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Much Needed Play

February 20th, 2010 Comments off

Last night I attended my first play party at NOBLE since Halloween.  I have been wanting to get back out and involved with the community here in New Orleans, but the drama and such that had exploded really deterred me a bit.  Needless to say, last night I put all of that aside and decided to go and have a good time.

I messaged a friend of mine Thursday and asked if she would be interested in going to the School Girl Party with me.  She made sure her schedule was clear and told me that she would.  We met up last night for margaritas before hand and got to catch up and talk about a few things that had been going on this week.  We headed to the space, both on the agreement that we weren’t going to play.  Boy, were we wrong.

We walked in and I introduced her to some of the people there before we went to change into our outfits.  I have to say, we looked so damn adorable as school girls.  We hung around for a while and I was naturally a brat.  I got two demerits for inappropriate behavior and such and got into trouble.  They even called my Daddy!  *pouts*  I got into more trouble by stealing a ruler and proceeding to antagonize my friend with it.  I had no idea that she had been placed as my surrogate Daddy and proceeded to pull the trump card of “give me the ruler.  If you keep disobeying me, you’re disobeying your Daddy since I’m your surrogate.”  Yeah, that’s a quick way to cure a bad girl.

A little more time passed, more mingling and me being a naughty girl, and I was threatened with being beaten with the ruler I had been trying to steal again.  My friend was given permission to break the ruler over my ass.  And break the ruler she did.   We had also met with a friend of hers as well as a good friend of Daddy and my Lady.  He aided my friend in shackling my wrists and rigging me, with rope, to a pulley that was hanging over head above us.  She began to strike me with the ruler on my ass that was still covered by my panties and my skirt.  I figured I was safe, but that was only the beginning.  Read more…

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Now You See Me, Now You Don’t

February 12th, 2010 2 comments

First off, I want to begin by apologizing to rayne and Melen for taking so damn long to post here again.  My life has gotten rather hectic since school started.  My family life isn’t all that great right now either and there’s just a lot of tension I’m dealing with.

I apologize to all of you out there too who read what I have to say.  The site wouldn’t be what it is without you guys reading our posts!  So, I apologize for lack of substance.  I’m going to update you all on what’s going on in my world because, right now, I have no idea where to begin with everything that I want to write out.

For starters, everything with Will is going great.  Our relationship has actually begun to blossom into something that is much deeper and more wonderful than I could ever have expected or hoped for.  He and I have grown closer in the wake of being apart from each other and we are discovering more about ourselves as individuals as well as our relationship.  There is also the potential for permanence as my Lady put it.  So, needless to say, our relationship is grand and things are absolutely wonderful.

My family is driving me insane.  My mother and I are at the point where we’re just not speaking to each other much at the moment.  She’s too stressed out and tired all the time to be bothered with taking an interest in me.  And that’s fine.  She’ll realize how much she misses me when I move, right?  Right.  The tension is just insane, but I’ll get through it.  I have to.  I only have roughly 10 months left living here at home.

School is brutal this semester.  I mean, the classes aren’t really tough, but they’re highly time consuming.  I’m studying almost all the time and trying to get the grades I need to stay afloat.  I’ve gotten an interview process going for a Management job, so I’m hoping that works out for me too.

I apologize for being so busy, guys.  I promise promise promise I’ll do better.

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Exploration Pt. 2 – Pride of Place

January 14th, 2010 Comments off

Polyamory is a new thing for me.  I have always been in monoromantic relationships until now.  In the past I was burned on the idea of poly due to idiotic partners who explained poly as him being able to sleep with whomever he wished whenever he wished when I could do nothing but remain loyal to him.  That’s not poly, that’s being a slut.  Not a good slut, but a nasty one.

The relationship I am in now is one I never thought I could be comfortable in.  I am the second in his life and will always be second to his wife, but I don’t feel like a second would.  He devotes time and gives me the attention he gives to his wife.  He makes sure that I am alright and that my world is fine and dandy before he goes off to do the things that he needs to get done.  Whenever he and I make plans to be together for a weekend or go out on a date I always make sure that she is perfectly fine with us spending some alone time together.  Most of the time the three of us spend time together and I enjoy that time greatly.

Last weekend I hit a brick wall for a moment.  I was faced with the realization that he was going to possibly play with another sexually.  Now, I don’t mind this at all and I understand that it is going to happen from time to time, but it upset me a little bit because of how I had been burned in the past.  I spoke with a friend about it and both he and his wife comforted me and made sure I was doing alright.  I sat and further spoke with a friend of theirs who is slowly becoming a great friend to me.

I told her my worries and concerns and she tapped the necklace that I wear every day.  I haven’t taken it off except to sleep and shower since he gave it to me for Christmas.  She told me of pride of place and I asked her what exactly she meant.  She told me that no matter what he does or who he plays with during the course of the night that at the end of it he is coming to bed with me and B.  We talked a bit more and I began to grasp what she meant and understand just exactly how different my relationship is now in relation to those in the past.  Read more…

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Exploration Pt. 1

January 14th, 2010 2 comments

Duct Tape/Cling Film Dress created by a friend. And yes, that's me 🙂

Yes, I disappeared for a little while again.  I know, I’m a bad girl.  I should be spanked.  Really, I wouldn’t object.  Alright…maybe just a wee bit.

I’ve been dealing with quite a bit this past week.  I came home from my fabulous weekend with my Daddy to hear horrible news of a dear friend of mine’s murder.  Trust me.  It’s been one HELL of a roller coaster.  I’m not going to dwell on the sad news, but rather the good news since that’s what you readers out there want to read.

Daddy (yes, he came out and said, boldly, that he is my Daddy) and I spent the weekend together this one past.  It was a wonderful end to the break and a great start to my semester.  Last weekend was the weekend we had agreed to explore together and experience my full submission physically.  It turned out better than I think he and I both expected.

For starters, when I arrived at their house on Friday afternoon I was put to work.  It felt good to fall into my role as their submissive to easily.  I find great release and joy in serving and have always had a desire to explore domestic service.  I got my chance and I felt right at home.  I cleaned while they both ran errands and made last minute preparations for the party we were having that night.  When he came home it was just so perfect.  I was listening to my iPod and just dancing around with the broom when he walked through the door and kissed me.  It was perfect because the song that was playing right when he grabbed me was “I Got a Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas.  And yes, it was a sign that the night was going to be fabulous indeed.

He pulled me to him and kissed me so deeply that I was lost.  I felt the world just slip away and I melted into him.  He slid his hands down my back and slipped my pants off.  I pressed myself against him a bit and he threw me over the back of a chair before he assaulted my pussy with his fingers.  I was soaked waiting for him.  He hadn’t let me touch myself for two days.  I was dripping juice down my legs and his fingers.  And then he commanded me cum, right then and there in the foyer…and I did.  My knees nearly buckled beneath me as I came on him and he just smiled before slapping my ass and going to the kitchen to start cooking.  Read more…

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He Asked For It!

December 30th, 2009 2 comments

“Look at it this way.  I am telling you to use your imagination to please me.  I won’t hold it against you or be angry with you.  It will give me pleasure for you to serve me. ”

In my most recent post I used butterflies to symbolize the change in my life.  I am starting to think I should get a butterfly permanently tattooed on my body because things are ever changing.  My relationship with Will is turning into something we never planned for or intended in the beginning.  The initial aim of our relationship was purely going to be platonic sex.  Well, we realized that there was much more there than just a relationship of casual sex.  We became and are lovers.  Now he has asked something of me that I never imagined.

He and I sat and talked in the sun room last weekend over coffee.  It’s what we do on a Sunday morning after I’ve spent the night with him.  We were just chatting and snuggling when I looked up at him and said with sincerity “you are the first person I have felt completely comfortable around.  You are the first person I have fully given myself to.”  He smiled and kissed me.  And it’s true.  I never gave myself fully to Tab because I didn’t trust him.  I never fully gave myself to anyone else, for that matter, because I never felt as though I could be free to be me.  I am highly complex and cannot be defined by even a conundrum of terms.  I have always had to reserve who I am and compromise for my partners of the past.  Things are different now.  Much different.

I have been friends with his wife for over a year now and she has seen my worst moments.  The ones before I moved back home to New Orleans.  She never once judged me and always encouraged me to be who I am, flaws and all.  I was always afraid to, but I found that living with these flaws and accepting them helped me to mend them and better myself.  When she and I met face to face about two months ago I was a different person and I am different even today.  The fact of the matter is that she is pretty much the only person that knew me then and stuck with me.  She is the first person I felt fully comfortable being me around.  And she still is along with her husband.

I have training in high protocol and service.  I learned from Gabriel while I was under his mentorship.  Granted, I haven’t learned everything I know from him, but a lot of my mannerisms and the way I hold myself come from him and being a member of his House.  When I fully let go, I am completely subservient.  Alright, mostly.  I still retain my attitude and my right to say “screw you, I am NOT blowing the dog.” Read more…

Butterflies

December 28th, 2009 3 comments

butterflies_-_02-800x600I have an intense fear of butterflies.  It is so bad that walking through a butterfly garden at the Zoo will make me cringe and want to crawl out of my skin.  I have never understood why I am so afraid of butterflies until last night.  Butterflies signify change and, quite frankly, I am afraid of most change.  The change that I am afraid of has nothing to do with a change in my life with new experiences and newly opened doors.  My fear has to do with the familiar things in my life changing.  And boy are they.

The family that I belong to is slowly falling apart and it is hurting my heart so very much.  I am not happy with what it has become and boiled down to.  All of the accusations of liars, backstabbers, hurt feelings, and he said/she said is getting to me.  There isn’t one moment when every person in the family is content and happy with the other.  That’s how a family is, I know, but this goes beyond just normal “I can’t stand you” nonsense.  This has to do with months of accumulation and lack of expression of feelings.  It has to do with there being disregard for those feelings.  It has to do with the fact that when I became a part of this House it was such a joy to my life.  Now, it has become something that I get quiet about and don’t really speak much about.

I first became a part of the House with my former Master, Tab.  He and I were welcomed with open arms and acceptance of who we are.  Neither he nor I have the experience our superiors have, but we were willing to learn.  Tab burned his bridges and was removed from the family, not because he ended our relationship.  The night after our break up, I was given protection, security, and a sense of hope that things would get better in my life.  The collar of protetion was my beam of light in the dark tunnel I had found myself feeling around.  His words and his love picked me up.  Everyone else showered me with love and affection.  I had a great family.  Everything was wonderful.

And then things began to change.

After the initial weekend of being a part of the family, things began to turn into something I never thought imaginable.  There was so much drama that I didn’t even know about that I had suddenly inherited.  And then the drama poured in to involve me when I had done nothing to deserve it, in my eye.  All I did was try to provide and do for my family as I was required to do.  And then one night I got the cold shoulder and was hurt in one of the most awful ways possible.  I was disregarded until the end of the night.  I hate feeling insignificant, I really do.

After much debate and thought, I have decided to make a change to my life.  A change that some of you probably did not see coming.  Read more…

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