Home > No Stupid (Kink) Questions > NS(K)Q: Q65 (part 2) – Can a M/s dynamic exist when consent is revoked? (TW)

NS(K)Q: Q65 (part 2) – Can a M/s dynamic exist when consent is revoked? (TW)

April 29th, 2016

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 65 (part 2):

Original post here. Can a master/slave dynamic exist once the slave revokes consent?

I realized after I posted the last NS(K)Q that I didn’t answer one of the questions asked. Can a master/slave dynamic exist once the slave revokes consent?

In truth, the only real answer here is “it depends.”

There are all sorts of variables, and all sorts of definitions of what a “master/slave dynamic” really is. Whether or not the dynamic can continue to exist depends entirely on the people involved.

Did the person revoke consent for a specific act, or the entire dynamic? Obviously, if they revoked consent for the entire dynamic, the dynamic is effectively dead. Power exchange cannot legally exist without consent. Period.

However, if consent is only revoked for one act, it’s possible the dynamic can continue depending on the couple’s agreement.

Does the relationship have a “total power exchange” (TPE) dynamic? If so, revoking consent for any act could conceivably kill the dynamic. You can’t really have TPE if the party giving over power retains some power. By definition, that’s not “total” power. However, some couples in which the bottom has retained the right to limits still consider themselves to have a TPE dynamic outside of those limits. If that’s the case, revoking consent for one act would be the same as setting limits, and wouldn’t necessarily negate the dynamic.

Do the people involved participate in consent to non-consent (CNC) play or relationship dynamics? As with a TPE dynamic, how the relationship and/or dynamic are affected depends on the couple’s definition. If CNC is relegated to specific acts, revoking consent for one act is less likely to affect the relationship as a whole. If CNC covers the entire relationship, revoking consent for any act could conceivably kill the CNC dynamic. But also like TPE, it doesn’t have to. It just depends on the people involved.

However, if you remember, this question was asked in relation to a slave who revoked consent for sex and was sexually assaulted by her owner. In her case, I feel like her owner effectively killed the dynamic by violating her trust and their agreement. And I really hope she decided to get help.

If you or someone you know is being abused, please contact The National Domestic Abuse Hotline for help. WARNING: Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your internet usage might be monitored, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

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