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What’s it like, dating a MtF crossdresser? Kayla has the answer.

January 25th, 2010 1 comment

Kayla, you said Jor is a crossdresser.  Could you tell us a little about how that works for you guys?

Living with a male is one thing – the socks on the floor, the lack of any cleanliness, and the fact that most males eat about everything in sight.  So how do you avoid dating a male like that? Find a crossdresser.

Jor is in love with crossdressing.  It’s honestly his favorite thing.  In the beginning, it really was forced feminisation, but now it really isn’t.  His female half of the closet takes up a lot more room than my own clothes do.  We’re almost-always on the look out for new clothes for him to add to his collection.  While I treat clothes like the clothes they just are, he is comforted by owning new outfits, and it keeps him happy.

It becomes the best way to reward him really.  A new corset or some pretty underwear really makes his day.  If you let him dress up, then he’s even happier.  He loves being my “naughty little girl”, and I love treating him like one.  I stored away all of his male boxers – he only has female panties anymore.  Every night before bed, he changes out of his day clothes and into silk nighties.  (It’s so much nicer to sleep next to silk than any other material – I can’t say I want to complain too much about that.)

I’m not particularly turned on by jor’s crossdressing.  It’s just something that’s a part of him.  When I first met him and he told me, I wasn’t turned off – it was just interesting to meet someone who enjoyed it.  To this day, it’s still not a huge turn-on.  It’s cute, and I love it when he’s dressed up because it just makes him glow from happiness, but it’s not a sexual factor to me.  Instead, it’s more of a matter of pride.  I love knowing that he dresses up so well.  I love people thinking he really was a girl until he ended up speaking.  I love taking him out in public and guys will attempt to flirt with him.

Of course, that presents the problem that he hasn’t learned to pick up a feminine voice yet.  Aside from that, though, he’s doing well with the dressing itself.  His make-up skills are a little lacking, but he’s learning.  He walks better in heels than I do.

As for daily life, it really doesn’t impact it much.  Unless you count having a boyfriend running around in heels and dresses.  He likes to be my “little housewife”, so he’ll do all of the chores, does the shopping, and cleans the apartment.  I do take care of the finances, though.  It’s different living with a crossdresser.  Not in a bad way.  If he doesn’t get new clothes once in awhile, he’ll get moody.  He gets more excited over a pair of cute heels then the idea of having sex.  Overall, it works for us, but it’s an interesting experience.  I almost consider it like having a female slave that happens to have a penis.  (Besides the fact “she” loves video games.)

It’s probably not something that will be changing very soon.  He considers crossdressing to be his main fetish, and honestly, I’m just more comfortable with him in feminine clothes than male ones because that’s what makes him happy.  That’s what makes him glow.  (And I can snap his bra strap. And that’s fun.)  It’s who we are, and I love it. 🙂

Female Dominant/Male Slave? Kayla Talks About Her Dynamic

January 11th, 2010 2 comments

Here on Insatiable Desire, we’re overrun with male dominants and female submissives.  But what’s it look like on the other side? Is there really any difference? We asked Kayla, from, to give us a bit of insight into her mistress/slave relationship.  This is what she had to say:

My slave and I live in a 24/7 household. The only difference being from the majority is that my slave is male unlike most of the female slaves. Sometimes it feels like we’re at a disadvantage because more books and advice is geared toward the female slave, but we’ve managed it so far.

My name is Kayla, and his is jor. Or skank. Or slave. Or whatever I feel like calling him at the moment. You see, jor is male, but he enjoys crossdressing, so I have a whole variety of names at my disposal. I’d say he probably takes it a level further with his crossdressing since it’s almost a 24/7 thing (usually only in the house, though sometimes out of it), but I have no problem with it. I’m a bigger girl, and he’s a little skinny thing, so any cute clothes I couldn’t wear, I can stick on him. He’s like my personal Barbie.

Our relationship started after dating vanilla for awhile. He confessed his crossdressing fetish to me; I confessed my watersports fetish to him. We knew we’d already be doing some kinky things, but one day, as I was walking my paper route with him, he mentioned wanting to be owned. After a short discussion, he asked, and I agreed to own him.

Of course, it wasn’t owned in the traditional BDSM sense, but it has been refined to that after a couple of years. We bought a little “Sexy slave kit” from a store and experimented with bondage. I used to give him orders that he had to obey. Regardless of those things, we never really got into all of BDSM until we moved away to college.

Now that we live together 24/7 and attend two local BDSM groups, we really learned what it was like to be a BDSM couple. We’ve refined our lives and our techniques, and you wouldn’t believe how many different skills you can learn if you just bother to pay attention. I’ve learned the basics of most of everything, although still learning a lot of the finer points of rope bondage.

On a daily basis, you’d know that there was a power difference, but it is definitely not apparent. He doesn’t hang around in chest harnesses and covered in rope. He does, however, have to ask for permission to use the bathroom or be sure that all of my needs are met before he is allowed to hop onto his video game console or do his homework. He’s in charge of all of the chores of the house, and he doesn’t hold a job. I, however, hold a job and prefer to be in charge of the finances, so all of this works out to our advantage.

We do attend a high-protocol Master/slave group, but when when we’re here at the apartment, it isn’t very high on protocol. He knows his rules, and he knows if he disobeys them, he’ll have a punishment. He has a nightly ritual to get ready for bed, and a morning one is impossible due to differing college schedules. (You’d be amazed at how much college gets in the way of BDSM)

Either way, it is a little different from what I’m used to seeing from female slaves, but not in a bad way. I can always just save the differences for a future post. I’m excited to be guest posting here and even more excited about learning more about everyone else.

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