyway. When I made it, I didn’t realize just how out of shape I’d gotten.

I’m not giving up. In fact, I’m feeling better, so I’m going to get on the elliptical later today, and hope to get back to my three days on, one day off schedule this month. I have a purpose, now, that I didn’t have in the beginning of January. I realized that climbing the hills on the local DEC land is making me feel way shittier than it should, and so I’m hoping that by Spring, I’ll be in better shape, and feel good after a hike, like I used to. I can’t wait to get back into nature. Read more…

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#SunnySunday #TrumpRegrets #VotersRemorse

January 29th, 2017 Comments off

These three Twitter accounts are giving me life right now:

Handle: @Trump_Regrets
Bio: Retweeting everyone who regrets voting for Trump. DM if you want your tweet taken off.
Joined: November 2016

Handle: @trumpbigregrets
Bio: Bigly regret voting for @realDonaldTrump? Looking for a little schadenfreude? Follow, retweet & maybe offer some hugs. #trumpregrets #trumpgrets #VotersRemorse
Joined: December 2016

Handle: @realTrumpgrets
Bio: I regret voting for Trump. Now all I can do is fight back against his lies. He said he would drain the swamp, not overflow it!
Joined: December 2013

Pinned tweet:

Review: Partner Plus by Satisfyer

January 27th, 2017 Comments off

Ooo, what’s that?

That, right there, is the Satisfyer Partner Plus. And functional as it is, it’s also my cue to give up on this type of partner toy.

How’s it made?

It’s made of silicone, and is shaped like a U. It has about 2.75 inches of insertable length, and is about 1.5 inches at its widest point. It has one button to control the settings, which go high, medium, low, and then cycle through 7 patterns. It does not remember the last setting you used. But it is waterproof and rechargeable via a magnetic USB charger. Read more…

Kinktionary: Paraphilia

January 25th, 2017 Comments off

A paraphilia is an unhealthy obsession with an object, behavior, or sexual act, usually involving another person’s psychological or physical distress. Often socially unacceptable behavior or “sexual deviance” are categorized as paraphilias. Some paraphilias can be vary dangerous, while others are deemed unacceptable based on society’s ever changing moral code. Though many resources have not updated their definitions (like Merriam-Webster, for example), masochism and sadism are no longer considered paraphilas by those in the mental health field. Some things that are still included are cannibalism, sexual assault, pedophilia, snuff, and bestiality.

Paraphilias are not to be confused with fetishes.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

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