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10 Things I Hate About 2014

December 30th, 2014

frustration10. Our complete lack of interest in leaving the house. I’ve never ordered groceries so much in my life. After M’s back surgery, I justified it with him not being able to stand long enough for a proper grocery shopping run. But once he got better (not 100%; he’s still not 100%), we still did everything we could to not leave our house, and if we absolutely had to leave the house, we did what we could to not leave our neighborhood. I don’t know what that’s about. Probably the stress of the year. But let me tell you, I’m fucking bored of these white walls.

9. Vacation with the fam. Okay, it wasn’t terrible. But it wasn’t awesome either. I don’t really like my sister’s fiancee, which is a huge point of contention between me and my sister. I don’t really like the way either of them treats my mother, who is the sole reason they’ve been able to keep my niece living in a safe neighborhood. And I’m definitely not happy with some of the things he does to my niece; like the time he was throwing firecrackers at my mother, and when M and I told him to knock it off, he sent my niece out to throw firecrackers at her instead. And then there was that time he started watching Vines, or something, on his iPhone without headphones and on max volume when M’s boss called while we were playing a game…yeah, I’ve never been so happy to come off vacation in my life. I haven’t talked about it before now because I have no idea if she reads here, and I hadn’t talked to her about it yet. But now I have, and this is my space, so I’m talking about it now. #sorrynotsorry

8. Our finances. Seems like every time we start to get ahead, something happens, and we fall behind again.

7. Our car. It’s time for a new one. Our mechanic keeps saying, “Nah, it’s a good little car!” But it’s looking like we could probably buy a new one for half what we’d have to spend to get her in tip top shape. And we can’t afford to do either of those things, right now, so we’re stuck with a half broken car. Yay.

6. Getting the flu right before Christmas. Omfg. Srsly.

5. Twitter. Social media has been dubbed the “Outrage Machine,” and that goes doubly for Twitter. It doesn’t matter what group you belong to, there is always shouting and activism and anger and hatred. Twitter’s become an energy vampire. One giant gaping screaming hole where everyone’s throwing shade at everyone, and you have to use a microscope to find any joy. Blech.

4. How much M has had to work. If it weren’t for the second plate I fill each meal, I’d feel like I live alone some weeks.

3. CatalystCon. It started with CCON East, and the totally flippant way consent was handled after a slightly uncomfortable (for some of the people in the audience) Q&A between Carol Queen and Betty Dodson. Easily solved, you’d think. But when people repeatedly brought the discomfort to the attention of the conference founder, she flat out told people they couldn’t possibly know what they were talking about. You can read this post for a more detailed description of CatalystCon East, and why I’m not thrilled with Carol Queen and Betty Dodson. Then CCON West happened, and a group of sex toy aficionados got behind a mic and told a crowded room that there is no such thing as toxic toys and anyone saying so is an elitist toy snob. Uhmwhat?

2. Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, John Crawford III, Akai Gurley. (Not the people. What happened to them.) There have been others. Some of them were white. But more often than not, victims of police overreach are not white. These men and boys were not white. Akai Gurley was just visiting his girlfriend when a police officer patrolling her apartment complex (gun drawn) “was startled” and shot him to death. Tamir Rice was only twelve years old. He was playing cops and robbers with his friends in the park. There’s a possibility he could have been saved had he not been left on the ground without medical attention.

And coming in at #1:

M’s back surgery. I don’t know what it was about M’s back surgery, but I was fucking petrified. I mean, when he had his gallbladder out, I was worried, but it was emergency surgery, and it all went so fast that I didn’t have time to process the emotions before he was already on the mend and back to work. I didn’t really understand what was going on with the MRSA until he was home and healing. So maybe it was that the back thing was spread out over a year? Or maybe the very real possibility of him losing mobility? All of the above? But holy shit, it scared the fuck out of me. I would be perfectly happy if nothing like that ever happened again. You hear me, Universe? Please?

Goodbye, 2014. You old bastard.

***Public Service Announcement

You all know how I feel about driving while intoxicated. If you don’t, and you’re curious, ask me about it and I’ll tell you what happened to my biological mother. So to make it a little easier on you to avoid it, I try to provide links to as many safe rides as I can. Here’s this year’s list:

If you’re partying in the Capitol Region in New York, or in New York City, you can get a free safe ride home on New Year’s Eve by calling 1-800-LAW-1010. “The Heavy Hitters,” Martin, Harding, and Mazzotti offer free cab rides every year, ’cause they’re awesome. Just call the number, and tell the operator where you are, and a cab will arrive shortly.

CDTA is offering free bus rides from 8pm Dec 31 until 1am Jan 1.

If you live outside of this area, or in another state, you can find a list of Sober Rides here. Some will even take you home in your own vehicle. Be sure to check the fine print before going out, though! Some have restrictions and fees.

I’m sure this list is nowhere near complete. Before you go out, please be sure to look up a safe ride near you and put the number in your phone, or jot it on your hand, or tattoo it on your hip, or something just in case you need it. We love you all, and we want you all back in one piece in the morning.

(P.S. No one pays me for this. Your safety is just that important to me.)

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  1. RynJ21
    January 4th, 2015 at 18:15 | #1

    M’s back surgery really hit you hard. I’m happy for you both that he’s on the mend.
    The outrage over police brutality resulted in very high tensions in my city. For a while I was terrified to go outside and that’s no way to live.

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