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Valentine’s Day is Every Day

February 14th, 2019 Leave a comment Go to comments

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So yesterday, M’s coworker asked him what we’re doing for Valentine’s Day.

M said, “Nothing.”

We live paycheck to paycheck and M gets paid on the 15th and 30th every month, so our Valentine’s Days usually look like this:
Wake up around 8:30am. Smooch and snuggle in bed for a few minutes.
I get up and make breakfast for us and the cats.
M gets up when breakfast is ready and starts working, eating while he works.
I clean.
I read.
I tweet.
I write.
I make lunch and M eats while he works.
I hang out with the cats.
I talk to M when he’s got a free moment.
I play video games.
One of us makes dinner. If we’re lucky, M gets to stop working, but that’s rare. Often, he eats dinner while he works.
We usually have sex.
We watch TV or a movie or play video/board/card games.
We go to bed.

If you’re thinking this looks like a pretty normal day, that’s because it is. This is what we do pretty much every day, right down to M working through every meal and working late.

Every once in a while, if we have the money and forethought, we’ll buy a bottle of wine and something for dinner that we really like but can’t always afford. But most of the time, since it’s the last day in the same pay period as our rent, we just don’t have the money to do something on Valentine’s Day.

This year, we just happen to have all the fixins for eggplant parm. I bought everything in the beginning of the pay period, and completely forgot about it, and we’re getting close to having to cook the eggplant before it goes bad. I was going to make it yesterday, but I shoveled the deck and driveway by myself (M was too busy with work to help, and I don’t mind doing it) and was too tired to cook.

So by accident, we’re cooking together tonight, which is one of my absolute favorite things to do. But it’s literally by accident. We had 0 plans to do anything special for Valentine’s Day. And neither of us really cared.

M’s coworker was shocked. He couldn’t understand how M “gets away with” not going all out on Valentine’s Day.

And I just don’t get it. It’s just a day. Some say it’s a day created by the jewelry and candy industries to drum up sales.

“But it’s about celebrating your love for your partner.”

Why do we need a special day for that?

“If I tried to do that,” M’s coworker said, “I’d be divorced.”

That is fucked up, Daisy.

Maybe it’s because the first years of our relationship, we lived in poverty, and we had to get used to celebrating things after they happened because we didn’t have the money. Maybe it’s because neither of us have ever really put any emphasis on any specific day outside of birthdays and our anniversary (and M LOVES Thanksgiving). Maybe (for me) it’s because my first “serious” relationship started with a rose in my locker on Valentine’s Day and ended because he literally didn’t have time for me outside of school and church. But Valentine’s Day has never really been that big of a deal to us.

M’s reason is simple. “Every day is Valentine’s Day for us. We celebrate our love every day.”

Isn’t he sweet? I love him so much. Way more than he loves me. 😉

If you don’t have a date today, so what? If you don’t care about Valentine’s Day, that’s fine. If you love Valentine’s Day and doing nice things for your partner to make them feel loved on that day, that’s fine, too! But please…do yourself a favor. Don’t make or break a relationship based on what your partner does on Valentine’s Day. It truly isn’t that serious.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all. <3

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  1. Luna
    February 15th, 2019 at 17:31 | #1

    KM and I are the same. We usually try to go out to lunch around Valentine’s Day but anything else is just extra. A couple times I’ve received flowers (but the cats attack them so I can’t enjoy them), candy (but most of the boxed chocolates I can’t eat) or cards (something that KM hates looking for). This year we went out to lunch, I got him a gift and pampered him for the evening. It was for him, but I enjoyed it too. 🙂

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