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Because someone who’s been on narcotics for two months is constipated because they’re fat. Obviously.

April 15th, 2014 14 comments

I was originally coming here to write a quick bulleted list of some shit that’s going on right now, but then we went to Rite Aid to pick up M’s prescription, and when we got home he told me some shit and now I’m kinda pissed. So, instead of a stupid, boring bulleted list, you get this rant, courtesy of the douchebag pharmacist at the Rite Aid down the street. All together now. “Thanks, douchebag!”

Let’s start at the beginning so you can appreciate how truly fucked up this experience has been for us.

A few months ago, M started having issues with his back. He says it started at the beginning of the year, but I think it may be related to the issues he was having as early as last summer; issues we wrote off as sciatica, and he decided to walk off. It worked, but now that he’s dealing with back issues, again, I’m beginning to wonder if that was a fluke, and he wasn’t dealing with the beginning of what’s going on now.

He went to the doctor in September, and they gave him a light pain med and a muscle relaxer, and when the refills ran out (and after walking 2.75 miles almost every day), he felt better. Read more…

Could feminazis be more ridiculous?

January 4th, 2014 Comments off

Youre-dumbOkay, so…this is nothing more than a short rant about feminazis.

For the record, when I say “feminazis,” I am not using the term to encompass all feminism. There are plenty of feminists and feminist allies who are in it for “the right reasons,” and I think they are amazing for all they do. Over all, I have no issues with feminism in its purist form, because I believe that true feminism is about giving women a choice, and elevating them to a status equal to that of men in all things, rather than dictating their lives for them or elevating them to a place of power over men. When I use the term “feminazis,” I’m discussing feminists and feminist allies whose activism is more about the latter.

Anyway…

Have you heard about the movie Her? It’s about a man who falls in love with his operating system, which is coded to meet his every need. So, in essence, the entire point of the movie is that the female character the man falls in love with is unrealistic and doesn’t exist.

Damn if a feminazi or two isn’t bitching that the movie doesn’t present a single realistic female character.

I mean, come on, y’all. Seriously?

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The Saga Continues…

June 5th, 2011 3 comments

First things first: Switching laptops (My old laptop got really close to dying so we bought a cheap one, for now, until we’re rich and can afford to buy me another Macbook. It’s actually pretty sweet. Fastest computer I’ve ever owned.) broke my personal email. I’m not kidding. I have no idea what’s going on. M hasn’t had time to look at it. All I know for certain is I can’t send anything. So! I am not ignoring you. I just have no other way to reach you. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

We’ve got new neighbors.

Shut up, you love my asshole neighbor stories. If only so you can sit in your quiet neighborhood thanking your deity that you don’t live here.

So let’s see… I told you about the scumbags who lived in the apartment we live in now who kept a giant pit bull locked up in the kitchen. Obviously, they’re gone. Read more…

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Overheard at the Bagel Shop: The Transformers Edition

March 9th, 2011 Comments off

“She wanted a Transformer,” she said, with an expression made of equal parts amusement and disgust. “So we got her a bracelet making kit.”

Uhm.

Master was in the bathroom. I repeated the remark in my head until I could put it in His phone when He got back so I could remember it when we got home. And when I typed the words in, I showed it to Him.

“You guys make too big a deal out of stuff like this. Most kids don’t even remember. The only reason they remember is because people like you make a big deal out of it.”

“I remember. When I was a kid I wasn’t allowed to play with boys toys, and I remember.” Read more…

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Some Things That are Driving Me Crazy

February 6th, 2011 4 comments

Disclaimer: None of the opinions I express here are reflective of the opinions of my owner, friends, co/guest bloggers, employers, coworkers, affiliates, or advertisers. (I think that covers everybody.) They are mine, and mine alone.

Thing 1 – Possessive Nouns

I try not to be a grammar Nazi. Heaven knows my grammar isn’t perfect. I suck at commas. I still mix up “affect” and “effect”. I only just learned when to use “past” and “passed”. But the amount of people who have no idea how to correctly write possessive nouns drives me absolutely insane. INSANE!

Let me start by pointing you to a website every writer should at least have bookmarked. It’s called Daily Writing Tips, and if they haven’t covered it already, write them, and they will. Read more…

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My disgustingly petty (and disgustingly disgusting) Twitter drama

January 16th, 2011 11 comments

So that chick who inspired 30 Days of Truth (which I have yet to start) was making obnoxious comments about some fat woman on Bridezillas today.

To which, I responded, “So? Whatever makes her happy/comfortable.”

Had she just said unhealthy, I probably would have let it drop. Had she just said unhealthy, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to punch her in the face. Had she just said unhealthy, I probably would’ve continued following her fat-hating ass, and blown it off. Read more…

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