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Rights and Responsibilities

April 29th, 2010 3 comments

This is actually in response to a post made by rayne named On Productivity, Insanity and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. For everything to be in context, it might be a good idea to give her post a quick read, if you haven’t already. Part of this post is a response directed at rayne, and some are general comments.

Limits and expectations are things that should be worked out prior to a collaring. Once someone has made a commitment, in my mind that commitment should be kept.

I know with rayne and I there was a good month (and more, this after our “courting” period) where I bothered her daily to make sure she understood what she was agreeing to. This was in person, not over the net or phone, and rayne was well aware of what she was agreeing to prior to being collared.

This is a matter of trust. There are always a lot of discussions about slaves being able to trust their Masters. Dominant men (and women) don’t corner the market on crazy. There are slaves every bit as dangerous, and unbalanced, as these crazy Masters.

Read more…

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The Final Destination

February 7th, 2010 Comments off

I read a post by kitti where she says:

It’s scary because of the recent changes. I’m not sure he knows where our final destination is.

That got me to thinking about Masters and their ultimate goals.

To be honest, I have no real destination in mind for rayne and I. Obviously, I will keep training her and continue to mold her into the slave I want. However, I have no specific goal in mind; no place I specifically want to be when we’re in our twilight years. There is just no check box labeled “Complete” in my mind.

A part of this is that, as people, we’re constantly changing. In the very beginning of our relationship the thought of having rayne service another man was abhorrent to me. At the time I felt there was no way I’d ever be comfortable with such a thing.

Then very soon after, while we were still initially discovering our sexuality together, an opportunity arose and I found that I wanted to take it. All in all it was a good experience and taught us both a lot. I would’ve never foreseen that had I thought about it just a year earlier.

I am still not the most spontaneous person in the world, but I’m sure rayne can attest to the fact that even in the years she’s known me I’ve changed a lot. I no longer need everything planned out in advance, and I’m able to “go with the flow” much more than I used to.

So what does that have to do with anything? I know there are things right now that I want to work on with rayne regarding her training. I’ll be working on verbal training via command words, for example, but the ultimate and final destination is still murky in my mind, and I’m finding that it sits just fine with me.

I find that it’s easier to concentrate on short and medium term goals, rather than stressing over the long term destination. I do think about the future, of course, but I’m flexible as far as how things turn out. One thing I know… I will be rayne’s Owner, Master and Husband, and rayne will be my property, slave and wife.

Anything in addition to that is just gravy.

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Work interferes, and an update on resolutions

January 24th, 2010 1 comment

It’s been over a week since I wrote Updates, G-spots and Resolutions, so I figured I’d write some updates. In short, I’m not doing too good at keeping them, thanks to my neverending work days, but it hasn’t been a total loss.

I did get a chance to take some pictures of rayne, and I’m hoping to take some more of her today (before, during, and post being beat with the knotty cat). I’m not having much luck with the twice a week resolution, but it’s still an improvement.

My blogging resolution is doing much better. This will be my second post in the past couple of weeks, which is a huge improvement over my normal once a year posting.

Everything else is still suffering, except for consistency. Despite my constantly busy work schedule, I’m still working on keeping my relationship with rayne fairly consistent. I’ve had to put off some of what I’ve wanted to do (such as the beating with the cat that she’ll be getting today), but for the most part I’ve been consistent with my expectations of her.

Which really brings me to something I had rayne post about already, which is that I work so much.

The company I work for has gone through alot of changes. I’ve always been a hard worker, which set the bar high for me from the beginning. In some ways, I did this to myself.

Read more…

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Updates, G-spots and Resolutions

January 9th, 2010 1 comment

Updates

We’ve recently applied alot of updates, so if anyone notices anything weird, please let us know. I’m pretty sure everything’s functioning correctly, but you never know.

That elusive spot

Over the past week another “study” was released saying that the g-spot may not biologically exist. At the moment that headline flew across my Twitter app, I knew there would be a ton of backlash. I got into a little discussion on Twitter about it, but it’s really hard to express thoughts 140 characters at a time.

In my mind, who really cares what the reports say. If that’s what gets you off, that’s what gets you off. Unless you’re a very gullible person, reports that the g-spot doesn’t exist isn’t going to change anything at all about your sex life.

What I assumed, correctly, is that it wouldn’t remain a scientific or biological issue, but would instead turn into a male/female issue, and that’s exactly what I saw happen. During the conversation on twitter, someone mentioned that men were always trying to tell women it’s all in their heads. And therein lies my issue with it.

Read more…

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Emotional Blackmail

May 30th, 2009 Comments off

We’ve all done it. We get into a fight with our significant other (be it in a vanilla relationship or not) and when things get heated the emotional blackmail comes into play. What started as a small disagreement suddenly turns into a relationship killer because one of the parties uses things such as “Then I’ll just leave and you won’t have to deal with me anymore!” or “I don’t want to be with you anymore, happy now?”.

The sad thing is that most times when these types of things are said it’s not something the one who said it is even considering. It’s just a heat of the moment type of utterance that can be one of the most long term damaging things someone in a relationship can do. More after the jump.

I used to go through this with rayne, even after she became my slave. We were both guilty of it. We would start arguing about something tiny (work, hers and mine, was a common topic). Before we knew it either she was saying she didn’t want to be a slave anymore, or I was standing at the door threatening to leave. In our relationship, this kind of reaction on both of our parts had lasting consequences that have not been easy to repair.

I’m guilty, being the Master, for allowing arguments to continue to that level, and that was something I had to accept and deal with internally. Unfortunately, being in control of another human being doesn’t mean that you have the right to just switch it off when things get tough. In fact, those are the times dominants need to be even more consistent and not allow the heat of the moment to damage an otherwise good relationship. Read more…

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Learning experience

October 5th, 2008 Comments off

I’m not very good at writing, to be honest; rayne is the writer. I felt the need to post something tho, because this was a very important, and painful, time in our relationship. This blog, I hope, will help someone someday while they’re working through tough times in their relationship. It’s not all about sex (hell, we have damn good sex, no problems there!). Your mileage may vary, as a disclaimer, because your relationship may be different.

I don’t want to get into a lot of detail, but I think that some detail would be appropriate, else there will be no frame of reference for anyone reading either of our blog entries.

Essentially what happened, due to many reasons (not the least of which is a breakdown of communication on both of our parts), rayne left while I was at work. The reason she left is that she was afraid. Some of this was due to my unthinking use of my mouth, and some is due to rayne not analyzing the situation and talking to me before it got too much for her to bear. She is back at home (and was back the same day), but it has left both of us raw.

I want to talk about this from 2 different point of views.

Those that have read the site know that we are Master and slave, as well as husband and wife. I’ve always thought the Master/slave part of our relationship was the more important of the two. I no longer think that, because I think each piece of our relationship offers us different things. On the Master/slave side is order, control, raw lust in a lot of cases, and on the husband/wife side is pure, unadulterated love, want and need for each others company. Sometimes the two overlap. Sometimes one takes precedence at a given time (i.e. if punishment is called for, I do not believe it’s appropriate for the “husband” to interfere, if that makes any sense). Read more…

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