Home > Rayne > Happy belated birthday to meeeeeee! And stuff.

Happy belated birthday to meeeeeee! And stuff.

April 13th, 2015

My birthday was last Monday. I am no longer lying when I tell people I’m 35.

I don’t know why I was so excited about 35. And now I am 35, and I’m all, “Haha I’m 35 and you’re not!” only just in my head because I’m pretty sure that if I started saying it to people for real, they’d think I’m crazier than they already think I am.

Hint: I am.

Literally the only thing I wanted for my birthday was uninterrupted time with Master. Since his surgery last year, he’s been working nights and weekends constant. He never stops checking his phone. Damn near every time we’re playing a game, or walking, or having sex, he has to stop so he can handle some work thing.

And if it was just that no one else can do parts of his job (which is true), I might not mind it so much, but at least half the calls he gets are because his new coworkers don’t like calling anyone else because M’s other coworkers are dicks. I mean, they’re not all dicks all the time, but they are all the type who think it’s okay to be a dick when someone asks a ‘stupid’ question. So instead of dealing with being talked down to, the new guys call M because M’s a professional and he doesn’t do that.

What’s even more frustrating is the new guys have said as much in front of the old guys and M’s immediate boss, and the only thing that’s happened is one of our friends told the new guys to stop calling M first. They haven’t changed their attitudes. The boss hasn’t stepped in. Just, “Deal with us being dicks. #sorrynotsorry” Like…for real?


So M took off Friday, Monday, and Tuesday for my birthday, and told his coworkers he was unavailable unless it was an absolute emergency that no one could handle. Which really could have served two purposes (getting him the much needed time off, and teaching them that they can survive without him most of the time), but ultimately only served one because they’re right back to calling M first now that he’s back. After working overnight this past Friday, they called him at 6:30am about something someone else could handle. Luckily, he was dead to the world and slept right through it.

But I did get my time alone with him. And it was glorious. And pretty much all we did was kill zombies and have sex. I know that sounds boring to some folks, but the Friday before my birthday, the developers came out with a huge update that completely changed the game. I was more excited about that than any other thing I’d tossed out as a celebration idea. M kept asking me if I wanted to do something else, but I didn’t. I just wanted to kill zombies.

On my birthday, M had roses delivered to the house, which was a complete surprise, and he cooked all day. Which made me cry. Mostly because he baked me a carrot cake from scratch even though he didn’t think he was going to like it because carrot cake is my favorite and I’ve never had a carrot cake for my birthday. I asked for fish and chips with sweet potato fries instead of white, which is a complete deviation.

Growing up, my parents always took us out to dinner for our birthday, and I always went to Olive Garden. I don’t know, though, if that was just because I knew everyone liked Olive Garden or because I actually wanted to eat there. I mean, back then, Olive Garden was delicious, and it was semi-new, and I loved their cake, but we had Italian a lot because it’s what my mother knew how to cook. I feel like I would have happily eaten somewhere else if I wasn’t such a people pleaser.

But fish? Fish is usually so far off my radar. Until recently, I hadn’t eaten fish since my biological grandfather died. I’m pretty sure it was psychological, because before then, I LOVED fish. I mean, I was raised by fishermen. Of course I loved fish. And yet, here I am asking for fish on my birthday. And then the other day, when we were grocery shopping, I asked for fish again. Weirdness.

So M’s presents were five days of alone time, scratch made vanilla ice cream, carrot cake (with scratch made frosting), omelets with leftover ham from Easter, fish and chips, and beautiful roses. Foodie? Who? Me? Surely, you jest. And then we had crazy monkey sex. It was glorious.

My dad sent me a music box. It’s so pretty. And it came with a little key and a charm that is supposed to go on the key but I really liked it so I asked M if I could add it to my necklace. You know…the one that started as my collar, and now is still a collar of sorts, so technically I wear two collars 24/7. I expected a no, but he said yes! And I wasn’t really sure what to make of it.

Not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, I immediately clipped the charm to my chain, and began the waiting game. Yesterday, he came up behind me while I was making breakfast and said, “I have bad news for you.”

You really should never start a conversation with M or me that way. And if he hadn’t immediately told me that the ‘bad news’ was that I had to take the charm off, I would have for sure just freaked the fuck out. I started to panic the second the words were out of his mouth. But then he said, “I don’t want that charm on your necklace. We’ll figure out something else to do with it, but that necklace doubles as a collar, and I just don’t like it.”

I didn’t even get upset. I knew it was coming. I was completely shocked that he had said yes in the first place. I feel like this is a huge step for me, though, because even just a year ago, I would have been arguing with him over it even though I’m not really bothered by it.

So now, I think I’m owed a charm bracelet. Don’t you?


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  1. Heaven
    April 14th, 2015 at 09:17 | #1

    Happy belated birthday to you, I hope you had a wonderful one.

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