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NS(K)Q: Q46 – BDSM and Pregnancy

January 23rd, 2015 3 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 45:

My question is about BDSM while pregnant. Neither my husband or I are into much S&M since we don’t care for pain that often, but we do like some hard sex, spanking, and choking me. I found out I’m pregnant around Thanksgiving and was wondering if you had any advice on being safe? I don’t want to harm the baby but I also don’t want to cut out this part of our relationship completely (especially since he has a pregnant fetish). Any advice or words of wisdom?

I want to preface this with “I am not a doctor.” It might actually be a good idea to be open with your doctor about your sexuality and ask him or her what they feel is the best course of action. You might be pleasantly surprised by their reaction. There are some risks, of course. You have to do what you feel is best. But you could feel the doc out before telling them everything by asking what they think about erotic spanking, or whatever.

A lot of my advice will be based on my own experiences with rough sex and pregnancy (I didn’t actually participate in what most people consider BDSM until after my youngest child was born), and some information I’ve found in various sources. Read more…

Kinktionary: Domination

January 23rd, 2015 1 comment

found here - if you are or know the photographer, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

found here – if you are or know the photographer, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

One of the words referenced in the acronym “BDSM“.

To dominate is to rule, govern, or control. Domination, in the context of BDSM, is the consensual exertion of control over a person, usually (but not always) a submissive. The control can be service or sexually oriented, both, neither. It all depends on the desires of the people involved.

A person who likes to dominate other people can fall anywhere on the gender or sexuality spectrum. The level of domination a dominant is allowed to exert over a submissive varies from relationship to relationship, and sometimes from encounter to encounter. Domination may include sadistic play, or it may not. Domination may include bondage, or it may not. Ultimately, what it all boils down to is control, however that manifests for the people involved.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!