Archive for March, 2015

On S.W.A.G. (Sex With A Grudge) and Murdering Vaginas

March 10th, 2015 2 comments

mi7gDc2IpRd3iWK-EcMDDwgIf you’ve ever been in a corner store in any urban area, you’ll notice there are a few constants. Cigars no one in their right mind would smoke1, alcohol, condoms, and male enhancement pills.

I mean, yay, we’re moving forward, huh? Condoms are now seen as something we need to be able to pick up anywhere2, so they’re available in all sorts of places, and they’re not overly expensive. Hell, in the 518 region, there are barbershops and coffee shops that always have free condoms on hand. That’s pretty bad ass, if you ask me. Most places even stock the giant ones because boys are ridiculous and don’t seem to understand that wearing condoms that are too big for their penises can actually increase the risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Read more…

It’s Personal: I don’t need saving.

March 9th, 2015 2 comments

Every time someone finds out about the hierarchy in my relationship, they try to save me.

When I worked at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, it was a strong black woman who proclaimed that no man should ever try to control his woman. The woman should do the controlling.

When I worked at the mansion, it was a wimpy white woman1 who desperately wanted out from under her husband’s thumb, and projected her desires and despair onto me.

Last week, it was a friend’s brother-in-law who doesn’t even know us.

It started like this. Read more…

Kintionary: SSC

March 6th, 2015 Comments off
You can buy this (from someone else) here.

You can buy this (from someone else) here.

SSC is one of a number of acronyms that are used as guidelines, of sorts, for BDSM play. Here’s how it breaks down:

S – Safe – Playing safely means identifying the risks involved in BDSM play, and taking care to avoid anything that may result in unintended injury. Ways of doing this can be preplanning play sessions, keeping first aid kits nearby, having an experienced dungeon monitor or spotter around, preparing for aftercare before the scene, among other things.

S – Sane – “Sane” can be interpreted two ways.

The first is that all people participating in BDSM must be of sound body and mind during a scene. This means no mind altering substances, like drugs or alcohol. Some also take this to mean that people who struggle with mental illness may not participate in BDSM unless and until they are able to control (for lack of a better word) their disability.

The second is that all actions in BDSM play must be considered “sane” regardless of desire or consent.

Some circles believe both interpretations of this particular word in this acronym are problematic because they are both used to police the lives and relationships of consenting adults. Besides that, the idea that people with mental illness are not allowed to make their own decisions regarding their sex lives and relationships is an extremely ableist attitude.

And for that matter, one need only spend five minutes on any social media platform (in any circle) to understand that people define “sane” very differently. For example, one person might think getting your tongue pierced is an act of insanity, while another person might think multiple tongue piercings are no big deal.

C – Consensual – This means that any and all interactions will not begin until everyone involved has consented to them, and will end the very second someone withdraws their consent. This also means that nothing will happen unless everyone has consented to it. Nothing means nothing. No touching, no hitting, no kissing…nothing unless and until you’ve been given permission.

Some call SSC a BDSM “rule,” but in truth, not everyone in the kink community agrees that SSC is the way to go. Some prefer to use RACK (will be defined next week) as their guide, while others prefer to eschew guidelines and let their own instincts, fetishes, and moral compasses be their guides.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

Yep…that about sums me up. #BDSMTest

March 5th, 2015 Comments off

SilverHubby took this BDSM test, and got 4% Submissive, and I was all ~raised eyebrow face~ except I can’t raise one eyebrow.

So I took the test, and the only thing I’m really surprised about is the 2% Brat Tamer. Like, for real? Me? A brat tamer? Yeah, right. If by “brat taming,” you mean telling a bitch about herself and then tossing her out of my bedroom no matter how hot she is, then yeah…I’m a brat tamer. Heh.


== Results from ==

100% Bondage Receiver
100% Degradation Receiver
100% Experimentalist
100% Masochist
100% Slave
100% Submissive
80% Primal (Prey)
79% Non-monogamist
75% Girl/Boy
74% Voyeur
66% Exhibitionist
49% Pervert
47% Primal (Predator)
25% Bondage Giver
25% Sadist
16% Brat
9% Degradation Giver
9% Switch
4% Dominant
2% Brat Tamer
0% All-Rounder
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Master/Mistress
0% Vanilla

See my results online at

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30 Day of Kink: Kink In the Vanilla World

March 3rd, 2015 2 comments

30 Days of KinkFor the rest of this series, and links to others who have participated, click here.

Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

I dunno if I’ve ever told this story. Huh. Seems I’ve been holding more to my breast than I’ve realized.

M’s a bit of an exhibitionist. I am, too, but I don’t get to pick when I get to be an exhibitionist. M does.

We’re also both huge nature enthusiasts. We love hiking, camping, fishing…if we can do it outside, we probably love it. Except baseball…M hates baseball. Which sucks for me because I fucking LOVE baseball.

Anyway… Read more…

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It’s Personal: My Anger Problem

March 2nd, 2015 2 comments

Sometimes, I wish I had one of those blogs where I could just post any silly thing, and not feel like I was totally copping out.

Of course, these days, copping out and posting something stupid would be way better than what I do…which is not post.

Things are…you know that thing when you’re not necessarily unhappy, you’re just stressed the fuck out, and it feels like the whole world is against you, and no matter what you do, you get bullshit in return, so you just don’t do anything, and you still get bullshit in return, and the only reason you’re still loving life is the people and animals you spend every waking moment (and most of the sleeping ones, too, if only physically) with? That’s how things are.

I have an anger problem. Let’s just put that out there. Read more…

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