Alternate title: My Unpopular Opinions Get Me In Trouble Again

So unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past month, you know humanity landed spacecraft on a comet. This is pretty huge. Go, humans. You (probably) did something good.

You’ve also probably heard that one of the scientists involved in the project showed up to an interview wearing a bowling shirt covered in sexy ladies in latex. If you haven’t, let me show you:

As you can imagine, that launched a venerable shit storm that ultimately resulted in the scientist breaking down into a tearful apology on television.

Uhm…go humans, I guess?

Except not really, because holy double standards, Batman!

So, what you’re telling me is this:

Women can be porn stars, strippers, hookers, lingerie models, and professional dominants and submissives (and various other types of sex work), and that’s empowering, and okay, and we should absolutely stand behind them.

Men should want to watch porn, look at strippers and lingerie models, pay hookers to fuck them, and pay pro dommes and subs for their services (but only if their moms, sisters, girlfriends, and wives approve), and that’s okay, and we should pretend we don’t think those guys are sleazebags (because let’s face it…no matter what we say, men are shamed for their interest in the sexuality we say women should feel empowered to express) because they’re putting money into the pockets of empowered women.

But if a man wears a shirt depicting those porn stars, strippers, hookers, lingerie models, or professional dominants and submissives, and proudly proclaiming his interest in them, he’s a misogynist neckbeard, and should crawl back into his hole.

Which also means, at the very least, that women should only be sex workers in their private lives, and should never, ever, ever let anyone find out that’s what they do for a living.

Somehow, I’m not thinking that’s what you meant to say, here, feminists. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

So here’s what I suggest:

Take a breath. Regroup. Apologize to that poor sap of a scientist who was just showing off the shirt his female¹ friend made for him. And focus on something that really matters. Like the unarmed bipolar black woman in Cleveland who was killed by police in front of her family, and then left laying half naked on the ground without aid.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

_{1. But I’m sure she was just brainwashed by the patriarchy, right?}