Home > No Stupid (Kink) Questions > NS(K)Q: Q50 – Master doesn’t like my fetish.

NS(K)Q: Q50 – Master doesn’t like my fetish.

June 19th, 2015

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 50:

There’s this thing that I need to be fully satisfied. My master is not at all into it. In fact, it kind of disgusts him. He loves me and doesn’t want to give me up, and I’m not interested in going anywhere, either. I don’t know what to do. HALP!

That’s a tough situation.

Some folks in the lifestyle would tell you it’s just tough all around. Many believe a slave’s purpose is to serve and please their owner without the expectation of being fulfilled in return. These people would say slaves don’t have a specific right or entitlement to wish fulfillment. Any fulfillment allowed by their owner should be considered a gift and cherished as such.

And while that’s technically true, one thing that Master and I have found throughout our journey is that a slave who is fulfilled and happy functions much better than a slave who is not. We are, after all, still people, with feelings and desires and needs, and this is consensual slavery. Strapping a collar around our necks doesn’t negate those things.

There are a couple things you could do, but the most important is discussing this thing you need with your owner. Explain to him what you get out of it. Make his position in your life clear, and let him know that you would much prefer he assist you with this desire. And then lay out the options you’ve come up with, giving him a say in how you move forward.

The answer that will probably provoke the least amount of jealousy or bad feelings is you handling this need yourself with sex toys and out of his view. This would minimize his affiliation with the act, allowing you to be fulfilled without grossing him out.

Another option is opening the relationship. People hear this and get all freaked out. “OMG! I’m not enough/good enough. My partner doesn’t love/need/want me.” It may take a lot communication, and reassurances, but you can get past this if this is something the two of you want.

Opening the relationship does not necessarily have to mean the two of you are allowed to do whatever you want with whoever you want. It can mean you open the relationship to specific people screened by the two of you. It can also mean that you just seek out a ‘service top’ (or even a service submissive, if that’s what you’d prefer) to provide this thing you need that your owner doesn’t enjoy.

If these two options won’t work, the next step is trying to find ways for you to be fulfilled without this thing. I know right now that seems impossible because you’re so focused on trying to get this thing that imagining ways to get over this thing is daunting and emotional. But it is possible. Life (and especially relationships) is full of compromises.

Maybe there’s something that trips your switch just as hard, and you just haven’t discovered it, yet. Do some research on similar fetishes with your partner, and see if you can find one by which you’re both equally turned on.

I’m sure there are millions of other options, if you really put your mind to it. Ultimately, it’s just a matter of finding what’s going to work for the two of you. Good luck!

Comments are closed.
%d bloggers like this: