Home > No Stupid (Kink) Questions > No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 32 – No Possessions + Isolation = Consensual Slavery?

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 32 – No Possessions + Isolation = Consensual Slavery?

September 9th, 2014

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 32:

I met this dominant on the internet, and they say that if I want to be owned by them, I have to sell all my belongings, quit my job, sign my kids over to my ex, cut ties with my family, and move to live with them in the middle of nowhere with no ties to the outside world, or even a backup plan. I dunno that I’m comfortable with that. Does that mean I can’t be a slave?

Once upon a time, I knew a slave who claimed she’d done this. She probably still haunts the internet, but I intentionally stopped reading anything posted by her because I got tired of reading about how she sold thousands of dollars worth of designer shoes, clothes, handbags, and furniture to move out into the middle of nowhere and become isolated and enslaved, and how that made her so much better than the rest of us. She and her friends say she wasn’t saying she was better than everyone else, but I once read something she posted in which she said that if you didn’t live like her, you weren’t a slave, so…yeah.

Because obviously, not seeking out a person who wants that from you, and then begging their collar, makes you a shitty slave. And of course, if your owner doesn’t want that from you, they are a shitty owner. I mean, how could you think otherwise?


You do not have to give up everything you own, or your job, or your children, or your family, or your friends to be a slave if that’s not something you’re interested in. And if that’s not something you’re interested in, then obviously, that dominant you met on the internet is not for you.

I don’t have a job. I probably won’t have a “real” job again until M and I go back to school, and even then, it’s just a means to an end. I’ll be doing the mandatory work hours for my culinary degree, and then moving on. Because the end game for my culinary degree is us owning a restaurant and M being our boss. But that’s just because that’s how he prefers it. He wants his slave at his beck and call with no one else interfering.

Not all masters are interested in that. I once knew a slave whose owner put her through law school and then retired almost the second she passed the bar and found a job. I know another slave who’s a doctor, and one who’s a nurse. I used to be head dietician for an adult living center. It really just depends on the needs and wants of the couple in question.

I didn’t have any fancy things to sell when I met M, but even if I did, he wouldn’t have made me sell them unless he didn’t like them. Or he felt like he needed to prove a point. If he felt like making me sell my things would get something through to me, he’d totally do it.

Most of the slaves I know still interact with their family pretty regularly. Kaya, from Under His Hand, raised her kids while living as a 24/7 slave, and still takes her grandchildren when she can. Reaper’s creature (who will probably always be jenpet to me) has children with her master.

While you’re single, shop around for someone who has similar interests, limits, dynamic and sexual needs. I mean, isn’t that the point of dating, anyway? To find someone whose weird matches ours? It certainly doesn’t make you less of a slave once you’re owned. Because…I mean…you’re still owned. Right?

  1. Heaven
    September 9th, 2014 at 19:08 | #1

    I would tell him to go straight to hell. There is no way I am giving up anything for anyone.

  2. September 23rd, 2014 at 13:10 | #2

    Honestly, if someone said some shit like this to me… I’d run as far away from that person as possible. I feel like what this D is asking steps into the border line of an abuse, but at least he’s upfront about it. I can’t say for certain he is an abuser because there isn’t enough information in the question to answer that. That doesn’t mean what was said doesn’t set off red flags for me. Having you give up everything and isolating you from the outside world and everyone you know isn’t something that anyone should agree to without seriously knowing someone as well as seriously knowing whether or not you want to be a slave to this degree. (Since the s in question asked “does this mean I can’t be a slave?” I’d say they don’t know what level slave they want/can be.) D/s relationships work because you agree to be that way not because one person wants everything and gets what they want.

  3. MasterMongoose
    December 6th, 2014 at 13:15 | #3

    Run. A Master that is right for you, would inspire this if it were your need. It appears to have nothing to do with being a slave, but about being a victim. Slaves are not victims, Masters do not need to isolate and unempower a slave to own her.

    On the contrary, the more power she has to be taken, the stronger it is for both, IMO.

    So, it might make a fun game … Otherwise; Run.

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