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Archive for February, 2016

NS(K)Q: Q60 – Poly Valentine’s Day

February 12th, 2016 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 60:

I’ve been collared by my dom for almost a year, now. This is our first Valentine’s Day together. We’ve been poly since day one, and both of us were poly before we met because neither of us really enjoys monogamy. Until recently, though, neither of us was seeing anyone else.

Now we both have secondary partners, but have agreed that our relationship with each other comes first. And then he made plans for Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend without consulting me. I wouldn’t mind, except it appears that she’s managed to figure out a way to monopolize the entire day, rather than share it with me, and my dom is all, “First come, first serve, Jellybean.” I made plans with my girlfriend, too, but they were only for a small part of the day, as I figured my dom would want to spend some time with me on Valentine’s Day. I guess I was wrong.

I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling snubbed and unwanted, and I keep thinking…if he likes her so much more, why doesn’t he just go be with her? I’ve never been in a poly relationship like this, where the girlfriend intentionally tried to push me out. Can you help me?

I’ll do my best with what information I have.

So if it were me, I’d be reacting very similarly. I understand the snubbed and unwanted feeling. It can be hard to share special days with your partner’s other partners, and doubly so since this is your first Valentine’s Day together. Read more…

Kinktionary: Kajira

February 11th, 2016 Comments off

3315588636_cabfc93c90_zKajira is the Gorean word for a female pleasure slave. In Gorean tradition, a kajira must do everything in her power to bring her owner pleasure. This ranges from cooking and cleaning, to sensual dances, to sex. However, the life of a real life kajira looks very different than that of a kajira in the books.

In the books, a kajira’s duties are not limited to her master alone. A slave is a slave is a slave. Kajirae (the plural form) are required to defer to all Free People regardless of gender or ownership. While all slaves are owned by someone (a slaver, a private owner, a paga tavern, etc.), it’s considered bad manners to deny someone the service of your slave. This means that often Gorean slaves are raped by strangers while running errands for their owners, which leads to the slave being punished for being late. It’s rare that the Free Man is punished for the rape, but when he is, it’s usually for “theft of goods.”

This is not the case with real life kajirae, because in real life, slavery is illegal and anyone claiming the slave title retains the right to consent.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

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NS(K)Q: Q59 – She’s pushing my hard limits.

February 5th, 2016 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 59:

I have this one unusual hard limit. I bring it up with every single person I intend to have sex with, whether or not I expect kink to enter the equation. It’s really silly. Most people laugh when I mention it. But I am firm on it. I just can’t do it.

Recently, my relationship dynamic has gone from play partner to full-time submissive. I was very clear that my hard limits stayed the same, but my mistress keeps pushing. She says that if I’m to be hers, I need to trust her to push my boundaries. It’s making me uncomfortable. What should I do?

A hard limit is a hard limit is a hard limit. It doesn’t matter how silly other people think your hard limit is. All that matters is you don’t want to do it.

It’s frustrating to me that your mistress used the old “trust me to push your boundaries” line, because in a sense, she’s right. You should be able to trust her to push your boundaries. But that’s not on you. That’s on her. She has to be a trustworthy dominant if you’re going to trust her. Read more…

Kintionary: Gor

February 4th, 2016 Comments off

Tarnsman_of_gor_vallejo_coverIn a series of fictional novels written by John Norman, there exists a spaceship, of sorts, that is of similar shape, size, and climate to planet Earth. That ship is called Gor, or Counter-Earth.

Gor is said to orbit the sun in such a way that makes it invisible to those who inhabit Earth. This allows the creatures controlling Gor (Priest-Kings) and the humans who inhabit Gor to abduct people from Earth and force them into slavery. Generally speaking, the people abducted are female, and the slavery is sexual in nature.

From this series, an almost cultish fandom has formed, inspiring internet chatrooms, Second Life worlds, relationship dynamics, and even whole communities of people who choose to apply Gorean philosophies and customs to their real lives.

For some, the Gorean lifestyle is simply role-play; a way to scratch an itch (the master/slave relationship or sexual dynamic) they don’t feel comfortable scratching as themselves. For others, Gor is a way of life.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

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Winning Arguments With Kung Fu Panda

February 3rd, 2016 Comments off

La kajira. I am a pleasure slave. I am trained in the ways of the Gorean slave, and the core of my training is “be pleasing.”

The definition of “pleasure,” as you may know, varies from person to person. So, too, does the definition of “pleasure slave.” For some, “pleasure slave” is exclusive to bedroom activities. For some, “pleasure slave” extends to every part of the slave’s life. Regardless the dynamic, one thing remains constant: a pleasure slave must learn to identify things that bring the slave owner pleasure.

So I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when I noticed Master resisting my suggestions at every turn.

Most recent development in his weirdness: the Kung Fu Panda movies.

When they first came out, he absolutely refused to watch them. Said they looked incredibly stupid, and he couldn’t understand why they were so popular.

I insisted that he’d like them.

He resisted.

Kung Fu Panda 3 previews hit the TV, and all of a sudden he wanted to watch the first two.

Guess who laughed hysterically and is now eating his hat.

That’s all I have to say about that. 😜

💜