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Punishment and an Ominous Chain

August 17th, 2010 4 comments

I got in trouble today.  Apparently, there is such a thing as “too much joking around”.  Who knew?

I shouldn’t be so glib.  I did learn a valuable lesson today, even if, on the surface, it sounds a little silly.  But my way of dealing with just about everything is tomfoolery and jokes.

What happened:

M grabs my boobs a lot.  Like… a lot, a lot.

I mean, I’ve always had oversensitive nipples, but since I’ve been with Him, they’re like… permanently hard, and the breeze makes me want to cum in my panties.  That I’m not wearing.  ANYway… Read more…

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Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

January 21st, 2010 5 comments

I wasn’t kidding when I said the only thing Master and I fight about these days is how much He works.  I know that, for the most part, it’s beyond His control.  I know that He doesn’t want to be working this much.  And I know it could be far, far worse.  He could be doing all those hours in the office.  Or He could be without a job.  But to be honest, it’s come to a point where knowing those things ceases being consolation.

I honestly would rather live on the street than have Him continue to live this way.  And I’ve lived on the street before, so I know exactly what I’m saying.

After Master suggested I write about how His job affects our relationship, I mentioned it to Cin and she said, “That should be lengthy.”  I guess I bitch just as much as I think I do about His job and how much it sucks.  But I responded, “And here I was thinking I had nothing to say.”

I can sum it up in four words.  His job touches everything.

I’m on my computer all day, every day when I’m not doing chores because He works all day, every day.  And as much as I’d love to say that when He’s working from home, I can sit at His feet all day and give Him massages and blow jobs and hand jobs and… The fact of the matter is, if I were to do that, He’d get nothing done.  Not to mention He’s on the phone more than anyone I’ve ever known.  Moaning and such in the middle of a conference call would certainly get Him fired.

Hmm… Now that’s an idea.

Master’s nonstop work schedule seriously fucks with Him.  He’s tired all the time.  He has no energy.  He almost never leaves the house.  He doesn’t have time to do the things He used to do to help make His mind stop or, at the very least, slow down, which means He’s constantly stressed out.  Spending so much time indoors lowers His immune system, so He’s been sick, lately, more than He has since I met Him.  Working so many overnights has His sleep schedule completely screwed up which exacerbates His already low energy level and iffy mental state.

Master’s got a few mental issues as well.  Who doesn’t, these days, you know? His are mostly anxiety related, though occasionally He dips into depression.  Usually when we’re having money problems or His sleep schedule is out of whack.  Read more…

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Brain Beats

February 17th, 2009 Comments off

WritingAssignmentIconWhat if you could decide exactly what mood you were going to be in and when? If you could fine tune your brainwaves so you could concentrate better at work or relax more on your day off? With brainwave synchronization, you can. But how does it work?

Neurons, or brain cells, send signals causing electrical activity to different parts of the brain. This electrical activity is what researchers have named brainwaves. Different waves are associated with different mental states and can be stimulated to change a person’s state of mind. Brainwave entrainment is the practice of changing one’s brainwave pattern to a specific frequency by stimulus with the corresponding frequency to adjust mood and concentration levels. This article will discuss and explore the history of brainwave entrainment and the different techniques.

In 1839 a man named Heinrich Wilhelm Dove noticed that if you play a different tone that blends naturally in each ear it creates a beat that is not actually there. Dove called these perceived beats “Binaural Beats”. When he discovered the beats, they were considered an oddity of the brain and nothing more. Research continued on the potential to use binaural beats as a diagnostic tool for finding auditory and general neurological problems but, because the brainwave wasn’t discovered yet, no one originally considered a side effect of these beats being mood and concentration enhancement.

Hans Berger discovered Alpha brainwaves in 1929 and researchers found the strength of brainwaves could be driven beyond normal frequency using flickering lights. This process is called “Photic Driving”. Less than twenty years later, in 1942, Dempsey and Morrison discovered that repetitive physical stimulation could also affect the brainwaves while in 1959 Dr. Chatrian noticed auditory entrainment in response to fifteen clicks per second administered to the subject.

In the 60s, brainwave synchronization became a tool rather than a strange phenomenon of the brain and in 1973 Dr. Gerald Oster wrote an article for Scientific American called “Auditory Beats in the Brain”. In his paper, Dr. Oster discussed the differences between binaural and monaural beats. He noticed that monaural beats got extremely strong cortical responses (electrical activity in the brain that is responsible for synchronization) though binaural beats produced very little neural response. In conclusion, Dr. Oster stated that binaural beats could be useful in diagnosing neurological disorders while monaural beats would be useful in entrainment of the brainwaves. Read more…

Barry White

June 9th, 2008 Comments off

WritingAssignmentIconMaster found a podcast for writers today and made me listen to one of the episodes. The podcast is called Writing Excuses and the episode is titled “This Sucks and I’m a Horrible Writer.” Perfect for me.

In any case, at the end of their episodes, it seems, they leave you with a prompt sentence. The one at the end of “This sucks…” is Barry knew his mumbling was going to get him killed some day. Master gave me an hour to write something with it. This is what I came up with.

Barry knew his mumbling was going to get him killed some day. It didn’t make sense. It was irrational. Who kills people over mumbling? But it would happen just as sure as his name was Barry White.

Not the famous Barry White, mind. No, this Barry White was unexceptional in every way. Except his mumbling.

Fast and low. Almost completely inaudible. And people were always misunderstanding what he had to say. Women he thanked for letting him pass thinking he told them they had a fat ass. Men he asked for directions thinking he was asking for sex. Thankfully, so far, everyone he spoke to had the intelligence to ask him to repeat himself before just hauling off and punching him and he would attempt to slow it down and enunciate. One day, however, he knew he wouldn’t be so lucky.

He kept his routine fairly simple. Up at eight; showered, dressed and out the door by eight-thirty; bagging groceries and carrying them to customer cars by nine. At one he took his lunch. One-thirty meant back to work and five put him on his way home. He didn’t take the fifteens because he smoked a cigarette at ten-thirty, eleven-thirty, two-thirty and four.

He walked both ways. It was cheaper and better for him and the store was only twenty minutes walking distance. Yet Barry was a large man. At six feet seven inches and three hundred seventy five pounds Barry white was the largest black man on his block. And the least feared. For Barry was a teddy bear.

He was slow. Child-like. And at the end of the day, after eating a dinner of roasted chicken and mashed potatoes and savoring a tall glass of sweet tea, Barry liked nothing more than to meander out to the neighborhood ball park and throw around some balls with the kids whose fathers were too busy. He never used a glove. Couldn’t quite get the hang of them. And the kids would throw the ball hard as they could and still go home groaning about how they hadn’t been able to hurt Barry’s hands.  Read more…

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Discipline Essay: The Difference Between a Jarl and a Master

October 21st, 2005 Comments off

WritingAssignmentIconThe purpose of this essay is to discuss the differences between a jarl and a master, teaching me how divergent they are and why I should be more careful when addressing each respectively. To do this, I had to first research both titles to see what they mean specifically, how and when they are applied, and where the opposing factors lie. While the main difference between a jarl and a master is location, there is much other distinct diversity as well, such as customs and beliefs. I will point out some of the anomalies I have found in the following paragraphs of this essay.

“Jarl”, loosely translated, is a title for a leader of warriors or an independent land owner of the male persuasion. They reside in Torvaldsland and are usually farmers but are also known to pillage and plunder, sometimes by way of sea, very much like the Vikings of Earth. They are rarely seen without a weapon, even if it is just a knife carried in their belt.

“Master”, on the other hand, is usually used loosely to address any free man south of Torvaldsland either by a slave or a person of lower caste than the man to whom they speak. Generally speaking, a master can be anyone. Any free man, regardless of caste or creed or color can own a slave and thus be regarded as a master.

All slaves refer to a free man of the northern land, known as Torvaldsland, as “jarl”. Jarls, because of their vicious upbringing, are known to be harder than most southern masters, on slaves and free alike. Because of location, farming, while the main way of life, is difficult
and often does not provide enough to survive by. This turns the men to the sea, acting much like pirates or Vikings, fighting their way to the top, and making their own access to what they need in order to survive. Young boys of Torvaldsland are taught to be tough, fierce warriors in harsh games, learning to swim, run, wield a sword and axe, throw a spear and stand against steel completely unnerved, even when wounded. Read more…

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Abuse vs. Sadomasochism

October 16th, 2003 Comments off

The ever popular debate, argument, paradox…whatever you’d like to call it. I have to admit, I’m slightly confused. I’m sure I’m not the only one. This probably isn’t going to make me very popular, but they say opinions are like ass holes. Take me with a grain of salt and move on.

Basically what it comes down to is where is the line drawn? Where do we say, “Wait a minute. This isn’t sadomasochism anymore. This is abuse.”? When do we (as submissives) say, “This isn’t what I signed up for.”?

Scenario 1: “My owner gave me a safe word and insisted that I use it when something happens that I can’t handle. He promised that he would stop if I used my safe word, but last week we were playing and I called out “red light” and he kept going. I called it out a few more times but he wouldn’t stop. When he finally stopped I was hysterical. He said he didn’t hear me and apologized about a hundred times and I believed him. But last night, it happened again.”

Okay, maybe this girl’s owner has a hearing problem. Doubtful. In this case, I would say abuse. The line is drawn. He said if she used her safe word, he would stop. Period. There’s no, “Well, I thought she might be able to take just a little more.” No, “I’m in charge here. I say what goes.” Yeah, you’re in charge. And you should be in charge of a jail cell. The two of you agreed on a safe word. In your relationship, calling out your safe word means STOP. Period.

Scenario 2: “My owner and I filled out a check list at the beginning of our relationship, and we discussed limits I absolutely will not cross. Things that I would be able to walk away upon him doing them. Things that I just can’t and won’t deal with. I don’t have a safe word but before I was collared we agreed that these limits wouldn’t be crossed or even pushed, and that if they were, I could give him back his collar and the contract was terminated. A few weeks ago, we were playing, and it got kind of out of hand, and he crossed some of my limits. I freaked and he tried to console me saying he got carried away in the moment and he was sorry. But the other day, he did it again.”

Once again, abuse. Limits were set. The submissive drew firm lines that she would not cross. Hell, she even gave him another chance when he crossed them. The second time tells me that he doesn’t particularly care where the lines are drawn. That he’s going to do what he wants, when he wants, whether she likes it or not. In my relationship with Master, that would fly. I gave up all rights. Dropped all limits. Told Him, “Do with me as you please.” In the relationship described here, that isn’t the case. She drew firm lines between what she would and wouldn’t do. Which brings me to:  Read more…

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