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NS(K)Q: Q69 – Disappearing Mistress

January 16th, 2017

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 69:

Recently, my mistress and I went from d/s to m/s. I’ve never been a slave before, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Problem is, now that I’m a “slave,” she just up and disappears for weeks without giving me any indication of where she’s going, or how long she’ll be gone. Or she’ll tell me she’s going to the store, and show back up at my house three days later. She doesn’t call, or take/return my calls while she’s gone. Is this normal? Because I don’t know if I can be a slave if this is normal.

No, this is not normal.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship.

Imma say it again for the people in the back.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship.

In fact, I’d even go so far as to suggest that being the M in a M/s relationship means the M has more responsibility to the s than they would in a typical D/s relationship.

Not everyone is going to agree with me, here. I know that some D/s relationships work a lot like most M/s relationships, in that the s needs permission for things, and guidance in their day to day activities. But you see that more in M/s than D/s. At least, in my experience.

Obviously, I don’t know how your relationship works, but in my relationship, I’m required to ask permission before I leave the house, or buy anything (among other things). You can only do so much grocery shopping at one time, due to money constraints and shelf life. If my M left me for weeks at a time with no communication, I’d eventually run out of food and have no choice but to disobey his rules in order to eat. Especially if he did it without giving me notice so I could make a shopping trip first.

Besides that, it’s just rude. What if something happened to her? What if something happened to you?

In your place, I’d sit your mistress down and explain your concerns. Let her know that this behavior is unacceptable to you, and you can’t remain her slave if this is business as usual for her. Where it goes from there depends on her response an.

I’m sorry you’re in this position. I hope things work out for the best. <3

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