Home > Rayne > On S.W.A.G. (Sex With A Grudge) and Murdering Vaginas

On S.W.A.G. (Sex With A Grudge) and Murdering Vaginas

March 10th, 2015

mi7gDc2IpRd3iWK-EcMDDwgIf you’ve ever been in a corner store in any urban area, you’ll notice there are a few constants. Cigars no one in their right mind would smoke1, alcohol, condoms, and male enhancement pills.

I mean, yay, we’re moving forward, huh? Condoms are now seen as something we need to be able to pick up anywhere2, so they’re available in all sorts of places, and they’re not overly expensive. Hell, in the 518 region, there are barbershops and coffee shops that always have free condoms on hand. That’s pretty bad ass, if you ask me. Most places even stock the giant ones because boys are ridiculous and don’t seem to understand that wearing condoms that are too big for their penises can actually increase the risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancy.

And when it comes right down to it, male enhancement pills go hand-in-hand with condoms; especially in the club/rave scene where drugs and alcohol can make it difficult to achieve and maintain erection3. You don’t need a condom if you can’t perform.

So a few days ago, M and I went into the corner store nearest us for…something. I forget what. It could have been anything. We finish ringing out, and as we leave, M says, “Did you see that fake Viagra box?”

I did not. I generally ignore the acrylic box on the counter that is full of ‘herbal’ male enhancements and ecigs because I need neither.

“It said…damn it, now I can’t remember, but it was pretty fucked up!”

I was not surprised. Marketing for anything that is decidedly male is ‘pretty fucked up’. The marketing industry in current society thinks men should be macho, sex crazed lunatics, apparently, and create their advertising material accordingly.

The next time I went, I was by myself in the store. M waited in the car. So while I’m waiting for the guy to ring me up, I let my eyes wander.

And there it was. The fake Viagra with fucked up marketing.

It’s called S.W.A.G. – Sex With A Grudge. And while I tried to overlook the name (because who doesn’t enjoy a little angry sex every now and then?), I could not stop glaring at the marketing.

It says, “1 to hurt it, 2 to kill it” and it has pictures in case you don’t understand what that means.

In the first one, the stick woman’s bent over doggy style, and her genitals are smoking. In the second, she’s sprawled out on her back. There are Xes over her eyes indicating that she’s dead. Her vagina is on fire.

On fire, y’all.

In both, the stick dude is standing over her looking triumphant, but in the second, his dick is bigger, his muscles are bigger, and he looks downright evil.

If the packaging and subsequent comments/reviews reflect the opinions and sex ed of men, it’s no wonder so many think sex is inextricably connected to violence.

When did sex become about killing something? When did it become about one person’s genitals conquering another person’s genitals? Why do so many men want to make women ‘tap out’? Was my vagina bad, and that’s why all these dudes want to ‘punish it all night long’? And finally, why the fuck do we think it’s okay to market sexual health products this way?

But hey, at least they’re offering an alternative to forgoing the condom during ‘Down Dick Time’. Take these pills, get Hulk dick, and never worry about losing your erection while you’re fumbling with the condom wrapper again!

Frankly, it’s disgusting. It’s one more piece of fuel on the giant bonfire that is rape culture. And I’m actually considering asking the owner of my local corner store to stop carrying S.W.A.G. because of the connotations on its packaging.

Listen, fellas. Maybe you took Amanda Bynes seriously with all her ‘murder my vagina’ nonsense. I’m here to tell you that no woman truly wants her vagina murdered by your penis. We want to be able to enjoy more penis (even if it’s always the same one), which would be greatly hindered by a murdered vagina.

But if you’re still thinking about picking up this product4, know that most of the reviews I’ve read say it’s bunk, and many people have reported side effects such as hallucinations, migraines, elevated blood pressure, and nose bleeds. Make sure you read this warning from the FDA that says S.W.A.G.’s claim that you can take these pills while on meds for heart or blood pressure problems is a lie. In fact, according to the FDA, the makers are illegally injecting the active ingredient in Viagra (sildenafil) into the pills and have chosen not to disclose this to consumers. Wouldn’t want you to die while you’re busy murdering vaginas.

Looking for safer sex supplies? Here are some links that’ll help you find them:

  • Check out Condom Finder nation wide for locations near you that offer free condoms, or add your own location if you have free condoms on hand.
  • Here’s a list of places in Albany, NY that have free condoms available. This list includes some coffee shops and barbershops! Albany is serious about STI prevention.
  • Here’s a map of places where you can get tested for STIs and pregnancy, and get your hands on safer sex supplies in Albany, Schenectady, and Troy.
  • And, as always, stop in to a Planned Parenthood near you (or give them a call) for more resources. Planned Parenthood has always been there for me. I will always be there for Planned Parenthood.

P.S. Just in case you couldn’t tell, this post is not an ad.

1. For taking apart and filling with weed.
2. Because duh? They are.
3. For men and women, but you’ll probably never see marketing aimed at women that talks about murdering penises.
4. If you’re still planning on picking up this product, we can’t be friends anymore.

  1. dweaver999
    March 14th, 2015 at 14:51 | #1


    This is one of the most asinine products I have ever seen. One wonders why the FDA hasn’t taken steps to get the makers taken down–hard.


  2. Heaven
    March 15th, 2015 at 21:45 | #2

    Wow, all I can do is shake my damn head at the stupidity.

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