Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category

Review: Partner Plus by Satisfyer

January 27th, 2017 Comments off

Ooo, what’s that?

That, right there, is the Satisfyer Partner Plus. And functional as it is, it’s also my cue to give up on this type of partner toy.

How’s it made?

It’s made of silicone, and is shaped like a U. It has about 2.75 inches of insertable length, and is about 1.5 inches at its widest point. It has one button to control the settings, which go high, medium, low, and then cycle through 7 patterns. It does not remember the last setting you used. But it is waterproof and rechargeable via a magnetic USB charger. Read more…

Review: Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear Pacific Blue (420)

November 3rd, 2016 3 comments

Left messy for authenticity.

Left messy1 for authenticity.

I never do this. I’ll probably never do this again. Though I am seriously considering a makeup review series so you can come with me on this journey of learning to do my nails and makeup–which is something M’s decided I should be doing.

Also, outside of shaping and strengthening, which are things I never really got the hang of, “learning” to do my nails is a bit strong. I’ve been doing nail art since before nail art was trendy. I used to spend HOURS alone in my bedroom drawing crazy designs on my nails while other girls my age were, like, studying, and playing dress up with their friends.

But I’m SO bummed out by this color. Except, no, that’s not right. It’s not the color that’s bumming me out. I love, Love, LOVE the color. It’s the rest of it.

I totally blame Christine from Simply Nailogical on YouTube because before I found her in my suggestions box, and watched her Best Black Nail Polish video, I probably never would have considered any of these things because I’ve always, ALWAYS worn cheap nail polish without considering the possibility of spending a little more to maybe not deal with these things.

And I’m seriously kicking myself, because M keeps pointing out that he gave me a cap of $20, and if I’d have thought about that when I was shopping (by myself…this is why I should not be allowed to shop by myself) I would have bought MULTIPLE bottles of nail polish instead of just one. Cuz there was this beautiful mint/teal color, and some awesome holo that I loved. But they were the same line, so they probably suck, too.


This is Sally Hansen’s Hard As Nails Xtreme Wear in Pacific Blue (420). I bought it from the drug store, and I think it was cheaper than it’s listed for at Amazon, but it could have been on sale. I was barely paying attention. I noticed the color right after noticing the $10 nail polish, and cursing under my breath because there was no such thing back when I used to do my nails all the time. At least, not in the drug store. Read more…

Review: Rumble by Tantus

October 14th, 2016 Comments off
Who needs a new bulb when you've got a deck that needs painting?

Who needs a new bulb when you’ve got a deck that needs painting?

Ooo, what’s that?

Oh, that? That’s just the lightest wand vibrator I’ve ever held in my life. It’s called the Tantus Rumble, and I like it fine, I just don’t love it. Which makes me sad.

How’s it made?

It’s got an angled, super lightweight handle that I find comfortable to use. The silicone “head,” if you will, is removable, so you’re welcome to toss it in your dishwasher between uses. Just the head, though! The body is not waterproof.

It’s got 7 settings, which range from pretty low to pretty high on the intensity spectrum. The charge lasts FOREVER even when not in use. It’s charged with a micro USB cord, so if you lose it, you can pick up a new one pretty much anywhere.

Tantus thought about just about everything. Because they listen. That’s why I love them. Read more…

Categories: Vibrators Tags:

Review: Keri by SVAKOM

September 6th, 2016 Comments off

Ooo, what’s that?


I’m sure by now you’ve heard of the vibrator sporting a camera in the end. It’s called the Siime Eye (which I read as “Slime Eye” literally every time I look at it), and quite a few braver souls than me have given it a go.

This is not that vibe, but it is by the same company. It’s the SVAKOM Keri, and while I’m sure it’s good for someone, it’s just really not my style.

How’s it made?

Keri’s shape is reminiscent of the LELO Ella. It’s short and thin, with a pronounced head, making it perfect for pinpoint stimulation. Keri has 5 vibration modes, including Normal mode, Caressing mode, Joyous Mode, Passionate mode, Climax mode. And it’s controlled by one button on the shaft. Read more…

Categories: Vibrators Tags:

Review: The Womanizer W500 Pro by epi24

June 11th, 2016 1 comment

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Ooo, what’s that?

If The Womanizer W100 was confusing, this toy is even more so. It’s more intense. It’s easier to use. It’s a little quieter. And it produces some of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.

It’s The Womanizer W500 Pro by epi24. And unless you like things on the lower end of intense, you’re gonna love this toy.

What’s it for?

Like The Womanizer W100, the W500 is meant to provide quick and easy (and maybe even multiple) orgasms without touching the clitoris directly. It, too, functions on epi24’s PleasureAir Technology, which provides the most divine suction I think I’ve ever felt. Unlike the W100, the silicone tips for the W500 come in two different diameters; 1/2 inch and 1 inch. Read more…

Review: The Womanizer W100 by epi24

June 9th, 2016 1 comment


Ooo, what’s that?

It’s the toy that’s been talked about all over the internet. From its name to its design to its mystical powers, this toy has been put through the gamut by many a reviewer. And the responses are a resounding “Wtf?” In a good way. I think? I’m afraid I’m not much help.

That, there, is The Womanizer W100 by epi24. And it’s got me scratching my head for sure.

What’s it for?

From the press release:

“The Womanizer uses a new type of stimulation technique that delivers a quick, effortless orgasm without desensitizing the clitoris. This affect is produced by using epi24’s PleasureAir Technology – air pressure waves that act as a suction to indirectly stimulate the clitoris. Once the user places the pleasure cap around the clitoris, a delicate seal is created around the area. The Womanizer does not touch the clitoris or its nerve endings during the stimulation process. Instead, it relies on the suction caused by the air pressure waves to stimulate the clitoris. A jeweled button on the device stimulates the strength of sensation that ranges from gentle kisses to a firm suction depending on the intensity level chosen.” Read more…