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My Pleasure Is His Pleasure

January 5th, 2015

20091004-IMG_1003I feel like I’m in training again.

I guess I sort of am. I mean, you don’t go years without doing something without losing a little bit of it, right?

One of Master’s go-to fantasies (that he’s only taken the opportunity to fulfill once) is placing me in the hands of an alpha for whom I have no respect. Someone he trusts to not go too far, but who I act as if I think I’m above because of their personality flaws.

That sounds really bad, but if you’ve roamed the kinky internet halls as often and as long as we have, you meet some seriously fucked up motherfuckers. I mean, that’s life in general, right? There are some people wandering the earth who are pretty much just dicks. And some of those people aren’t really dicks, they’ve just rubbed us the wrong way for some reason. Master gets off on the idea of making me submit to one of those people.

Which, of course, pisses me off, and makes me want to be impossible to the people he chooses, but I can’t. That would make him look bad. There are very few things that I am actually afraid to do, and making him look bad is one of them.

I mean, what’s he gonna do that he doesn’t do already and because I ask him to? Leave? Throw me out? Highly unlikely. But as Genie said in one of the Aladdin movies, “You’d be surprised what you can live through.”

He’s been talking about involving ourselves in a threesome with one of those people, giving that person authority over me, and seeing where it takes us. The idea makes me cringe and puddle at the same time. Force is one of our kinks, and being made to do things that I don’t want or like to do is one of my kinks, and the last time he gave me to someone I didn’t want him to give me to, it was oh, so hot for everyone involved. Except maybe the guy, because he for sure knew I hated him and was just doing what I was told.

But maybe that was part of his kink. I never asked. I didn’t care. I was just pleasing my owner (and getting off on it).

Occasionally, when we’re having sex, he talks about the potential threesome. He likes to do it while his fingers are in my cunt, and his balls are in my mouth, so he can feel how my body responds to his ideas. And while he’s finger-fucking me, and filling my head with sexy images, he’ll throw in a bit of instruction, or a little tip. “Men like watching women fuck themselves,” and “If we do this, I better see you scooping up his cum and licking it off your fingers every time he ejaculates.”

The threesome sounds hot, but it’s not something I actively pine after.

His voice in my ear growling and whispering all the dirty, disgusting things he wants to watch another man do to me? I actively pine over that. Because it’s not about the other man. It’s never been about the other man. The other man is just a means to an end. A tool for pleasing my owner. If cyborgs were real, he could program one to be his fantasy dick, and for me, the end result would be the same. I submitted to an asshole to please my owner.

Ultimately, my pleasure is his pleasure.

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  1. January 5th, 2015 at 13:15 | #1

    Rayne, this is one seriously hot post. Jesus fuck. It trips so many of my own triggers and echoes so much of how we play (or have played in the past.) Even down to how you feel about it.

    Damn. Makes me wish I was home with W instead of at work.

  2. RynJ21
    February 8th, 2015 at 23:17 | #2

    …Welp, this is more relate-able than I like *laughs*
    (I am still coming to terms with my perverseness)

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