Gandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 47:

My girlfriend and I have been together over four years. Coming into the relationship, we knew that we had each been in D/s relationships previously, and actively practiced our kinks. As time went on, I’ve begun to feel even more submissive to her but she has been less dominant. She says that she still enjoys it but finds it hard to dominate or release her sadist nature because she “loves me too much and feels like she’s hurting me after a scene”. When she does let her Dom/Sadist nature out, it’s FANTASTIC until her second thoughts kick in. What can I do to help her get past this, to see that she’s not hurting me but giving me exactly what I need?

Your girlfriend’s reaction is not an uncommon one. From very young ages, we’re taught not to hurt those we love intentionally, so it’s only natural to feel a bit guilty after hurting our romantic partner…and enjoying it.

There are lots of things you can do to help her get through this. Here’s just a few to get you started: Read more…

found here – if you are or know the photographer, please let me know so I can give proper credit

To submit is to give up control. The act of submission, as it pertains to BDSM, is the consensual relinquishing of control to another person, usually (but not always) a dominant. The control can be service or sexually oriented, both, neither. It all depends on the desires of the people involved.

A person who likes to submit to people can fall anywhere on the gender or sexuality spectrum. The level of control a submissive relinquishes to their dominant varies from relationship to relationship, and sometimes from encounter to encounter. Submission may include masochistic play, or it may not. Submission may include bondage, or it may not. Ultimately, what it all boils down to is control, however that manifests for the people involved.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

tl;dr: The awesome Crista Anne is fighting depression with an #OrgasmQuest, and even Dr. Drew is intrigued.

That up there is an amazing lady named Crista Anne. She’s a mom of four. She wrestles with depression and social anxiety. She does battle with fibromyalgia and migraines. And though she has always been a very sexual creature, she finds herself on an orgasm quest to end anorgasmia.

Crista Anne was once described by sex educator Ashley Manta thusly:

“She was a vision in rainbow. Like Lisa Frank and Rainbow Brite had hot sex and Crista was the result.”

I can’t think of a better description. Read more…

Gandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 45:

My question is about BDSM while pregnant. Neither my husband or I are into much S&M since we don’t care for pain that often, but we do like some hard sex, spanking, and choking me. I found out I’m pregnant around Thanksgiving and was wondering if you had any advice on being safe? I don’t want to harm the baby but I also don’t want to cut out this part of our relationship completely (especially since he has a pregnant fetish). Any advice or words of wisdom?

I want to preface this with “I am not a doctor.” It might actually be a good idea to be open with your doctor about your sexuality and ask him or her what they feel is the best course of action. You might be pleasantly surprised by their reaction. There are some risks, of course. You have to do what you feel is best. But you could feel the doc out before telling them everything by asking what they think about erotic spanking, or whatever.

A lot of my advice will be based on my own experiences with rough sex and pregnancy (I didn’t actually participate in what most people consider BDSM until after my youngest child was born), and some information I’ve found in various sources. Read more…

found here – if you are or know the photographer, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

To dominate is to rule, govern, or control. Domination, in the context of BDSM, is the consensual exertion of control over a person, usually (but not always) a submissive. The control can be service or sexually oriented, both, neither. It all depends on the desires of the people involved.

A person who likes to dominate other people can fall anywhere on the gender or sexuality spectrum. The level of domination a dominant is allowed to exert over a submissive varies from relationship to relationship, and sometimes from encounter to encounter. Domination may include sadistic play, or it may not. Domination may include bondage, or it may not. Ultimately, what it all boils down to is control, however that manifests for the people involved.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

So…

Last night, I had to ask M to turn off a porn flick because the girl’s rectum kept prolapsing.

The guys doing her would express concern, and she’d just shove it back in, and say, “It’s okay, baby. I’m just excited.”

I was pretty much horrified.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Except…is this a new thing? “Ooo, baby, I want to fuck you till your butthole falls out!” Cuz…just…no.