Edging is a generally considered to be a masturbation technique used by men to achieve the “ultimate orgasm.” To edge, a man will bring himself close to orgasm, then deny himself over and over again, before finally allowing himself release. This is said to result in a much better orgasm than if a man were to climax the first time he feels able.
Men do not actually corner the market on edging, and edging is not only used during masturbation.
In BDSM, edging is a method of controlling a submissive by driving them into sexual frustration. The top will bring the bottom to the brink of orgasm through intercourse or manual stimulation (with or without a sex toy), then deny the bottom climax.
Some people believe that this form of sexual control increases a bottom’s submissive nature, and it makes sense. Exerting control over a bottom’s orgasm can cause the bottom to exhibit behaviors they know will please the top in order to receive the reward of getting off.
Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!
Broad City: “Knockoffs” – S 2, Ep 4
Pegging generally refers to consensual anal penetration with a dildo, usually with a strap on harness. It is often used to refer to a woman penetrating a man.
Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!
In mathematics, subspace is defined as “a space that is wholly contained in another space, or whose points or elements are all in another space.” Some kinksters would say that definition isn’t far from the truth.
Subspace is often described as a floating sensation, or feeling detached from one’s body. Speech and thought become difficult. Some refer to it as “flying” while others liken it to an MDMA trip.
The science of subspace comes down to pain-induced endorphins that attach to the same receptors as opioids. When a person is in pain (from illness, exercise, kink, etc.), the body reacts by increasing the production of dopamine, which is also known as the body’s “pleasure chemical” because it rewards the body for certain activities. Increased production of dopamine is thought to be a factor in drug addiction, which explains why so many bottoms feel addicted to subspace.
Not everyone will experience subspace. Not every play session will induce subspace. No one’s quite sure why.
Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!
There is a negative in all good things. In consensual BDSM play, that negative is sub drop.
Sub drop is a negative reaction to the end (temporary or permanent) of BDSM play. Often, it presents itself as depression or anxiety, but can also present as anger, feeling lost. How sub drop manifests depends on the person.
Part of the reason BDSM is enjoyed is because it increases endorphin production. Endorphins bind to the same receptors as opioids, which explains why subspace sounds a lot like being high. Your body reacts to endorphins the same way it would heroin.
Sub drop is a direct result of endorphin withdrawal. It can take 24 to 36 hours to notice symptoms. Many believe sub drop can be avoided by implementing aftercare after a play session.
Because sub drop is endorphin withdrawal, it can often be treated with a piece of chocolate, some exercise, or more play.
Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!
A Gorean “onlineism.” In the Gor novels, it’s explained that a collar is is called a “ko-lar,” but it is understood that this is the phonetic spelling, and not how the word is actually spelled.
She was kneeling down and I knelt across from her. “La Kajira,” said Eta, pointing to herself. “Tu Kajira,” she said, pointing to me. “La Kajira,” I said, pointing to myself. “Tu Kajira,” I said, pointing to Eta. I am a slave girl. You are a slave girl, Eta smiles. She pointed to her brand. “Kan-lara,” she said. She pointed to my brand. “Kan-lara Dina,” she said. I repeated these words. “Ko-lar,” she said, indicating her collar. “It is the same word in English,” I cried. She did not understand my outburst. Gorean, as I would learn, is rich in words borrowed from Earth languages; how rich it is I am not a skilled enough philologist to conjecture.
Slave Girl of Gor, p. 80
John Norman never gave the actual Gorean spelling of the word. Regardless, many online Gorean role-players call a collar a “kolar” in their text-based scenes and dialogue.
Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!
Due to their versatility, floggers are probably the most popular whips among sadists and masochists alike. Often referred to as a “cat of nine tails,” a flogger is a whip that usually has a rigid handle and at least nine “tails” or “falls” that are used to whip the bottom of the scene.
Generally speaking, floggers fall on the lower end of the pain spectrum, usually producing a more thuddy sensation. Of course, this depends on the material they’re made of, the weight and width of the falls, and whether the tips are cut at an angle or straight across. A rubber flogger with angled tips will sting like the dickens, whereas a leather flogger with blunt tips will feel more like a percussion massage.
How a flogger feels also depends a great deal on the person doing the whipping. A more experienced top will be better able to control their aim and the strength of the blow, which can enhance the way a flogger is feels to the bottom a great deal. Read more…
