Home > No Stupid (Kink) Questions > NS(K)Q: Q65 – Can a slave be sexually assaulted? (TW)

NS(K)Q: Q65 – Can a slave be sexually assaulted? (TW)

April 15th, 2016

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 65:

A friend of mine says she was raped by her owner. She says she didn’t want to have sex, so she told him she didn’t want to have sex, and he tied her down and had sex with her anyway.

When she brought it up to someone she trusted within their munch group, they told her that she wasn’t raped. They said a slave isn’t allowed to say no or revoke consent, and her owner had the right to do whatever he wanted.

Are they right? Can a slave say no? Can a master/slave dynamic exist once the slave revokes consent? Can a slave be raped? Should my friend be going to the police?

Legally, anyone can say no any time they want.

Anyone can revoke consent for anything at any time. If and when someone revokes consent, the person they are interacting with must stop what they are doing immediately and regain consent before resuming the act for which consent was revoked.

This includes consensual non-consent slaves.

Situations like these are probably the single most important reason so many people within the BDSM community insist on safe words.

Some people on both sides of the slash enjoy playing with boundaries. Tops like to push beyond a “no” (with consent) to see how far the bottom will allow them to go. Bottoms like to be pushed beyond a “no” to test the limitations of their bodies and minds. I’m sure there are countless other reasons, but these are the ones I hear most often.

Employing a safe word (or a safe signal if the bottom is gagged) gives a bottom who enjoys saying “no” when they mean “yes” a way to make it abundantly clear that they are not okay with what’s going on. When a safe word is spoken, there is no question whether or not the bottom means “no.”

Whether or not your friend was in a consent to non-consent relationship, and whether or not they employed a safe word in their dynamic, she clearly meant no when she said it. Her owner violated her trust and sexually assaulted her.

Unfortunately, she is the one who has to decide whether or not to go to the police. Here are some links to help you help her:

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